tyuana Posted June 30, 2000 Share Posted June 30, 2000 me and my man have been together for 2 1/2 years. we live together and have a child. lately we've been fightnig constantly mainly because he doesn't agree with the way I do things or he says I do things ti irratate him. most of the time we aren't even talking too each other. I love him and want to be with him but there is getting to be too much tension. I don't know if I can take much more. what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Linnéa Posted June 30, 2000 Share Posted June 30, 2000 Hi Tyuana! I can say one thing; Do you love him? Tell him to sit down and talk about it! Or else.. You said that you and this guy has been together for 2 1/2 years, and you and this guy fight sometimes..I think you and he needs to be alone for a while, what are you saying to irritate him?Is it a big deal or just like ;you haven't clean up in the kitchen! Tell him that you need a little time alone, to think about some stuff..I hope he will understand.. I hope you will do the right thing! /Linnéa me and my man have been together for 2 1/2 years. we live together and have a child. lately we've been fightnig constantly mainly because he doesn't agree with the way I do things or he says I do things ti irratate him. most of the time we aren't even talking too each other. I love him and want to be with him but there is getting to be too much tension. I don't know if I can take much more. what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Randy Posted July 1, 2000 Share Posted July 1, 2000 The following is my take on this based on your post and speculation but here goes: When people come from highly dysfunctional families where there is lots of anger and control and very little expression of love, they very often act like your guy. They are pretty nice at first but then resort to this kind of behavior. They often respond to stress and responsiblity with anger as well. This has nothing to do with you. It is anger suppressed from his childhood, most likely at one or both of his parents, now aimed at you. My bet is that one or both of them had serious anger and/or alcohol (drinking) problems. He is displacing that anger onto you and everyone else he is able to. I know it is painful for you and the reasons don't make it any better. The only way he can change is with a lot of counselling by a therapist who is outstanding and highly competent in dealing with adults from screwed up families. If you go to a bookstore, pick up a book on dysfunctional families. Look in the index under "anger" and read those pages. Take a seat and read the whole book if you have time. This will give you some insight. I unconditionally guarantee you that if you left this man he would fall completely apart. This is because he sustained intense emotional abandonment as a child. Ask him about what I have said, discuss his past and his relationship with his parents, ask him what his family life was like, and post back here and let us know if I got this one close. Likely there was very little communication in his family when he was young so it may take a while to get him to open up. I wish I could give you a better prognosis. Maybe others here will be able to. Link to post Share on other sites
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