Are beautiful women REALLY approached by men all the time?

[shadowplay]

I am kind of puzzled at women that take this thread personally. There are very few women that are incredibly beautiful and most likely you (or me) are not one of them. While somewhat above average women will get stares, checked out, cat calls and approached in bar/club type of setting; the truly gorgeous ones will literally be stopped on the street, while doing grocery shopping, at work etc. If this does not happen to you, you are simply not incredibly beautiful so accept that as a fact and move forward. (and I am not incredibly beautiful either as this doesn't happen to me).

 

As for intimidation factor and approachability, yes some men will be too shy and intimidated to approach but for every shy guy there will be at least one confident enough to go for it. As for approachability, men can be so blinded by true gorgeousness, that they will have a shot at it anyway.

 

I am talking about top 10 or 5 percentile here.

 

I'm not taking it personally, because I don't consider myself beautiful but I know this isn't always true because my grandmother and mother were legitimately gorgeous (anyone who saw pictures of them would agree) and they were rarely approached in those settings. My grandmother was a model, so she was obviously in the top five or ten percentile, easily.

Edited March 8, 2010 by shadowplay

[SadandConfusedWA]

I'm not taking it personally, because I don't consider myself beautiful but I know this isn't always true because my grandmother and mother were legitimately gorgeous (anyone who saw pictures of them would agree) and they were rarely approached in those settings. My grandmother was a model, so she was obviously in the top five or ten percentile, easily.

 

I didn't mean just you, there were others that seemed to be taking it personally. As for your grandmother, maybe in her time things were different - I dunno.

 

I would just be happy to find a guy that I can love who will think that I am beautiful and I don't care what the rest of the world thinks. I am even happy with somewhat above average looks, I mean things could have been a lot worse

[bac]

Women who display signs of interest or flirt are approuched all the time.

It has a little to do with beauty. Men are afraid of rejection, so they approuch mostly these women.

 

Beauty, confidence, and ability to say 'yes' to every man are different qualities of a girl.

 

If a girl is beautiful, shy and selective, she is not approuched too often by men and she is probably going to reject a man who wants to get her easy and fast.

If a girl is beautiful, confident and not selective, she is approuched a lot by men and she is probably going to accept any man who looks OK on a superficial level.

[Taramere]

Maybe it's because I'm in the UK and men are more reticent here? When I went to the US on holiday I got hit on all the time, in the street and stuff, by guys who hardly even knew me, so maybe it's a cultural thing?

 

I'd agree with that. The difference between men in the UK and men abroad, when it comes to approaching women, is quite intense I think. I've spoken to other women who came here from overseas and were quite offended/disturbed by the lack of interest men took in them whereas they'd been used to getting plenty of attention from men back home. Men here are often shyer than they are elsewhere, and will be more reluctant or awkward about giving women compliments. It's easy to banter with and make friends with them, but romance is far trickier.

 

Men in the Med, and in the US...many times more forward, I think. Less bothered about demonstrating romantic/sexual interest in a woman, as opposed to determinedly keeping everything on a friendly, sexually unthreatening level. I think that assuming a woman is in shape and looks reasonably good, how vulnerable she appears is a big factor in whether she gets hit on. Female travellers are more vulnerable (foreign looking and acting, looking a bit lost, studying a map) and therefore perhaps regarded as easy pickings for predators, or damsels in distress to those of a more heroic disposition.

[JustJoe]

A lot of it is your perception of beauty. I'm a white guy, 28, good-looking, well-built, intelligent, and "gifted". I can usually get any white girl I want. Trouble is, I'm much more attracted to Black Girls than White Girls, and I'm always having trouble getting them to take my advances, seriously. They either think that all I want is sex, or they stereotype, and assume that I'm not as "gifted", as black men are supposedly, or they are just, plain, racist and won't date outside their race, for any reason.

[tincanman99]

I'd agree with that. The difference between men in the UK and men abroad, when it comes to approaching women, is quite intense I think. I've spoken to other women who came here from overseas and were quite offended/disturbed by the lack of interest men took in them whereas they'd been used to getting plenty of attention from men back home. Men here are often shyer than they are elsewhere, and will be more reluctant or awkward about giving women compliments. It's easy to banter with and make friends with them, but romance is far trickier.

 

Men in the Med, and in the US...many times more forward, I think. Less bothered about demonstrating romantic/sexual interest in a woman, as opposed to determinedly keeping everything on a friendly, sexually unthreatening level. I think that assuming a woman is in shape and looks reasonably good, how vulnerable she appears is a big factor in whether she gets hit on. Female travellers are more vulnerable (foreign looking and acting, looking a bit lost, studying a map) and therefore perhaps regarded as easy pickings for predators, or damsels in distress to those of a more heroic disposition.

 

Its funny that you mention this because American women say the same thing about men here in the US. I have many women friends who are attractive and complain all the time about the men not hitting on them. They may talk to them, etc... but thats as far as it goes. They also complain about the lack of romance, compliments or wooing. Frankly until it was pointed out to me I never really thought about it but it seems to be true for the most part.

 

Now when I lived in Italy the men have a well earned reputation for being dogs. Italian men are notorious for it. They sweet talk the woman and will do and say all kinds of things that if Americans had to do it they would balk.

 

But this I can say from observations, a woman if she wants a guy all she has to do is be friendly and smile. Women that dont have a guy its usually a direct result of their body language and attitude. Men are timid and will not approach a woman who is cold and has her shield up.

 

Think about it rationally - why would I talk to you if you dont want to be spoken too?

 

The women are not friendly so I totally ignore them. Literally, like they are not there. You dont want to be friendly than dont be, thats your choice. But I am not going to knock myself out with you when its quite obvious from your attitude, facial expression or body language you want nothing to do with anyone. I see this women at my gym. I ignore them like they arent there and look right through them. I dont check them out, stare at their bodies or anything. Than it has the opposite affect, now they are all saying hi to me for no reason - go figure.

[JustJoe]

My dream is to meet an attractive , intelligent , black woman, with an open mind.

[Star Gazer]

I'm weird. Every guy I've dated has been convinced I'm objectively gorgeous (even before we started dating), but I suspect I don't have much widespread appeal.

 

How is that weird? I would hope that the guys you've dated (and that any woman has dated ) would think they're objectively gorgeous, and tell their woman this. I don't think it's weird at all.

[shadowplay]

How is that weird? I would hope that the guys you've dated (and that any woman has dated ) would think they're objectively gorgeous, and tell their woman this. I don't think it's weird at all.

 

So would I, but based on how we've seen some men describe their SOs on LS this isn't always the case.

[SarahRose]

This is EXACTLY what happens when a girl is very hot.

 

You left out the leering weirdos who don't approach but just sit there and leer uncontrollably.

 

It is like they can't control themselves or something. Then the ones who have girlfriend or wife with them leer so much, their SO notices and smacks them or tells them to stop looking.

 

Happens every day. All day every day.

 

It gets annoying.

[Kamille]

or they are just, plain, racist and won't date outside their race, for any reason.

 

How is it racist for them to have a preference when it comes to which race they prefer to date, but not racist for you to prefer to date black women?

 

Either nobody in the above scenario is racist, and they all have only preferences, or everybody is, to some extent, exercising a form of racism by having these preferences.

[JustJoe]

There is a difference between preferences and rejection of a person based solely upon racial grounds. I am attracted by Black women, but would and have,dated any race if there was a connection.

[Orchid8]

IMHO, #2. Guys tend to just glance over but never approach. Maybe it's because they automatically assume that I have a boyfriend?? I don't know..I just know that I hardly get approached but when I do, it's usually by the overly confident average Joes, which tend to be a turnoff.

[lucy9216]

I think it is a bit of both. I have gone out several times and never get approached at all, but then occasionally I will get hit on by a really hot guy and they say how hot I am and blah blah blah. But now that I think about it, the majority of times that I do get hit on I believe it has been when I am in a better mood and more sociable.

 

I actually don't think it has a whole lot to do with looks but more on the persons personality and what they're expectations are of who is hitting on them. What I mean is some women will be impressed if a guy talks about how much money he makes while another would be more impressed by his down to earth personality. While both women could be very attractive.

[C-i-C-u]

IMHO, #2. Guys tend to just glance over but never approach. Maybe it's because they automatically assume that I have a boyfriend?? I don't know..I just know that I hardly get approached but when I do, it's usually by the overly confident average Joes, which tend to be a turnoff.

Do you or do you not have a boyfriend?

[shadowplay]

IMHO, #2. Guys tend to just glance over but never approach. Maybe it's because they automatically assume that I have a boyfriend?? I don't know..I just know that I hardly get approached but when I do, it's usually by the overly confident average Joes, which tend to be a turnoff.

 

Based on your icon, you're gorgeous.

[marsle85]

It's weird... when I go out with the mindset, "Ok! Let's try to meet someone sort of nice"- I meet no one. When I go out like "screw everyone, I'm having fun with my girls!" I get tons of attention. I don't act slutty in either condition...but I think the confidence is interpreted differently.

[Orchid8]

Do you or do you not have a boyfriend?

 

I do not. I guess I need to type more or it won't post (weird).

[Orchid8]

Based on your icon, you're gorgeous.

 

Thank you!

[Crazy Magnet]

Hmmm.....I dunno. I would say I'm fairly decent looking. I think I've gotten prettier as I've gotten older.

 

I've been approached in random places before. In my 6 months of dating around this past year I probably accepted dates from 25 or so guys. I turned down a lot more. There are lots of guys who stare constantly, but I never notice it unless the person I'm with points it out. I tend to live in a bubble.

 

I also think I'm very approachable though. I don't give off any "I will cute you" vibes. I'm always laid back and smiling, cutting up and having an overall good time. I think attitude has more to do with it than anything else. I've got a great attitude, so I get approached and asked out all the time. I rarely meet a man who doesn't ask for a date. In fact, I can't remember the last time I did.

[lofi_tokyo]

I've heard many conflicting theories on this.

 

1) Beautiful women get approached by lots and lots of guys all the time, so a guy needs to have a solid game in order to stand above the rest and stand a chance of being with her.

 

2) Beautiful women actually do NOT get approached all that often, because most guys are shy and intimidated by her beauty.

 

Which is it?

 

I haven't read any of the other replies, but here is my two cents:

 

My close female friends are all very beautiful and I'd say they get approached at bars/clubs/other places like that ALL THE TIME. However, in other social areas - like at recreational sporting events, or at school, it seems they are approached less.

 

I think part of it has to do with clubs having a culture where hitting on people is okay - who cares, you're out to party? Meanwhile, while studying on campus, or listening to a lecture, there is less of a "talk to the hot chick" culture.

 

My friends complain about this a lot - they can't understand why they only get guys at the bar approaching them, when "quality" guys on campus never approach them.

[C-i-C-u]

I do not. I guess I need to type more or it won't post (weird).

Now I can understand why you are single:mad:

[carhill]

I do not. I guess I need to type more or it won't post (weird).

Yup, pesky LS protocol requires ten characters. Periods work fine

 

Topically, if I perceive a woman is attached, it comes from two distinct places, both based in life experience. First, overwhelmingly, every woman I've encountered in life, even women who might say they are 'single', are with someone, whether they're dating, LTR or married. I've experienced this enough (even a married woman appearing single in demeanor and appearance <no rings>) for it to affect my perception. Secondly, IME, attached women are more 'friendly' simply because they know contact isn't going anywhere, as well as because their friendly demeanor is part of why they're attached. So, it's kinda Catch22.... the distant and 'unfriendly' women turn me off, so I don't approach them and I know from experience the friendly ones are likely attached, so I ratchet down expectations or don't approach.

 

The men who don't care about any of the above and just want sex are likely your best bet. My only advice, at least to women my own age is, if you're single, be more friendly and open.

[wierdmunky]

I have no idea. I think sometimes it's just coincidence. Even bad hair days on natural beauties can make them look different from the day before, and I've been given numbers while driving, to rolling out of bed, and errand running. I don't see how you can tell much about a persons persona while driving, and bed-head isn't exactly hot either.

[AD1980]

it's usually by the overly confident average Joes, which tend to be a turnoff.

 

Which is why i dont approach women..