Are beautiful women REALLY approached by men all the time?

[Don'tWannabeAWannabe]

I've heard many conflicting theories on this.

 

1) Beautiful women get approached by lots and lots of guys all the time, so a guy needs to have a solid game in order to stand above the rest and stand a chance of being with her.

 

2) Beautiful women actually do NOT get approached all that often, because most guys are shy and intimidated by her beauty.

 

Which is it?

[Sharla]

I don't know really and I don't understand it myself. Tonight I was out with friends, and during the beginning of the night, no one would come near me.

 

As the night went on, and I loosened up, I was approached quite often. I think it's if the woman comes across as "don't come near me", that she won't get approached, which is generally how I seem at first.

[utterer of lies]

I don't know really and I don't understand it myself. Tonight I was out with friends, and during the beginning of the night, no one would come near me.

 

As the night went on, and I loosened up, I was approached quite often. I think it's if the woman comes across as "don't come near me", that she won't get approached, which is generally how I seem at first.

 

Its quite simple. Drunk girls get hit on often, because of the massively improved success rate.

 

[nothappyjan]

me and my friends who are all pretty good looking, we rarely get approached by men when out we are all in our 20s Occasionally you might get the pretend approach where they kinda engage you in conversation but they then kinda dont do anything with it or they are drunk and foolish or strange i'd love it if guys approached me ive never been approached anytime other than a night out though!

[Awesome Username]

A good looking women, depending on where she lives, can get hit on constantly.

 

What a lot of people don't get is that a beautiful woman who is so made up that she is out of place (aka, having surgery done, spending 4 hours on your makeup, heels, etc) will get attention...but it's fleeting. She could literally be the smartest woman on the planet and most guys aren't even listening to what she says. There is a balance. If a woman is naturally good looking enough to evoke this response from men, then she is perpetually trying to find men who actually love her for HER, not for what she looks like or her status...or how fast she can put out in the bedroom.

 

Also, people might be surprised and how often people are mean and nasty to someone who is very good looking. Very good looking people are often some of the most insecure people on the planet.

Edited March 7, 2010 by Awesome Username

[Nikki Sahagin]

I think beautiful women are hit on LESS.

 

What people seem to forget is beautiful women actually tend to be LESS secure (not all of course) but really beautiful girls have most likely been mistreated because they are beautiful in many cases; jealousy from other girls, people assuming they are ditzy etc and men normally are intimdated by the most beautiful women.

 

Some of the most beautiful girls I know are the ones that can't find boyfriends, have been cheated on and seem to be hit on more by perves and older men than decent guys.

 

I think the more beautiful a girl is, the more she can potentially bring out the insecurity of her male partner.

[SadandConfusedWA]

Very beautiful women get hit on ALL the time. Those that do not are simply not very beautiful.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Very beautiful women get hit on ALL the time. Those that do not are simply not very beautiful.

 

Hit on or perved on?

[lino]

A girl who is very naturally good looking will get hit on pretty much constantly, I've never seen it to be otherwise.

There will be lots of guys that are intimidated by her ofcourse but there will be an equal amount of guys that have the guts to approach her.

 

I have 2 female cousins that are ubelievably good looking and they haven't been without a guy since they were 14. They are always getting approached by guys.

 

The girl who dumped me which led me to find this site back in 07 was by far the most beautiful girl I've ever been inolved with. Everytime her and I would head out she would get approached by other men when I wasn't in her direct vicinity.

Once she got what she needed from me, she left me for one of her co-workers and is now in a steady relationship with another man from what I hear.

 

On the contrary, I have a female friend that is considerably overweight and she hasn't had a boyfriend since 2002.

[shadowplay]

I really think it depends on the woman and the context. I think the idea that all beautiful women get hit on constantly is a bit overstated.

 

My mother was absolutely gorgeous as a young woman (anyone who saw pictures of her would agree), and she was almost never approached. I think it's because she had this aloof, don't come near me air.

 

Then I've known girls who are somewhat attractive but not beautiful who get hit on all the time. Something about these particular girls is more approachable.

 

It also may be a matter of dress. If a woman dresses in a casual sexy or even slutty way she's more likely to get approached, because her dress is a green light. A woman who dresses like a stuffy ice princess is less likely to.

Edited March 7, 2010 by shadowplay

[phineas]

If a hot woman has her bitch face on, showing attitude & acting like she is inconvenienced by just being out I won't waste my time.

 

If they look like their having a good time i'll approach, strike up a convo.

If she starts looking for an exit or not showing interest i'll move on.

[shadowplay]

It can also be related to beauty type. A girl who has a girl next door, friendly or cute prettiness will probably be approached more often than somebody with a more exotic beauty. I don't mean exotic 'lite' in the colloquial sense (eg dark hair).

 

But this generalization only applies to certain looks and ethnicities. I've noticed attractive Asian and Latin women get a lot of approaches (as opposed to say attractive Indian women), probably because their brand of exotic has more mass appeal and accessibility for whatever reason.

Edited March 7, 2010 by shadowplay

[Kamille]

Most of my friends are pretty but I can think of two who are really really good looking. The answer is yes, these two women get approached often (at least once every time we go out at a bar). They are both "approachable" too: they smile a lot and joke around.

 

These girl are from my hometown. Interestingly, in the city where I live now, I get hit on every time I go out to a bar too. So yes, women, be they extremely hot or just average, do get hit on a lot.

[shadowplay]

Most of my friends are pretty but I can think of two who are really really good looking. The answer is yes, these two women get approached often (at least once every time we go out at a bar). They are both "approachable" too: they smile a lot and joke around.

 

These girl are from my hometown. Interestingly, in the city where I live now, I get hit on every time I go out to a bar too. So yes, women, be they extremely hot or just average, do get hit on a lot.

 

I interpreted the question as whether they get hit on all the time whenever they're out (not just at bars). I think most women who are average or above get approached all the time at bars.

[Els]

Yes, yes, and yes.

[Kamille]

I interpreted the question as whether they get hit on all the time whenever they're out (not just at bars). I think most women who are average or above get approached all the time at bars.

 

Could be. Don'twanna be has a few threads about approaching women in bars, which is likely why I focused on that example. Plus, that is where I saw my friends get hit on. I couldn't speak to how often it happens to them in other occasions.

 

Plus, I find street approaches to usually be a lot more subtle. I'd say that, outside of a bar context, I get a clear signal from a guy about once every month or so. I'm average and usually in a hurry when doing errands - so not as approachable as I would be in a bar.

 

There are those days, however, when it seems like every guy smiles or hits on me - days when I'm in really good mood (because it's sunny or because I'm relaxed). Basically, if I feel like i want male attention, I know how to get it.

Edited March 7, 2010 by Kamille

[ADF]

I happen to have a half-sister who is drop-dead gorgeous. All my life, I've watched men act like utter fools around her. It is shocking.

 

It's not just that guys constantly hit on her at bars and clubs (where I'm rarely with her, anyway). They hit on her in grocery stores, at laundromats, in restaurants, on buses, on the L train (we live Chicago) or even just walking down the street. In the summer, when she's wearing less clothes, guys whistle and shout at her from cars all the time.

 

But some guys are more cautious. If she and I happen to be together, some guys will start by talking to me. They walk over, say I look familiar, ask me if the know my from high school or something, shake my hand, make a little small talk. Then it starts: "Say, is that your girlfriend?" If I say no (and she sometimes has me say "yes," just so guys will leave her alone), they are off like hounds after a fox.

 

It is just amazing to me.

[shadowplay]

I'm weird. Every guy I've dated has been convinced I'm objectively gorgeous (even before we started dating), but I suspect I don't have much widespread appeal. Objectively I'd say I fall somewhere between average and attractive. When men think I'm attractive they seem to think I'm extremely attractive, but otherwise they seem to find me just "OK" (I would assume based on the lack of approaches I get).

 

Aside from in clubs/bars, I almost never get approached. I could probably count on one hand the number of times guys have blatantly flirted with me outside of a night life context in the last two years. I've heard men say that even average women get hit on constantly, but this obviously isn't always the case. When I'm single it's really, really frustrating. Obviously I don't feel comfortable being the pursuer, so it limits my options. Even with my current boyfriend I had to make the first move.

 

I get hit on fairly frequently in bars/clubs, but I don't feel comfortable meeting men in that setting because I assume they're just after sex.

[SadandConfusedWA]

I happen to have a half-sister who is drop-dead gorgeous. All my life, I've watched men act like utter fools around her. It is shocking.

 

It's not just that guys constantly hit on her at bars and clubs (where I'm rarely with her, anyway). They hit on her in grocery stores, at laundromats, in restaurants, on buses, on the L train (we live Chicago) or even just walking down the street. In the summer, when she's wearing less clothes, guys whistle and shout at her from cars all the time.

 

But some guys are more cautious. If she and I happen to be together, some guys will start by talking to me. They walk over, say I look familiar, ask me if the know my from high school or something, shake my hand, make a little small talk. Then it starts: "Say, is that your girlfriend?" If I say no (and she sometimes has me say "yes," just so guys will leave her alone), they are off like hounds after a fox.

 

It is just amazing to me.

 

This is EXACTLY what happens when a girl is very hot.

[Johnny M]

I've heard many conflicting theories on this.

 

1) Beautiful women get approached by lots and lots of guys all the time, so a guy needs to have a solid game in order to stand above the rest and stand a chance of being with her.

 

2) Beautiful women actually do NOT get approached all that often, because most guys are shy and intimidated by her beauty.

 

Which is it?

Well, it obviously depends on the circles one travels in, so to speak. If a woman does not go out to bars/clubs, if she works in a very formal/professional environment, goes to a women only health club, hangs out mostly with couples, etc, then no, she wouldn't be approached all that often even of she was very good looking. Another thing about very attractive women is that they often carry this arrogant demeanor which many men interpret as a "do not bother" signal.

 

However, if the girl is friendly and outgoing and does not consciously or unconsciously exclude herself from situations where she might meet single men, then yes she would be frequently approached.

[carhill]

Another thing about very attractive women is that they often carry this arrogant demeanor which many men interpret as a "do not bother" signal.

 

IME, it's a closed body language and tone of, if I could put physical terms to it, a stiff arm in my chest saying 'stay away'. OK, sure, no problem. Lots of people in the world and I'd rather be my friendly self with someone who values that.

 

Without exception, the beautiful (objectively speaking, as opposed to my personal attraction criteria) women I've encountered who have been friendly and open have been married, usually for a long time. IMO, that makes sense, when one combines their appearance and demeanor.

 

Next time I run into one who has the stiff arm out, I'll be friendly anyway and see what happens....

[sweetjasmine]

IME, it's a closed body language and tone of, if I could put physical terms to it, a stiff arm in my chest saying 'stay away'. OK, sure, no problem.

 

Yup. I'm like that out in public most of the time, with "leave me alone" body language/facial expressions, unless I'm with other people. It's a habit I developed from spending time in Russia where people assume you're either insane or a moron if you smile at a stranger and where the cute guy on the subway might be waiting for you to get distracted so he can slice your bag open with a razor, pick up your sh-t off the floor, and bolt. I really don't like being approached by strangers out in public unless it's in a specific context, like at a bar or restaurant or something like that.

 

The problem with the "leave me alone" body language is that it discourages the more normal people but not the crazies or creeps. I had a middle aged man on the subway offer me candy and then ask the dude sitting next to him, "Aw, ain't she pretty?" lol

 

But if I turn that "go away" attitude off and switch to easy-going friendly mode, people do approach me.

[Pizzaman81]

I am trying to get to know a girl right now that is extremely beautiful. And yes, there is a line of guys waiting for her and she's constantly getting bombarded.

 

I might have been setting myself up for failure with this one, but we'll see how it goes.

[Cinderella7]

I don't know if I agree that beautiful women are CONSTANTLY being approached.

 

I'm an attractive girl and my two best friends are also very good looking girls (one's a model). When the three of us go out to bars/clubs/lounges/etc., we normally get approached at least a few times by different men. However, when we're out together during the day (shopping/lunch/gym), I notice that men will check us out all the time but very, very rarely are we approached just out and about during the day.

 

The same thing happens to me when I'm out alone during the day. It's not uncommon for heads to turn when I walk into Starbucks or the grocery store, but will anyone actually approach me? Very rarely. Same thing for my girlfriends. On the occasion that one of us is approached out & about during the day, it's normally by a guy who is VERY aggressive/a little creepy/doesn't have a chance.

[carhill]

Try something.... by thinking positively about the people surrounding yourself, change your aura to one of friendliness and openness. Just experiment. You can always shut it off if unwanted attention arises. IMO, you are always going to have unwanted attention from aggressive, crude men, who generally haven't a clue about nor care about such matters, but try it with those whom you find attractive and who don't seem to be approaching like you might want. I find, even as a man (women rarely if ever approach me), that this positive thinking and open aura helps when approaching women, if nothing else to assuage some of that stiff arm stuff.