will_woman Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 Hi folks, I am going through a divorce right now. Not signed yet. I have posted a thread weeks ago under Infidenity "Husband found new love in foreign land". It's been 3 months ever since he brought up the ultimate word. He found a women in china and I left that sad place then. He just came back to our country last week and he engaged the lawyer to proceed. I have no idea of how he handle as I am still waiting to see the letter. I see no hope at all....My friends asked whether do I still love him. I am also very confused after the trust is betrayed. I cannot find the answer but I think deep inside my heart.....the answer is yes. How to find the answer? I am trying to make my heart die....can anyone teach me? If my heart does not die off and he still insisited on getting the divorce.....sigh...i am really very sad. Link to post Share on other sites
HurtinginVA Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 If only it were that easy, to just make your heart die. But its not. And you cant. I think that the answer(s) that you are looking for will only come with time. Unfortunately. Hang in there Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 Spend time with friends and family. Be good to yourself. Take good care of yourself. Eventually you will come out of this and feel better. It is very hard to believe right now, but you will heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author will_woman Posted January 31, 2004 Author Share Posted January 31, 2004 just an update. I am starting to accept the fact that my H is a piece of SH*T. I know I should have convinced myself long ago....but it's just hard to take the truth. Now, lawyers from both sides are working through the stuff. I am fighting the case against him for compensation. And also, I start to believe that people who cheats on their spouses does not feel guilty at all. They can even raise their voices at them. I feel that these kind of people just do not belong to the normal category. Now, I am trying my best to focus on my study and job hunting. Have been looking for a few months......seemed like my luck is really down. No news yet. Wish me more luck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
libra Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 will woman hang in there, you will see that it is like a chain reaction. The tides will turn and once one area in your life starts to work out, things will fall into place. It always seems that when it rains, it pours. One thing after another. But, I believe that good things will start happening for you and you will be able to move forward and start to heal. I wish you luck and agree with moimeme, take care of yourself. One thing I have done that seemed to help was.... I started a list of all the things I have always wanted to do or things I should do more often, from huge (skydiving) to tiny (bubble bath with a good book and candles) and start crossing them off your list as you do them. This is the time to be selfish and take care of YOU!!! Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 Just a thought: When I was going through my divorce I changed my look. A pick me up and a night out can do wonders, then you'll see how nice it is to have freedom and the new look will give you a new attitude (it did for me) When life gives you lemons, make lemonaide. Good luck, you will be okay someday Link to post Share on other sites
Author will_woman Posted February 25, 2004 Author Share Posted February 25, 2004 updating on my latest situation......really keen to share with all of u out there..... I have found a job and will start work shortly. Really feel very excited and glad that I found the job. And it happened to be in another industry which is of interest to me......... Regarding the divorce, me and my ex-husband (hopefully soon to be) have both engaged lawyers as we have some outstanding issues (he refuse to agree to my terms). I know this case may drag for a long time....wish that I can really take it as a breeze.....I know I still need much courage to complete the whole process. And also, I am really enjoying my Single life again. Have been treating myself real good.....spend times with family & friends. I have also done activities which I don't usually do last time. Everyone is concerned about me. And I appreciate that.... I have somehow stopped asking myself for the answer. I think that there is no need to dig and poach for answer as it will not help me a bit. Since it the happened, I should just accept and take each step as it comes. No use digging anymore futher. I have read an acticle on 3 stages of grief and I feel that I should be at stage 2 which is "fear, depression, anger". And I don't really feel that much emotions and hurt now. Really getting lesser and lesser. I keep reminding myself to live fullest today like there is no tomorrow. Still in healing process and I am feeling much better!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 This is not an easy matter. Just try to give yourself sometime and keep yourself busy with friends and supporters around you. It is Okay to feel hurt and angry but don't hate him. Hate is not good for your system. Try not to overload yourself with negative thoughts and ideas. Time is your best healer. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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