is it a "go"- or have I been blown off?

[headinclouds]

Hi Everyone,

The last time I posted the guy I was "seeing" decided it was a good time to let me know that he was gay. It had been hard at first but things have softened out and we're good friends. So that's my quick update.

But now I have new questions about another guy and wondering what people in here think I should do.

 

Since the summer I noticed this really hot guy who would come into my workplace but I never went up to him or let him know that I thought he was outright handsome because I was pretty content with the developmental process with the gay guy I mentioned above. (wow did I chose the wrong one eh?)

But anyway, I let it slide and I would just notice him when he'd come in, and he'd notice me and after the ending of the summer romance with the gay man, I took a step to start talking to this cute guy when he'd come in next.

 

Well, it went great. And he was so nice and sweet to talk to and has the most incredible smile and I haven't felt so.....DRAWN to a guy like this in over 2 years.

Everytime I see him, I am smiling like crazy and he is too! Once he sees me, he has a smile that won't wipe off his face. We are like too little kids that can't stop looking at eachother and (on my part) blushing. And that's so not me at all!!!!

For the sake of it, I will name this guy Greg* to make it a smoother read.

So, Greg* was actually the one to fully introduce himself to me at the end of September and since then whenever he comes in, and I happen to be working, we will smile at eachother, say a few things, and then I leave him alone to do this thing because I am not obsessed and I would never want to make him feel uncomfortable in my workplace.

 

He came in a lot in November and usually on Wednesday nights when I always work a constant close shift. So, I did something, I went up to him at the beginning of my break and asked him if he'd like to get a quick coffee with me. he jumped up right away (he was sitting) and was instantly smiling and came with me for a coffee. We sat and chatted for 15 minutes and got so much stuff out about ourselves and growing up! He seems like such a sweet guy. He even asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told him "no"...and I elaborated because it flowed nicely into another topic I wanted to tell him about - SO- I never asked him if he had a girlfriend.

But here's my thinking, he wouldn't have asked me if i had a boyfriend, just for me to ask him back if he was involved and have him tell me, "well yeah, I do have a girlfriend." So, I think he is single.

 

OK, so I told myself that the next Wednesday that I work, if he comes in, I would ask him out. But he never came in. And 2 friends of mine who work with me and know what he looks like, told me that he was coming in a lot!!! I just was not working!

So, anyway, I have not seen him now since that day I sat with him for coffee. It's been almost a month and a half!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Did I do something wrong?

 

I know it has been holiday season and school has started again and he lives like 1 hour away from where I do and probably went home for the holidays but I just feel that if he was really interested in me, that he'd try to come see me and talk to me more or ask me for my number or something. He pretty much can figure out that I am really interested in him and I'm backing off because my mind has been made up that if he asked me out, I'd be like, "yes" but I don't know what he'd say... He's also 4 years older than me, I don't know if that makes a difference to you guys to know.

 

Have I been blown off? Or should I stick with this even though I have no idea when I will next see him?

A male friend of mine told me that the ball is in his court since I asked him for coffee and now all i have to do is wait and see...but i'm starting to lose major interest now....i feel somewhat cheated out of this connection that I felt with Greg ---because I no longer see him.

Am I being stupid? should I just forget about him and move on? or should I make a move on him the next time he comes in (whenever that may be!)

 

Sorry it's so long.

 

thanks.

Jess.

[sarah12]

The one possibility I can think of is that he has a girlfriend and realized that he really liked you too but he can't cross that fine line, and therefore stopped himself from seeing you. But I mean, I'm sure there could be other reasons too.

 

I think you should forget about it for now. Wait till he comes in again. I'm sure he will.

[headinclouds]

thank you sarah for answering.

i thought that he might have been involved with someone else too but he's always alone when he comes around and it has been that way for 7 months now....who knows... but i guess i'll have to leave it be and see what happens.

i'm just nervous and confused right now.

 

thanks.

[clia]

Don't take this the wrong way, but it seems like you developed a fantasy relationship with this guy. Based on your post it sounds like he has frequented where you work, and the two of you had coffee once for fifteen minutes while you were on a break. He's never asked you out...have you ever even seen him outside of your work?

 

I don't think you were blown off...I just think there was nothing there to begin with. If he was really interested, he'd be up there asking for your phone number or asking you out. He has never done any of these things.

 

Move on.