WTH to do?

[hardluck]

Bit of a long story, so sorry in advance. Long distance relationship 9 months. See each other usually every other or at worst every 4th week. Beautiful woman, few years my junior with a 17 yr old daughter. She's never been where I come from as I go there, way easier for everybody. Last trip out was short, and second day I got there a great friend of mine who also lives there felt he had to inform me that there's been a lot more traffic thru her place especially recently than me. A couple of the local residents concurred and gave some details, all with maybe a bit of prejudice and accounts that could be explainable. Common themes were odd vehicles parked there, sometimes overnight, a couple of occasions where somebody was actually seen leaving her place at 4 or 5 am., the odd clash with a local woman who seemed bound and determined she'd been messing around with her husband ad nauseum. After learning about all this my g'friend and I with her daughter went out of town for an evening dinner. I had a tough time staying calm, in fact was going out of my mind. The result was that I seemed to be acting "weird" which effectively got me in the doghouse. Next day I was informed that I'd been behaving poorly, a bit loud and worse like her ex. I'm nothing like him. I couldn't tell her why I was all wound up so just blamed it on a couple of drinks. Since that weekend ( I had to leave on the Saturday am) all I heard about was all the goings on in my absence, a lot of it rumor, some just a bit too plausible to be ignored. 2 local guys actually stopped to ask my buddy there if I was still seeing her and made the suggestion to my friends there that somebody had to clue me in, that what they figured was just plain wrong. After arriving home, I had no luck contacting her at all, no answering my calls or messages and voicemails. She finally called 4 days after I left and acted as if everything was just fine. Call was short because she was working and she promised to call me later. That was 2 days ago, can't reach her. How on earth do I raise an issue like this? We'd never actually talked about rules of the relationship. I'd never actually stayed with her in her house until her daughter was away for a weekend because of the example it might set. We didn't get "together-together" at all this time. And I don't have a clue how to initiate a discussion about my new frightening concerns. In the meantime I'm a nervous wreck having to consider that this stuff is all true. If it is, she deserves an Oscar. And for the record, I am one of the genuinely real nice guys and I've always treated her like gold. What on earth do I do?

[lostsunsets]

Dump her. Its to late in the relationship to set rules. She will feel controlled and cheated if she doesn't get to sleep around. Find some one close to you. Have a normal relationship and set rules early.

[meerkat stew]

Dump and walk, if for no other reason than she can't be an adult about maintaining contact.

 

IME, neighbors don't step up and say something to a third party unless something is -seriously- going on for some time.

[Bryanp]

How could you not bring this up to her when you with her last? For gosh sakes, she is putting your health at great risk for STD's. You need to get tested IMMEDIATELY for STD's. There is one thing to being a nice guy and another in being doormat. Apparently she has no problems screwing other men and you have not even discussed exclusivity in your relationship. I am sorry my friend but it seems she is playing you for quite the fool.

[mark982]

basically, it's pretty simple. since you don't live near her, just go nc. forget her and move on. before she gives you something modern science can't cure.

[Barky]

You should have been dating other women too, not pinning all your hopes and dreams on this chick.

[jnj express]

as was said B4, why didn't you confront her then and there. Are you afraid you know what is true, will be verified----get it over and done with, you are driving yourself loco. Long distance romance way to hard, you have problems going in---walk away

[hardluck]

basically, it's pretty simple. since you don't live near her, just go nc. forget her and move on. before she gives you something modern science can't cure.

 

Maybe it's all the brain overload, but what's "nc" mean?

[Bryanp]

NC means no contact. Please get tested for STD's as soon as possible.

[hardluck]

It got much, much worse. First 2 suggestions were the right ones. The history continued to pile up. Looks like I was the obvious choice to be the visible public boyfriend, the nice guy who went to any length to please his GF. What an idiot I am. It started a month after we began seeing each other but really ramped up a couple of months ago, no particular trigger I can see. Thank God I found out in time - one week away from buying a condo there in order not to disrupt the proper moral example being set by the mother for her daughter. Jesus.

[Space Ritual]

Delete this chick from your life. I mean no contact at all delete her phone number,block her email address and forget about this tramp.

 

Same thing happened to me a couple of years ago when I drove from Chicago to New Hampshire on a gut feeling to surprise my Long Distance GF. Imagine my surprise when her new live in BF answered the door!

 

 

Yep, I hate to tell you but Long Distance relationships rarely if ever work. Please get tested for STD's and thank your lucky stars you didn't get too serious. Probably the sad thing is that her 17 year old daughter will figure that her mother's behavior is normal so she will be a skank in training and probably act like that too.