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Think I pissed off a girl that I think likes me...

Confusedguy81

By Confusedguy81
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Confusedguy81 Established Member

Confusedguy81

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There's this girl that is in two of my college classes and we have been getting along pretty well. I wasn't sure if she liked me at first but things became different later. She started getting a tad touchy, such as tapping my chair in class with her foot or brushing her foot against my leg that may be nothing but an accident. I teased her all the time and she didn't seem to mind at all. She then started playfully whacking me or pushing me.

The next day in a different class I came in extremely tired, having been up for around 20 hours, running on 3 hours of sleep, and dealing with lifes drama. To say the least, I was in a really bad mood. I sit with her and a friend of hers in this class and I didn't say anything coming in and just focused on the class. During the break she asked why I was being grumpy. Usually, I'm fun loving and shameless so being almost completely silent is a tad unusual. I just told her I was tired because my brother called me at 11 pm the night because he was having some major problems. I told her why he called and then it led into her and her friend asking me a million questions. I tried to deflect it with humor, saying they were nosey with a chuckle and smile. THey still wouldn't shutup so I spoke some harsh words and just got up to get a breath of fresh air and listen to my ipod. When I got back I could tell she was pissed, and when class ended she didn't even cast a glance towards me. So I guess I have two questions: could she like me or am I delusional and should I apologize?

 

Thanks for reading and responding to my long post filled with 90210 bs.

Edited by Confusedguy81
troggleputty Established Member

troggleputty

Posted
Posted
There's this girl that is in two of my college classes and we have been getting along pretty well. I wasn't sure if she liked me at first but things became different later. She started getting a tad touchy, such as tapping my chair in class with her foot or brushing her foot against my leg that may be nothing but an accident. I teased her all the time and she didn't seem to mind at all. She then started playfully whacking me or pushing me.

The next day in a different class I came in extremely tired, having been up for around 20 hours, running on 3 hours of sleep, and dealing with lifes drama. To say the least, I was in a really bad mood. I sit with her and a friend of hers in this class and I didn't say anything coming in and just focused on the class. During the break she asked why I was being grumpy. Usually, I'm fun loving and shameless so being almost completely silent is a tad unusual. I just told her I was tired because my brother called me at 11 pm the night because he was having some major problems. I told her why he called and then it led into her and her friend asking me a million questions. I tried to deflect it with humor, saying they were nosey with a chuckle and smile. THey still wouldn't shutup so I spoke some harsh words and just got up to get a breath of fresh air and listen to my ipod. When I got back I could tell she was pissed, and when class ended she didn't even cast a glance towards me. So I guess I have two questions: could she like me or am I delusional and should I apologize?

 

Thanks for reading and responding to my long post filled with 90210 bs.

 

You behaved exactly correctly, DON'T APOLOGIZE. I think the girl does like you, but she and her friend were getting way too nosy about your bro's personal business.

 

This girl had a hissy fit simply because she couldn't get you wrapped around her little finger and you did not play the "nice guy." But you don't want to be the "nice guy" anyway, because then it's the friend zone for you.

 

Brother, I applaud you for just acting like a man. Again do NOT apologize as you have nothing to apologize for. She should apologize to you for being so nosy when your bro. was in a crisis and you were exhausted.

 

I would just brush it off when you see her again, play it cool, flirt, get your game on. Don't wuss out on us bro.

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Confusedguy81 Established Member

Confusedguy81

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You behaved exactly correctly, DON'T APOLOGIZE. I think the girl does like you, but she and her friend were getting way too nosy about your bro's personal business.

 

This girl had a hissy fit simply because she couldn't get you wrapped around her little finger and you did not play the "nice guy." But you don't want to be the "nice guy" anyway, because then it's the friend zone for you.

 

Brother, I applaud you for just acting like a man. Again do NOT apologize as you have nothing to apologize for. She should apologize to you for being so nosy when your bro. was in a crisis and you were exhausted.

 

I would just brush it off when you see her again, play it cool, flirt, get your game on. Don't wuss out on us bro.

 

good insight and thanks for your response. It clears things up.

marsle85 Established Member

marsle85

Posted
Posted

You were rude. You did act incorrectly. I don't care whether it was a girl who liked you or not, she was trying to be a friend by asking what happened. You should have told her politely you didn't want to talk about it. I would apologize for sure. Especially if you want to have anything with this girl.

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Confusedguy81 Established Member

Confusedguy81

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You were rude. You did act incorrectly. I don't care whether it was a girl who liked you or not, she was trying to be a friend by asking what happened. You should have told her politely you didn't want to talk about it. I would apologize for sure. Especially if you want to have anything with this girl.

 

 

Even if I did tell her I didn't want to talk about it and she still pushed?

troggleputty Established Member

troggleputty

Posted
Posted
You were rude. You did act incorrectly.

 

 

You're j/king right? Although confused happens to like this girl, she's only a casual acquaintance at this time. She has absolutely no right to intrude into confused's personal family business or his bro's personal business. That's what was rude. Not only that, but it wasn't just this girl he likes that was present; there was some other person/girl there too. So you know if they hear some juicy personal tidbit they're going to gossip about it, that's what they were so curious about--some easy titillation at the expense of confused's bro's privacy.

 

Confused has an obligation to his bro. to maintain his privacy. Once it became apparent the issue was a personal one, the only proper thing for the girl to have done would have been to acknowledge that, and say: "OK I know you need to speak privately with your bro. I'll give you space to do that, let's talk again later." You see, being interested in some random gossip about OP's bro is NOT the same thing as being interested in the OP himself. And Op should not be catering to this girl's bad, gossipy habits, even if he likes her.

 

This girl was also completely insensitive to the fact that confused was burnt out and tired. She was just giving him a hard time. She needed to back off, and he told her to back off. If she doesn't like that, she can find some other guy to abuse. There are other fish in the sea. OP's duty to protect his bro's privacy is way way way more important than this girl's idle curiosity.

 

 

I don't care whether it was a girl who liked you or not, she was trying to be a friend by asking what happened.

 

.....and it was none of that girl's business. It was a personal issue of OP's bro. Yes she is allowed to inquire. But when told "it's none of your business," she should have just backed off.

 

Women who think with such a sense of entitlement--me me me me-- generally make really bad gf material anyway, no matter how hot they might be.

 

 

 

You should have told her politely you didn't want to talk about it. I would apologize for sure. Especially if you want to have anything with this girl.

 

You have it exactly backward. Apologizing when he was in the right puts this guy immediately in the doormat category/friendzone.

 

Now he shouldn't harp on the incident at all, he should just let it drop. If she wants to get snitty about it later on, he should just calmly tell her, "Oh O.K. well I wouldn't divulge my bro's confidence to a stranger. Now if I knew you a little better it might be different. If you're really interested in talking to me let's go get some coffee or something and we can talk about it."

 

She will either take him up on that invitation (or something like it), if she's interested, or she'll pass, in which case she's not interested and it doesn't matter anyway.

 

Women don't like doormats. But you know that, you're a woman, right? :laugh:

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Confusedguy81 Established Member

Confusedguy81

Posted
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I saw her today and she was fine and chatty. I just acted like nothing had happened...

In_Repair Established Member

In_Repair

Posted
Posted (edited)

You were somewhat rude. Then again, everyone has bad days and one instance of being rude shouldn't be the end of the world. I only say you were rude because in your OP you talked about how you two tease each other all the time. She didn't cause you to be tired and she didn't cause your brother's problems, it seems to me like she was probably just playing with you a little... which is apparently a norm in your relationship. She should have backed off after you were short with your explanation, but she didn't catch on for whatever reason.

 

I don't think you should apologize, but you should talk about it. Instead of apologizing, because you really weren't wrong, I would simply thank her for not over reacting about the situation. You got snotty with her and you know it, she could have just said F you and then never talked to you again.

Edited by In_Repair
mind your own business
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