The EXTREME difficulty living with abusive and neglectful alcoholic parents!

[Kekers]

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last nite was the last straw it was my sisters birthday and her friends threw her a surprise party and we came home at 12 and as soon as we came through the door it was a big fight they were accusing us of doing drugs which i wouldnt do bc i dont wanna end up like my parents and i do feel taht i am a good person. and like usual they were both drunk and angry so they were gettin violent and my dad punched me once and my sister twice in the face so me and my sister ran up in my room and closed the door and held it closed so my mom and dad coudlnt come in and he like went nuts and busted a hole in the door and god only knows what he would have done to us if he got in

 

 

I dont kno how to deal with them any more, i told my self as soon as i was 18 it was all gonna b over but its not. if i do leave i feel like im abandoning my younger sister and brother who have to deal with the mental and physical abuse every day. i just want to take um away and take care of them my self but i kno i dont have the money to do it.

 

i guess ill start at the begining ....both of my parents are alcoholics. they met when they were both in there late 30's in a bar that is so convenentally 10 houses up the road. when me and my sister were born my mother drank through teh whole pregnancy, but with my brother she was drunk from the time she woke up to the time she layed back down. me and my sister turned out alrite but my brother is a little slow and i kno its because of her drinking. hes so mentally abused every day he doesnt have any friends, never leaves the house and sits up in my moms room with her while shes drinkin her face off. i really feel that he could have been helped but my mother spent no time with him at all while he was a child she slept all day never took care of him that was left to me and my sister.

 

i never had any thing growing up. we had no money. my mother never took me shopping ever in my life. we never did any mother daughter stuf ever and i feel like i missed out on alot. i look at other girls with there mothers and i just want to cry bc i wish i had that. i cant remember the last time my mom left the house she doesnt go grocery shopping nothing she jsut sits up in her room and periodically comes out to scream and throw stuff and try to start fights with me and my sister.i never see my mom sober she wakes up drunk and goes to sleep drunk i kno some day its gonna kill her

 

my dads never home he works from 6 untill 5 and then he goes straight to the bar and dosent come home untill 1 in the morning and thats always a fight and he never fails to bring home a case of beer for my mother. we beg him not to but he just tells us to shut up and i tryed many time hiding it but its like she can smell it out no matter where i hide it she finds it.. i even got so mad one day that i went out in my back yard and chucked um up in the woods behind my house and i told my mom to go crawl out there and get them. many times i get so depressed that i inflict pain on my self and try to hurt my self to feel better. im never happy and i really feel that i have no one but my sibblings. i feel so helpless i really dont kno what to do.

[moimeme]

Is there a clergy person or school counsellor you can turn to? You should not have to live in this horrible situation. Yes, it may mean that you are removed to another home, but really, would that be that bad considering the horrid life you have now?

 

You can also call your local child welfare services people.

[Tony T]

Jesus, what you have described is horrible although not completely uncommon. If you remain with your mother and father you will one day have a lot of healing to do. If there's any way you can move in with a sober relative or otherwise get some counselling at school for the severe abuse you are enduring, please try to do so. You're lucky you have the insight to realize what you a living is not normal or healthy. It is the most severe emotional (and physical) abuse that can be imparted on any human being. You and your siblings are orphans with parents in your own home. The pain must be enormous.

 

While you are living at home, there is really no solution unless you called a Child Protection or Family Services agency in your area. However, if you did that, they would remove you and your siblings from the home and place you in a foster home. They could even split the three of you up. I would hate to see that happen.

 

Talk to a counsellor at school and let them know just how you live. See if the counsellor can get some help for you without going to extremes. You cannot continue living this way.

[Kriz]

This is a hard nut to crack.

 

You could:

 

 

* Try to talk it through. It seems that it would be almost impossible in your situation, but I felt I should at least mention it.

 

* In family dinners, make a fool out of them by openly joking about their addiction. They may realise through humiliation that what they're doing to you is wrong. Perhaps you could just talk to relatives you're close to? Someone who has an influence on them?

 

* Print out this thread and let them read your story. There has to be some common sense there that hasn't drowned.

 

* Go to some sort of social worker (I'm not american but there has to be something like it back there). They'll probably get you kids out of there, but then it is possible your sister and brother will be placed in a foster family or some sort of home.

 

* Hang in there for a while, until you get a job. Then go to the 'social worker' or something like it, and fight your parents for the custody of your sister and brother.

 

 

Anyways, hang in there. There's always help, and things will get better. Keep that in mind.

[dyermaker]

Children of Alcoholics Foundation Helpline : 1-800-359-2623

 

It's bad enough when one parent has this disease, but when both parents are active alcoholics, as well as physically abusive, help needs to be sought. Even if you think you can "handle" them, you have a responsibility to your younger siblings to get them out of that house.

[spencer]

Kekers

Do you have any relatives that could help. grandparents, aunts or uncles?

I would go to a therapist, try to find someone that is a Licienced Drug and Alcohol Counselor.

You can use your parents insurance to pay for this. actually you can call your insurance company and ask them to find someone in your area. or check online with the company.

If you are unable to do this post back and i will email you and find someone for you.

A therapist can help you with coping skills and suggest alternatives for dealing with your situation.

Do this first, it could be the most important thing you ever do in your life, not just for you but your brother and sister.

They will help you figure out what your options are. Once you are out of harms way stay awhile and work on youself. Pain, hurt , anger, self esteem. you have a way to recovery.

take it.

[NiCoLe20]

next time they get violent w/ you and theyre under the influence call the police...they will come to the house and obviously see that their drunk and will charge them...they will find a relative for u and ur siblings to stay w/ but thats better then taking this abuse right? it will take the law enforcement to make them realize what theyre doing is wrong ... well hopefully... my aunt isdying right now as we speak b/c she was an alcoholic and her liver is failing quickly...she's in a coma and she isnt expected to live thru the holidays...get help before its too late

[Elmo]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this crap. I had a similar childhood.

 

I think you should get out...NOW. Find a way. Yeah, I know it is hard. Life can be very difficult, as you know. But you need to get control of YOUR LIFE. Get a room-mate or two or three. Work a couple of crappy jobs...just get out.

 

Then, call Child Protective Services and they will help your siblings.

 

I know this is a huge drag....but you have to take first things first. FIRST: take care of you and get the hell out of that mess. SECOND: call CPS and they will help the younger ones.

 

I don't care if you have to live in a rat hole with only mac and cheese to eat for a year. It will be better than what you are going through now.

 

Plus....you are too young to really help your siblings. You need help to help them. CPS has seen this situation before. They will be able to help your bro and sis.

 

Think about this. I wish my older sister had called someone to help me when she went to college. I understand why she didn't...but I still wish she had.

 

You can help yourself and them. Just put together a very simple plan for your moving out...then call CPS. You can do it without giving your name!

 

Or...call Boystown. I think you can get the 800 number from the operator. Or call ChildhelpUSA. They also have an 800 number.

 

Good luck, sweetie. You deserve a good life. Be strong and leave.

[MelodyJ]

K:

What about a local chapter of ALATEEN or AA? They are there to give support and guidance to teens dealing with an alchoholic parent. If anyone can give you some suggestions, I would think they could. And, if you can talk to someone there maybe you can see if they can give you some names with out it getting reported to CPS until you find out what may happen to your siblings, because as Tony stated, they will remove them from the home and possibly split them up, especially if the littlest has some developmental problems. Since you have access to the internet, look up one near you. Good luck honey, you are doing a great job, stay strong.