housemate situation..

[bolase]

I would really love some advice. My last relationship of 2 years ended in August and I've been single since..

 

I began hanging out and flirting with a new workmate this year, who I always thought was cute but never thought i would hook up with as he's 8 years older, and was with a casual girlfriend. They broke up and a few weeks later round at my house we started kissing, he didn't push anything and I stopped it. the next day I freaked out a little and told him we should leave it at that, as he was looking for a place to live and regularly crashing a ours - i thought it was way too awkward for our other housemates and work colleagues if we hooked up..etc..

 

Anyway, fast forward 2 months, he has ended up living with us since we had to find someone at short notice, and we all get along like a house of fire. This guy and I are really close now, we talk about everything, go on fun little adventures, talk on my bed for hours.

 

We've also hooked up twice more just kissing and some stroking but lots of tension, our hosuemates doesn't know anything about our last 2 times crossing the line, just the first one! Us 2 always talk about it though, and he agrees with me that its a nice idea and he says we'd be a good match and have good sex, but still a bad idea though im really attracted to him and vice versa so its hard. Especially as neither of us want a relationship. If either of us are interested in other people it coud get awkward, since we live/work together it would have to be all or nothing, therefore nothing, and w've talked about this.. but he still wants me and makes it subtly known.

 

He is usually lovely and respectful, does things like driving me to the airport at 5am, left me a treasure hunt when he went away to find some treats, but I KNOW to he's just a cruising 30 something and will never want more. I dont want a relationship but don't really want to be the casual girl he tells other girls about either, so I'm holding out. We still flirt though and are a bit naughty. I know that if I went for him, we wouldn't tell me to back off even though he's meant to be older, wiser and know that this is a terrible (but hot) idea!! He has started texting me more and being sweeter lately, even admitting when he's been down and I don't know if that means he's starting to get attached...we both have our share of other people after us too but jealousy has never reared its head; it is what it is right now.

 

Thats in brief...but here is the interesting part. I really find his friend who lives in another town really attractive (vice versa) and we are going there next week. I really want to make a move on his friend, who no doubt knows all the above, but don't know whether a) he woudn't go for it knowng whats happened with my housemate and I and b) I'd make my housemate sad, even though he and I have said we can see whoever we are interested in, i mean it is his good friend, though theyre older and more cruisy about life. I guess it would kill any future thing with housemate, which would be a positive thing. My housemate has said as much, that everyone will be coupled but him, but I dont know how he really feels as he was sorta joking sad..

 

Advice??? I'm so frustrated..in many ways..and I want to do the right thing.

Edited March 8, 2010 by bolase