so_mo34 Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 i made the biggest mistake of my life, seeing this guy from work. he was using me for sex, i knew that but i fell for him and kept hoping he would start to like me. stupid me. we would talk/flirt at work, often messed around at work, but he would contact me off and on. only contact me when he was desperate for sex pretty much. i feel so stupid for giving in all the time. i feel so weak but now i am not going to see him anymore. does this ever happen to other girls? i feel so foolish, it's the first time this happened to me. im 22 and he's 35. apparently he had 1 gf in his life. but anyways is it possible for me to get over him when i see him at work 3 days a week? i keep thinking about him and i will miss the attention from him. i need some tips please on how to get over him and hopefully get my dignity back one day. i feel so awful. please don't insult me or anything, i know it was stupid on my part. i just want some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
marsle85 Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 Sounds like to me: You need other things in your life. And I don't mean distractions. Distractions are what the weak tell the weak. You need substantial, meaningful things in your life that just so HAPPEN to distract you. Whether that be charity, artwork, working out, etc. Fill your life with joy. It's yours, not his. Don't let him steal more from you. It seems like the last thing you want to do, but will reveal the most benefits. Link to post Share on other sites
Author so_mo34 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Share Posted March 9, 2010 Sounds like to me: You need other things in your life. And I don't mean distractions. Distractions are what the weak tell the weak. You need substantial, meaningful things in your life that just so HAPPEN to distract you. Whether that be charity, artwork, working out, etc. Fill your life with joy. It's yours, not his. Don't let him steal more from you. It seems like the last thing you want to do, but will reveal the most benefits. yeah i just started to work out yesterday and im going to work out every day to try and gain more confidence. im also going to go out and party tonight. i just feel so pathetic and need to get back on track. Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 yeah i just started to work out yesterday and im going to work out every day to try and gain more confidence. im also going to go out and party tonight. i just feel so pathetic and need to get back on track. Thats a good start. What do you like to do on your spare time? Sports? Cooking? Arts? Music? You should make a lifestyle that creates a base level of happiness through yourself. Do you have good girlfriends? Some that have positive relationships and are not getting used? Find a role model for who you want to be. Remember the guy is a complete scum bag for what he is doing. When you look at him you should think jerk, a hole, loser, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
txsilkysmoothe Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 You're only 22, there are women twice your age who fall into the trap of men like him. Don't blame yourself, but do learn from it. Have you considered changing jobs? Can you? It's alot easier to move on when you don't have to see the person. Block his phone number so he can't contact you any longer. It takes time, but you'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 It's all about time, and distance. Don't beat yourself up, everyone goes there, and has it happen. It just about learning for future reference. I was 16 when it first happened to me, he was at my school, and man, I couldn't wait for him to leave afterwards (luckily he did as he was in the year above me). Smoothie, has a point, changing jobs or moving to another department (if possible) is probably the way forward. Cut all forms of contact with him, and focus on you. It's tough, but you'll be fine. Right now, it doesn't seem like it, but it's true. If changing jobs isn't viable, then, I'd recommend keeping it civil and only work related if you have to talk to him. Other than that, look at him for what he is. A jerk. Spot the signs early, and avoid men like him in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author so_mo34 Posted March 11, 2010 Author Share Posted March 11, 2010 thanks everyone you really helped! im going to think of finding a new job. only thing is i will miss all of my work friends, but i feel it's the best decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Brightmoon Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 You're only 22, there are women twice your age who fall into the trap of men like him. Don't blame yourself, but do learn from it. Ain't that the truth! And learning from it would mean figuring out why you feel you are only good enough for scraps.... (((hugs))) Link to post Share on other sites
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