twinkle Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 Hi everyone, I'm the 16 year old girl who wrote the post (My boyfriend beat on me), and I would like to think all the people who gave me good advice. Word can't expressed how I feel right now. THANKYOU,THANKYOU,THANKYOU. I you guys is dying to know what happen. So to make the long story short I had gotten back with, like a dumb ass, please don't be mad. Anyway we got back together and he promise me that he wouldn't hit me again, which was a because one day he hit me so hard that I black out for a few minutes. So I got tired of him and i knew he wasn't going to change, I called the police and my parents and now he is in jail. My mom suggested that I should go to couseling but I don't know if I should. I could not have done it with you guys thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
rc2003 Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 Hey, I know how hard that can be. First hand. I was 19 when my b/f pushed my head into a toilet. It hurt so bad and it was all because I didn't return a page. This was 6 years ago. We didn't break up until I was 21 because he couldn't stand that I wanted to go out and meet new people. Guys have dumb reasons for doing this and I was a sucker for a long time. It is very scary to have gone through it, but at the time it felt so normal and I didn't even want to leave him because I really think now that I am older that I was controlled by him. We seperated permanently after I turned 21 but we had our fair share of break ups and make ups which kept the relationship very dramatic. Hopefully you find some peace and love in your next relationship. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship like this can not be mad at you. It takes several attempts and words from outsiders to finally realize that the relationship would not have worked out. Just try and stand ground to never go back to him. My old b/f was verbally abusive at times too and made me feel like I couldn't find anyone else. Not sure if that is the case with you, but trust me, there are so many single guys who would never consider hitting a girl an option. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
InLoKo Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 Well done for having the courage to take the action you did. It's a difficult thing to do and thank god you accepted your parent's help to do the right thing. I suggest that you do go to counselling. It will help to heal the trauma you have been through and it will also explore any reasons you may have for being with a guy like that in the first place and ensure you never choose anyone like that again. You may think that you wouldn't choose a man like that again, but believe me, I have dealt with many, many women who's pattern is to (sub-consciously) select the same type of man time and again. It becomes a dreadful pattern that they find themselves trapped in. People think that the abuser is the only one who needs help, but that simply isn't the case. Also, be prepared for when your ex is released. He "may" decide to contact you again. Make sure you don't weaken to him WHEN (not if) he tells you he has changed. Don't under-estimate the power he may still have over you. Please - accept the counselling. Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 Well done Twinkle! Excellent that you untangled yourself. Please also listen to InLoKo and accept your parent's suggestion of counseling. You're young and can absolutely set new patterns and standards for yourself but it might take some outside help. Do this last thing so you're good, strong and emotionally independent when your ex gets out. Be happy, R. Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 [font=arial]Originally posted by InLoKo Well done for having the courage to take the action you did. It's a difficult thing to do and thank god you accepted your parent's help to do the right thing. I suggest that you do go to counselling. It will help to heal the trauma you have been through and it will also explore any reasons you may have for being with a guy like that in the first place and ensure you never choose anyone like that again. You may think that you wouldn't choose a man like that again, but believe me, I have dealt with many, many women who's pattern is to (sub-consciously) select the same type of man time and again. It becomes a dreadful pattern that they find themselves trapped in. People think that the abuser is the only one who needs help, but that simply isn't the case. Also, be prepared for when your ex is released. He "may" decide to contact you again. Make sure you don't weaken to him WHEN (not if) he tells you he has changed. Don't under-estimate the power he may still have over you. Please - accept the counselling. [/font] [color=blue] I second this! Congrats to you on breaking this cycle -- you are doing exactly the right thing. If my daughter were ever to find herself in such a situation I would hope that she would have your strength and do the right thing too. Please do go to counseling. It's nothing to be afraid of. A good counselor or therapist will help you to feel better by helping you to see and understand yourself and you will feel so much more confident about your decisions. [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 I remember your post and am SOOO proud of you Twinkle! Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 I remember your thread! Good girl -- ~V Link to post Share on other sites
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