ugh! complicated situation!

[heyfool]

Man oh man I caught myself a complicated one! Mixed signals galore! I don’t even know where to begin. I could write a novel about this girl. But I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.

 

I am mainly looking for a female point of view but anyone is welcomed to respond with their thoughts.

 

As far as the situation goes.. I recently met up with a girl I have been talking on and off for quite sometime online. To me it seemed like we got along quite well. And to be honest the way she acted around me seemed to support my conclusion. I ended up spending the night at her place. She’s the one that offered! After we got back to her place from dinner I asked her where I was sleeping. She told me on the couch. That’s exactly where I expected to end up. I went into this thing not expecting anything to happen as I was under the impression we were just friends. But as the night went on after talking for a few hours out of no where she asks me what side of the bed I’d like?

 

*** SIREN *** SIREN*** WHAT!!!

 

Where did she pull that one from? I responded with “which ever side you’d like.” To be honest I was in a bit of shock as this came out of no where. Anyways we ended up in bed totally opposite sides of the bed no where near each other, just chatting away with some small talk. I started to doze off then she slowly slid closer to me then wrapped her arms around me. Through out the night we kissed and fooled around nothing further happened..

 

 

The following day when we went out for some food we did what any normal couple would do. Hold hands.. kiss ect. But once I got home to my place I decided to call her and ask her what her intentions were. She told me she didn’t know and how I was thinking too much into it. At that point I just let it go and figured it was a one time thing.

 

The following week we ended up hanging out again with pretty much the same results. Almost an exact repeat. At this point I confronted her about it and told her I don’t like getting stringed along or played and would like to know what’s going on between us. I flat out told her I was interested in her and definitely would like to see if something could work out between us.. but..

 

according to her we don’t have any “common ground” as I am not exactly interested in the main things she is.. reading, writing and the music she listens to. I responded that’s trivial! I don’t understand how she could make her decision based off of something so irrelevant. She didn't even give me a chance. I told her if you really like someone you would see past the petty differences and like the person for who they are. You can’t expect things to fall into place. Then she went on to say how she realizes we may get along on the surface but she wants to talk to someone who likes the things she likes and wants something that’s more deeper.

 

 

 

At this point I couldn’t believe the things I was hearing from her mouth. The things we did together friends don’t do that. But yet she’s telling me she doesn’t want to date me because we don’t have any “common ground” basically we don’t have conversations about books or writing? Ugh.. ok? A bit confused I eventually told her that there will be times when you may need to work at it to make something work relationship wise. Then she was like well why should I be with someone that I need to try to make it work where I could be with someone else where I don’t need to try? Fed up I basically told her maybe it’s better we don’t talk anymore.

 

After I said that she seemed upset and confused as to why we couldn’t talk anymore. She said she cared for me and wanted to fix things and be friends. I definitely had feelings for her but I don’t see anything becoming of this. We argued on and off for a few days. Then she ended up inviting me to come to her place so we could “talk” things over.

 

I decided to go over to hear her out and see what she had to say for herself. After listening to her explain how she doesn’t want a relationship right now since she has too much going on with work and school. I asked her about the whole reading and writing thing but she never really gave me a straight answer. I told her my side and how i felt but she just kinda shrugged it off. Feeling like this was a waste of time I ended up agreeing with her and I made a point with myself not to pursue anything further with her.

 

 

 

Then this is where everything I told myself went out the window. I ended up spending that night with her and we ended up sleeping with each other. Yeah, so wasn’t expecting that as one thing lead to another.

 

I haven’t really had a chance to talk to her about this but I have come to realize that I’m not exactly helping the situation with following through with the physical aspect of things. But I also realize with her if I bring these things up she’s only going to push me away even further and tell me I’m thinking way too much into it. We just talk on and off like nothing happened. Now I'm curious to see if shes going to invite me over again for the weekend.

 

 

At this point I’m not quite sure what to do. Should I just shoot the sh*t with her and whatever happens, happens? Maybe with time something might work out? Or it could just slowly fade away to nothing?

 

Thoughts?