Girlie Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 I said this in another post, but I'm trying really hard to walk away from a very damaging relationship with a man who is domineering, dominating, and a whole bunch of other ugly adjectives. I've found that even though I dislike these traits, it's very difficult to walk away because he does have a part of my heart and has been a very significant part of my life. I'm trying very hard to go cold turkey-no contact, but am struggling. If anyone out there has any kind words of encouragement or needs to vent about a similar situation, I would so appreciate it. I'm totally heartbroken, but know deep down that the best thing for me is to move on and I really want to do it. Any tips on things I can do to avoid dwelling on this mess would also be greatly appreciated. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 11, 2004 Share Posted January 11, 2004 This guy is a part of your heart, and you can never change that. However, your heart belongs to you, and only you--it is up to you to decide where you want to put him. You can put him on the "throne" of your heart, and allow him to continue to dominate you. Or, you can put him in the "mistakes I've made, things I've learned" part. You can never go back and erase experiences, but you can decide what you extrapolate from the experiences. Right now, it's hard. That's the way it's supposed to be. When you feel good about yourself, it won't hurt as much.When you find someone who belongs on the throne, it won't hurt at all. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
mikab Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 I've been going through a difficult break up too. I haven't been sleeping much. I have a lot of anxiety about the future without him. I can't stop thinking about him. It has been over 2 months since we ended it. I went to see a therapist. She gave me something to help me sleep at night. It helps a lot. It's hard to get your life back in order when you can't even eat or sleep. Anyhow, I've been doing some painting. Something I've never really done before. It helps to keep my mind occupied, and it makes me feel good to create something I think is pretty cool. Also, "retail therapy" is great if you have a little extra money to spend. It's so wierd how a new outfit, a new hairdo, or manicure can repair your self esteem, at least temporarily. When you have the energy, go to the gym. Get good book to read. Spend time with your friends. Lastly, don't call him. Don't go see him. Don't drive by his place etc... this is all self torture. It might make you feel a little better at the time, but it just prolongs the healing process. If he calls, try not to answer the phone. If he's calling for something important he can leave a message. It's been working for me. Hope it helps you too. lol Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 I feel for you - not sure I will have anything of value to add. You said something in an earlier post that I find significant, namely that you were finding out he's not who you thought he was. The special place in your heart is for the man you thought he was - not the man he is. You are in love with a myth, your brain knows it but your heart is slower to respond. Remember how he made you feel about yourself, you deserve better, firstly from yourself and then from another. Strive for happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
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