Sam_I_Am Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 This is my rant...feel free to comment.... So I know I said I was gonna stop this FWB relationship before someone got hurt. I know I do not want to be in a FWB relationship that lasts for years, I couldn't imagine feeling like this for years about someone....I just can't stop it! I don't want to. I'm so scared of being alone that I put up with everything that he's done and I deny what I feel to his face. The only light I see is that he's moving to another state. I wish he'd just move already so I can move on. I deserve to be with someone who wants more from me than a FWB relationship. I deserve to be with someone who won't use me to cheat on his girlfriend. I deserve to be with someone who doesn't feel the need to keep me as a secret behind closed doors....I know all of this, but he has some kind of hold on me that I can't explain. It all feels like so much more when we are together, and I don't mean just the sex, but it can't be, he has a girlfriend. He didn't have her when we first started, but he has one now and I feel like crap because I know this. Why does he feel the need to be so honest with me about everything....I know way too much, any normal girl would leave him where he stands, but yet, I feel like there's more. I'm just exhausted..... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 He probably was thinking eventually you'd say NO, you have a girlfriend, so no more sex. Sadly, you've keep that door open and he is having his cake and eating it too. I do hope you gain strength, self confidence to break this cycle. Even if he moves away, when he comes back to visit friend/family, YOU have to be strong to stay away from him in the future too.. You DO need to be on your own. It'll be hard, but it's something that will help you grow as a person and become stronger, wiser and you'll learn to raise the bars, and not allow men to treat you like crap, to use you. You won't be alone-alone. YOu have friends and family who can spend time with you. You don't need a man to complete you! Link to post Share on other sites
Fouts Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 The hold he has on you is usually just someone taking advantage of someone else's low self esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sam_I_Am Posted March 8, 2010 Author Share Posted March 8, 2010 He probably was thinking eventually you'd say NO, you have a girlfriend, so no more sex. Sadly, you've keep that door open and he is having his cake and eating it too. I do hope you gain strength, self confidence to break this cycle. Even if he moves away, when he comes back to visit friend/family, YOU have to be strong to stay away from him in the future too.. You DO need to be on your own. It'll be hard, but it's something that will help you grow as a person and become stronger, wiser and you'll learn to raise the bars, and not allow men to treat you like crap, to use you. You won't be alone-alone. YOu have friends and family who can spend time with you. You don't need a man to complete you! I will NOT be seeing him after he moves....I have decided that and already have the kiss off speech ready. With him living so close to me now....Let me try to put this in perspective. It's like having cookies in the pantry, you know they are there, you pass them everyday, they are SO BAD for you, but yet so good. If they were to "move" to the store, you wouldn't pass them everyday, nor would you miss them, out of sight out of mind. I guess this is how I see it. When he moves, I won't see those darn cookies anymore. I will get there.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sam_I_Am Posted March 8, 2010 Author Share Posted March 8, 2010 The hold he has on you is usually just someone taking advantage of someone else's low self esteem. You are probably right.... I love this site, I love the dose of reality.... Link to post Share on other sites
Fouts Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 I'm sure everyone on this site has cruised through the low self esteem valley a time or two. The key is you recognizing it, acting on it and pulling yourself up to where you should be and with people you should be with Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sam_I_Am Posted March 8, 2010 Author Share Posted March 8, 2010 I'm sure everyone on this site has cruised through the low self esteem valley a time or two. The key is you recognizing it, acting on it and pulling yourself up to where you should be and with people you should be with It just sucks to be in that valley.... Link to post Share on other sites
Fouts Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 It just sucks to be in that valley.... Ya, but the good thing is, it's just a state of mind. You know the reality is better, unfortunately you're just allowing it to happen to yourself. Things will improve when you let them. Link to post Share on other sites
dg2003 Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 Its weird because I just posted a similar thread. I am going through almost the exact same thing. And it is so exhausting. But it seems like ending it is easier said than done right? Its like you tell yourself you deserve better and you know that you do, but letting him go is a different story. I honestly dream about this guy every night. And the times that I actually manage to stop talking to him for a couple weeks the dreams are more intense. I really wish I could help you, but maybe we can help each other. Because it is such a tough situation to go through, one of the worst ones Ive ever gone through and I dont know how to get out. Link to post Share on other sites
dg2003 Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 I read your reply to my post and this is just too weird because this guy actually got a girl pregnant not too long ago and wants nothing to do with the baby. And it is so awful because a couple days ago I was so ready to be done with him and now I want to see him sooo bad. This is ridiculous. I have never been so wrapped on a guy that doesn't give a sh** and I don't know how to stop. Like you said you make the decision right now to keep doing what your doing, that's how I feel today. I was just thinking earlier "Well maybe I can just deal with it the way it is" almost like I would rather have him in my life a little than not at all. Do you have that feeling? I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to stop this road to disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Put this in your memory bank : He didn't want you enough to be his girlfriend and he found a girl during your sexxing that he DOES want for a girlfriend.....He sounds lower than low. Can you see this ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sam_I_Am Posted April 25, 2010 Author Share Posted April 25, 2010 I read your reply to my post and this is just too weird because this guy actually got a girl pregnant not too long ago and wants nothing to do with the baby. And it is so awful because a couple days ago I was so ready to be done with him and now I want to see him sooo bad. This is ridiculous. I have never been so wrapped on a guy that doesn't give a sh** and I don't know how to stop. Like you said you make the decision right now to keep doing what your doing, that's how I feel today. I was just thinking earlier "Well maybe I can just deal with it the way it is" almost like I would rather have him in my life a little than not at all. Do you have that feeling? I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to stop this road to disaster. I swear some guys don't know how to think with anything other than their weiners (I said SOME guys) and mine is no exception. Believe you me, I am taking every precaution not to become just another girl he knocks up. I think it is sad when two people end up getting pregnant (yes, I said two people, it takes both a guy and a girl) and the guy wants nothing to do with it. You will go through the wanting nothing to do with him and then wanting to be near him the whole time you do this FWB dance. I still go through it, but I recognize it (at least I do now) for what it is. They give you this tremendous high when you are together and then you come crashing right back down because you realize that it was nothing more than a lay for him. It's the fact that he doesn't give a sh*t that makes you want him even more. Its a fact of life that humans want what they cannot have. Yeah, I guess I do have that feeling (wanting to have him in my life a little than not at all), but not near as much as I did. In the beginning of our FWB relationship, I saw myself with this guy and wanted to do anything just to make him see what type of girl I really was: his type. I wanted him to want me back the way I wanted him. When I found out about the girl he got pregnant (which I didn't find out about it through him) it was like a switch went off in my head. He didn't give a sh*t about me, it was all about his weiner. What's crazy is that it didn't take me knowing about him going back to his GF to make me get it, it was the random chick on the other side. Let's just say that now I just get what I need from him and leave. No calling, no small talk, no none of that. Strictly business so to speak. Honestly, I think a FWB relationship is only successful if it is kept at the FB level. You progress into anything more, it is then a "road to disaster." Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 OP one of my friends had something similar to you. She met him from Craigs List and they ended up in bed rather quickly. It seemed to me all sex but she really liked him. Then came the ex gf who was calling him and texting him. He used my friend as a Rebound because he kept going back to the ex. In the end he got her ( the ex ) pregnant. He just wanted to use my friend to freak out the ex. Then Wallah ! He is back with the ex and their new baby... Sickening.. Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 Well, I can see that you both like the ultimate challenge. Wait, there is one tougher challenge--to shag a gay guy. However, it appears you are losing the battles, and not going to win the war either...I think you don't like to have to admit to yourself that you lost the challenge. You just can't win and you don't like it. Link to post Share on other sites
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