Author Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted March 11, 2010 Author Share Posted March 11, 2010 I haven't read any of the other replies, but here is my two cents: My close female friends are all very beautiful and I'd say they get approached at bars/clubs/other places like that ALL THE TIME. However, in other social areas - like at recreational sporting events, or at school, it seems they are approached less. I think part of it has to do with clubs having a culture where hitting on people is okay - who cares, you're out to party? Meanwhile, while studying on campus, or listening to a lecture, there is less of a "talk to the hot chick" culture. My friends complain about this a lot - they can't understand why they only get guys at the bar approaching them, when "quality" guys on campus never approach them. Do you think they or girls would be less hostile and more open to guys coming up to chat them up during the day time? Because I've been attending free college lectures (I already graduated, but the lectures are open to the public. I've been dropping in on the graduate level courses to see what I'm in for when I register) but some people HERE suggested about trying to talk to girls on campus:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I rarely meet a man who doesn't ask for a date. In fact, I can't remember the last time I did. I'm not sure what you mean by this but it seems a bit implausible given that many men are taken. Also I find it hard to believe that every Joe you run into at a cash register or on the street asks you out. Link to post Share on other sites
JustJoe Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I've no problem approaching any woman, beautiful or not. What are they going to do , bite me? What I won't do, is settle for an air-headed blonde, Pamela Anderson clone. A woman has to have character for me to be interested. Women like Tokyovogue and TigressA, I would approach as fast as my size 12"s could get me there.:D Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Crazy Magnet, I would LOVE to see your photo. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I'm not sure what you mean by this but it seems a bit implausible given that many men are taken. Also I find it hard to believe that every Joe you run into at a cash register or on the street asks you out. I didn't say everyone who passes me on the street stops and wants a date. I didn't say taken guys either. What I meant was, in a social situation, be it over dinner, at a friend's house, meet up group, work, etc, where ever you want to stick me, whenever I am introduced or I introduce myself to a guy, if they are single, I get asked out on a date. Guys tend to ask my female friends to set them up with me all the time. I've had guys track me down in the internet to ask me on a date, beg for my number from mutual friends, offer to drive 15 hours for dinner. Is it normal? Probably not. Am I the hottest thing ever? Heck no. Do I have a great attitude about life and come off as optimistic and approachable. You bet. When I am "dating" it is very easy for me to set up 3 or 4 dates a week. Though, that got old really fast and it doesn't really reflect who I am. Dating around is not my thing, and I prefer committed, monogamous relationships, like I am in now. If it ends, I can't say I'll ever attempt to multi date again. When I do accept a date, I think I've only had one guy not want a second date ever in my life, but he wanted to hang out as friends. Second dates always turn into third dates. I have no idea why I am such a good date, but apparently I am. I still think it's my great attitude and not all my looks. Yes, dating is actually that easy for me. Until I found LS I was actually so naive as to think everybody had it that easy, now I realize that's not the case. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I agree with SadandConfused, we NEED to see a pic. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsy_nicky Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 yes pics please!! If this thread is referring to the extremely attractive-9/10's from my experience yes they are approached frequently. From observation the approach is not a full come on but an underhanded one. The men usually approach in a friendly/cautious way so as not to elicit the b*tch shield. There was one time when this really attractive 9 in one of my classes was approached by several guys (not at the same time). Then you'd start seeing them one by one distancing themselves from her. She was in no way a b*tch. I think they were rejected in a rather subtle way. Link to post Share on other sites
crosswordfiend Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I am also curious about pictures, but mostly because I think that approachability and overall attractiveness are not highly related constructs. It's the success rate here that is shocking. One would think that after dating so many guys there would be at least one that she would like. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyBoop Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 On the contrary, I have a female friend that is considerably overweight and she hasn't had a boyfriend since 2002. That has nothing to do with her weight. My female friend is overweight but she is DAILY approached by men who fancy her. It's because she has a pretty face and dresses really good for her bodytype. Top on that she has an outgoing and smiling personality... I am skinny but less smiley and I only get hit on by weirdos. The exes I've had always thought I was out of their league so in real life they'd never hit on me - met them all over internet. The current one approached me because I gave him a casual compliment at work and smiled. He thought he had a chance and approached me because of it. I think a girl's attitude has a lot to do with it as well. If the girl seems friendly and open-minded guys would probably more likely feel they had a chance with her and approach her... Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 yes pics please!! If this thread is referring to the extremely attractive-9/10's from my experience yes they are approached frequently. From observation the approach is not a full come on but an underhanded one. The men usually approach in a friendly/cautious way so as not to elicit the b*tch shield. There was one time when this really attractive 9 in one of my classes was approached by several guys (not at the same time). Then you'd start seeing them one by one distancing themselves from her. She was in no way a b*tch. I think they were rejected in a rather subtle way. You bring up a good point. Men might not go up to them and say "hey wanna go out?" (at least not right away) but they will start initiating conversation and generally going out of their way to be funny and/or helpful. I have had periods in my life when I have looked better and worse (it usually depends on my weight and length of my hair) and the way men treated me was very different. Even random strangers opening and holding doors for me or say when I was traveling alone, offering to carry my lugagge some of the way etc.. Male cashiers, bank tellers, doctors, dentists... are WAY more polite to girls they perceive as very attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I am also curious about pictures, but mostly because I think that approachability and overall attractiveness are not highly related constructs. It's the success rate here that is shocking. One would think that after dating so many guys there would be at least one that she would like. There is. As I understand her last few posts, Crazy Magnet is currently in a serious relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 (edited) I'm wondering about the more subtle approaches too now. Every guy I've dated has revealed to me that he tried to make an approach early on but felt that I snubbed him. I remember all the instances, but at the time I thought they were just being friendly. I didn't realize they were showing interest. This, combined with the fact that the guys I date tend to be ones I selected (rather than them making an overt approach and doing the selection), makes me wonder if a number of guys have been interested but I just was too dense to realize they were showing it. Edited March 11, 2010 by shadowplay Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 There is. As I understand her last few posts, Crazy Magnet is currently in a serious relationship. Yep. I am in a committed relationship now. Dating around/multi dating was a totally new thing for me. I've always been asked out a lot in the past, but for the most part I've been in a committed relationship, so I've always declined. (Well, obviously I'm declining other men if I've got a bf.) I wanted to try it because I had never done it and I imposed a self ban on boyfriends until I turned 30 to make myself get out there and see what the world really had to offer. My ban took a nose dive within about 3 seconds of meeting my current BF. "It" was totally there, and I wasn't letting "it" get away. The way things worked for me in the past was 1.) Decide I want Dude A to be my boyfriend b/c I like him/have a crush on him. 2.) Go say hello to Dude A. 3.) Dude always wants to be my boyfriend. 4.) Date for a couple of years. 5.) Relationship ends. 6.) Decide I want Dude B to be my boyfriend b/c I have a crush on him. 7.) Go say hello to Dude B...etc. I have always gotten the guy I wanted. Strange, but true, though I still maintain it's my attitude. When I end up single, word must travel fast, b/c I've usually got 4 or 5 guys calling me within two or three weeks. That's just always been the way it is with me. It's sort of a double edged sword though. While I get lots of dates, I've never been able to have a real male friend b/c they always end up confessing they are in love with me or as soon as I'm single confess they've always wanted more etc. Nobody in my 30 years has only wanted friendship, ever. It sort of sucks b/c I would like a guy friend but I've given up at this point. This in no way implies that the men I pick are somehow all fantastic guys. Although most of my boyfriends have been great, I married the biggest asshat on the planet and the rebound out of my marriage was also horribly awful. Thank god that's over with and I'm back to dating nice normal men. I'm not posting my pic for all the forum to see, but if there's a way to make a list of people who can see the pics I'd be willing to do that and post one of me and my BF. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I've heard many conflicting theories on this. 1) Beautiful women get approached by lots and lots of guys all the time, so a guy needs to have a solid game in order to stand above the rest and stand a chance of being with her. 2) Beautiful women actually do NOT get approached all that often, because most guys are shy and intimidated by her beauty. Which is it? I think it all depends on how confident the guy is. If he is fully confident within himself, then he should not be intimidated by a womans beauty. I have run into a mix with this since many men consider me to be a beautiful woman. Some have approached with NO resistance.. and others have declined..perhaps my pretty face scared them away. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I'm wondering about the more subtle approaches too now. Every guy I've dated has revealed to me that he tried to make an approach early on but felt that I snubbed him. I remember all the instances, but at the time I thought they were just being friendly. I didn't realize they were showing interest. This, combined with the fact that the guys I date tend to be ones I selected (rather than them making an overt approach and doing the selection), makes me wonder if a number of guys have been interested but I just was too dense to realize they were showing it. You'd probably be amazed at how many guys move from that subtle approach to "hey let's go on a date" by just being friendly and approachable. You'd probably be shocked. I'm 99.9% sure it's why I get asked out so much. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I'm not posting my pic for all the forum to see, but if there's a way to make a list of people who can see the pics I'd be willing to do that and post one of me and my BF. Sure, no problem. Click on albums in your control panel. Create a new photo album. When you describe and title the album, there should be radio buttons allowing you to select the parameters of who views the albums. Mine are set to 'public'. The choices are: Album Type: Public Private - Only visible to contacts and moderators Profile - Pictures used to modify your profile style Set to 'private', then go to your contacts control panel and create a list of users who you wish to see the album. They and moderators will then be the only ones who can. You can alter the contact list at any time. Have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
crosswordfiend Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 You'd probably be amazed at how many guys move from that subtle approach to "hey let's go on a date" by just being friendly and approachable. You'd probably be shocked. I'm 99.9% sure it's why I get asked out so much. My guess is that you probably (i) look back at guys when they are talking to you and (ii) show interest by asking the guys question about themselves. That's all it would take for me to transition from the subtle approach to let's go on a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 My guess is that you probably (i) look back at guys when they are talking to you and (ii) show interest by asking the guys question about themselves. That's all it would take for me to transition from the subtle approach to let's go on a date. I am a Southern girl, I treat everyone like that when I am talking to them. It's why I keep saying that sure I'm probably cute, but my success comes from being approachable, not smoking hot. #1 rule of meeting people=they will like you if you let them talk about themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 For those who wanted to see, there is a pic. It's me on a normal day, jeans and cords, not all made up or anything. If anyone else wanted to see please send me a PM. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 For those who wanted to see, there is a pic. It's me on a normal day, jeans and cords, not all made up or anything. If anyone else wanted to see please send me a PM. Thanks, you're very pretty! Link to post Share on other sites
gypsy_nicky Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 can I see the pic? .... Link to post Share on other sites
gypsy_nicky Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 they will start initiating conversation and generally going out of their way to be funny and/or helpful. I have had periods in my life when I have looked better and worse (it usually depends on my weight and length of my hair) and the way men treated me was very different. Even random strangers opening and holding doors for me or say when I was traveling alone, offering to carry my lugagge some of the way etc.. Male cashiers, bank tellers, doctors, dentists... are WAY more polite to girls they perceive as very attractive. This is very true. I love the being funny and polite bit (they're usually trying very hard lol). If you stand back as a dude you can see the guys are actually flirting and trying to suss out interest in the girl. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Thanks CM, very pretty indeed. And your BF is a cutie Link to post Share on other sites
zicke Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 is FORGETTING that there is a MAJOR difference between "pretty" and "beautiful"...a huge diffeerence. Most women can be "classified" as pretty. Most. But, to be truly "beautiful", that's, well, just on a different level. Another thing, beauty is so subjective. I've been called "beautiful" by many people. And other people think I'm "meh". It is what it is. Eye of the beholder thing. There is no formula for "beauty", but, I will say, when you see it, you WILL know it. Pretty is as pretty does. Water seeks its own level and all. So, quit it already. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 (edited) is FORGETTING that there is a MAJOR difference between "pretty" and "beautiful"...a huge diffeerence. Most women can be "classified" as pretty. Most. But, to be truly "beautiful", that's, well, just on a different level. Another thing, beauty is so subjective. I've been called "beautiful" by many people. And other people think I'm "meh". It is what it is. Eye of the beholder thing. There is no formula for "beauty", but, I will say, when you see it, you WILL know it. Pretty is as pretty does. Water seeks its own level and all. So, quit it already. I disagree with this. Let me add the caveat that I realize this is only my personal opinion and there are people who have more flexible and more rigid views of beauty than I do. It's hard to quantify but if I had to take a rough guess I'd say only 10% of young women are what I consider legit pretty. In a class of twenty girls, there are usually about two that I find pretty. "Attractive" is more inclusive and covers about 20%-30% of young women I see. "Beautiful," as I define it, is rare, but when you see it, it hits you over the head. It accounts for maybe 2% of young women at most. To me beautiful means attractive enough to be an actress or model (depending on body type). There are a lot of girls who you can tell would be pretty if they lost weight. So if all young women were in shape those numbers would be significantly higher. Edited March 12, 2010 by shadowplay Link to post Share on other sites
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