Internet causes cheating, or not?

[calizaggy]

There seem to be 2 camps..(I am gearing this towards men who cheat)

 

1. A "cheater" is simply a "cheater" and will find a way, internet or not..

 

2. The internet provides a medium that turns people whom would not cheat into cheaters..

 

I would be in camp 2.

 

ALL men are biologically made to find different women attractive. This is why you see rock stars, pro atheletes, pilots, doctors, etc bedding lots of women..Because they can.

 

Without the internet, Regular Joes would have to spend considerable amounts of time away from their wives and families at bars or another similar place to form a relationship with a woman that will lead to sex. For most men this is not worth the time or trouble, and is still no guarantee of getting sex. It would also be easier to get caught.

 

The anonymity of the internet, along with the ease to find willing sexual partners makes cheating 100 times easier. Not all men will cheat via the net, but many more will. The internet is perfect for men's quest for variety. In 2 minutes a man can place an ad and see who answers. Or he can spend 10 minutes aplying to ads, for free, and see who answers..It is very tempting.

 

It is similar to prostitution. With prostitutes hidden, or must be searched for, men are far less likely (unless in extreme cases) to go hire a hooker.

 

If men were driving home and everday saw dozens and dozens of beautiful women lined up, he would be far more likely to give into temptation, sooner or later.

[bayouboi]

Well I'm in camp 1 because while I was married, the idea of cheating on my spouse was abhorrent to me & even with access to the internet I never sought that out. Funny enough, she ended up cheating on me and I've since learned that if I want to be successful with women, I have to be more willing to cheat on them and less "noble" or "righteous" or whatever it was I was before. The problem is I don't want to become that way, therefore, my future success with women is probably doomed.

[In_Repair]

People cheat for various reasons, and the cheating is carried out in various ways. The choices assume that the cheater is a desperate deviant who hooks up with anything that is willing. That's not the case in most instances. It seems to me, from reading posts on this board, that a large percentage of married people who cheat do so with a coworker or business contact of some sort that they have a perceived "connection" with, and hooking up wasn't their intention in the beginning. Are we to assume that having a job turns people into cheaters?

 

The first option is more realistic, but again it seems to assume that we are talking about a serial cheater with no moral compass at all . All bitterness aside, not all cheaters are uncaring people who have spent their whole lives breaking hearts and ruining relationships.

[blue.iris]

ALL men are biologically made to find different women attractive. This is why you see rock stars, pro atheletes, pilots, doctors, etc bedding lots of women..Because they can.

 

 

same could be said for famous women. Make that some famous men and some famous women, not all.

 

if that's the kind of attitude you have, no wonder the first thing you think of is cheating when someone here asks for advice.

 

there is no camp 2, only camp 1.

[calizaggy]

If you are on a diet, does it make more sense to have cake in the fridge, or having cake be a 10 mile walk away?

 

I think women like to believe men are different than they really are..

(Yeah, men need some deep emotional connection to cheat LOL)

 

Once again, not all men will cheat, but making it so easy, far more men will.

 

I placed a fake ad before on Craigslist, posing as a female just to see what types of replies women get. Within 1 hour I recieved over 200 emails, mostly from married men. I doubt these married men would be getting so much action on the side at work or at bars..I also doubt their wives have any clue.

 

Being a man and placing a similar ad, i recieved ZERO replies.. See the difference???

[meerkat stew]

Put a cookie on the table within reach of a child who has been told "no cookies!" The child's propensity to grab the cookie will vary with scrutiny and the calculation of getting away with it. Most people are like children in how they moderate their impulses. The internet reduces scrutiny and chance of getting caught. Draw your own conclusions.

[blue.iris]

If you are on a diet, does it make more sense to have cake in the fridge, or having cake be a 10 mile walk away?

 

I think women like to believe men are different than they really are..

(Yeah, men need some deep emotional connection to cheat LOL)

 

Once again, not all men will cheat, but making it so easy, far more men will.

 

I placed a fake ad before on Craigslist, posing as a female just to see what types of replies women get. Within 1 hour I recieved over 200 emails, mostly from married men. I doubt these married men would be getting so much action on the side at work or at bars..I also doubt their wives have any clue.

 

Being a man and placing a similar ad, i recieved ZERO replies.. See the difference???

 

famous men/women and desperate craigslist advertisers are different people. One has abundant resources, one has absolutely nothing and resorts to an extremely pathetic attempt to seek other people.

 

There are more validating things in life then placing fake craigslist ads and ranting about cheating on relationship boards. I hope you find your way there.

 

Do not attempt to classify men as a whole on craiglist advertisers/responders.

[Tony T]

People who would not ordinarily cheat are most likely disposed to do so on the Internet because they are easily able without personal contact...emotional cheating. Otherwise, I'd say that cheaters will do their deed no matter what medium is available to them.

[Meaplus3]

People who would not ordinarily cheat are most likely disposed to do so on the Internet because they are easily able without personal contact...emotional cheating. Otherwise, I'd say that cheaters will do their deed no matter what medium is available to them.

 

I agree 100% here. Well said Tony.

 

Mea:)

[calizaggy]

famous men/women and desperate craigslist advertisers are different people. One has abundant resources, one has absolutely nothing and resorts to an extremely pathetic attempt to seek other people.

 

There are more validating things in life then placing fake craigslist ads and ranting about cheating on relationship boards. I hope you find your way there.

 

Do not attempt to classify men as a whole on craiglist advertisers/responders.

 

 

My premise is simple.. Men are basically as faithful/have as much sex as their options..

 

Famous men, or men who have women throwing themselves at them have a higher amount of partners..They are similar to the common man, but have sex coming to them easily, so they enjoy themselves..

 

Men who are not in the above group MIGHT cheat if they really wanted to badly enough (WITHOUT THE INTERNET), by jumping through many hoops..I.E. Spending lots of time at bars, riskily getting involved with a coworker, etc.. For most men cheating is not worth this much trouble. However they would cheat if it was very easy..(Similar to the rich/famous men)

 

Now enter the internet.. With a few clicks of the mouse men can set up secret emails, post ads seeking sexy strangers, and have anything they want, at anytime, with minimal effort.. A short one, tall one, fat one, skinny one, old one, asian one, black one etc etc..

 

The internet is perfect for appealing to every man's quest for variety. Those who would never have a chance of meeting any of the above women, can have every dream come true. Cheating has went from risky and difficult, to quite easy.

[AAlike]

I don't think that the presence of the internet in any way affects the number of would-be cheaters.

 

I do however think that the internet does make a lot of would-be cheaters into practicing cheaters. If the only reason that you haven't cheated is fear of getting caught, then yes, the internet is a perfect catalyst.

[donnamaybe]

My sweet and I have the internet and don't cheat.

 

Camp 1

[calizaggy]

How else would men find women to easily cheat with?

 

At bars? Well your wife would wonder why you are coming home late and drunk..

 

At work? Well this is assuming the man works with women, and then works with women who want to have no string sex with him..

 

Have any of you watched cops? The prostitution stings?

 

Just regular guys driving home from work then they see a sexy woman on the corner.. They pull over to ask how much etc..

 

Now if this woman was not there, they would have simply drove home. But she was there, and since men have a quest for variety, they stop to ask..

 

If you put a naked woman in front of a man, and nobody will ever find out, do you think he will touch her? Or think " Well I have been with my wife for 10 years.. I never want to touch another woman.."

[flc]

People cheat just like people steal, lie or are addicted to drugs. Some people do not have a strong moral compass or the will power to control their cravings.

[threebyfate]

The following quote says it all:

 

Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.

 

People with weak personal boundaries, will cheat, whether the Internet is there or not.

 

To state that the Internet is responsible for men cheating, is like stating that if not for knives, there wouldn't be any murders, where realistically speaking, people would still murder with other tools.

[donnamaybe]

Just regular guys driving home from work then they see a sexy woman on the corner.. They pull over to ask how much etc..

 

Now if this woman was not there, they would have simply drove home. But she was there, and since men have a quest for variety, they stop to ask..

 

They drove through a particular part of town BECAUSE they knew they would see that woman on the corner.

[flc]

If you put a naked woman in front of a man, and nobody will ever find out, do you think he will touch her? Or think " Well I have been with my wife for 10 years.. I never want to touch another woman.."

 

It not about wanting to or not wanting to it is whether you value what you have more than the brief instant of pleasure and whether you value the comittment you made to the other person

[threebyfate]

Hmmm...I should add one addendum. Men who in real life don't normally have any or many options, utilize the Internet to cheat, since they can purport to be someone they're not and do the cyber-sex thing or hide behind the screen to contact Internet hookers for webcam sex or to make physical arrangements.

 

But then, that's primarily covered by my previous post, about weak personal boundaries.

[blue.iris]

How else would men find women to easily cheat with?

 

At bars? Well your wife would wonder why you are coming home late and drunk..

 

At work? Well this is assuming the man works with women, and then works with women who want to have no string sex with him..

 

Have any of you watched cops? The prostitution stings?

 

Just regular guys driving home from work then they see a sexy woman on the corner.. They pull over to ask how much etc..

 

Now if this woman was not there, they would have simply drove home. But she was there, and since men have a quest for variety, they stop to ask..

 

If you put a naked woman in front of a man, and nobody will ever find out, do you think he will touch her? Or think " Well I have been with my wife for 10 years.. I never want to touch another woman.."

 

You need to stop comparing men to yourself. It might be what you would do, I do not doubt it. Not something ALL men would do.

[Mme. Chaucer]

My premise is simple.. Men are basically as faithful/have as much sex as their options..

 

.

 

You should amend that to read "Men of questionable character are basically as faithful/have as much sex as their options."

 

Sure, the Internet provides plenty of opportunities for cheating to people who are inclined that way.

 

I'm sorry if you live in a world where every man would be porking any available woman if only he had the opportunity. Thank God I don't live there.

[calizaggy]

The following quote says it all:

 

Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.

 

People with weak personal boundaries, will cheat, whether the Internet is there or not.

 

To state that the Internet is responsible for men cheating, is like stating that if not for knives, there wouldn't be any murders, where realistically speaking, people would still murder with other tools.

 

 

Actually people do use that arguement with guns..

 

Did i say it is RESPONSIBLE for men cheating? Nice twist as usual..

 

I said it makes it far easier, and men who otherwise would never cheat because of the hassles, now do.

 

I have seen it MANY times, and the wives have NO CLUE.. She might run out to the store, guy logs on to chat, she comes home.. No clue at all..

[donnamaybe]

Did i say it is RESPONSIBLE for men cheating? Nice twist as usual..

 

LMAO! The very TITLE of your thread says you said that: Internet causes cheating, or not?

 

Causes = is responsible for

[calizaggy]

A cause of something does not mean full responsibility..

[donnamaybe]

A cause of something does not mean full responsibility..

 

Well say what you mean!

[donnamaybe]

There seem to be 2 camps..(I am gearing this towards men who cheat)

 

1. A "cheater" is simply a "cheater" and will find a way, internet or not..

 

2. The internet provides a medium that turns people whom would not cheat into cheaters..

 

I would be in camp 2.

 

Sounds to me like you are making the internet responsible for the cheating. They would not cheat, but for the internet. That is EXACTLY what you said above.