bolase Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 I feel physically sick this morning, I slept with my flatmate who is a friend, and having kissed before, we decided that nothing more would happen (even though he was err rather open to it), as it would make other people uncomfortable. I've only slept with one person before (a long term boyfriend) and I don't think I am ready for casual sex AT ALL. I havent rebounded, just a few kisses in 6 months. I was curious about this guy and following our attraction to something more, but I guess I feel like I am throwing away my value as a woman, giving him too much since were already friends and living together, now we've had sex, but I'm not his girlfriend (we like each other, but he doesnt want a relationship. I say I don't either, but somehow I still feel like a ho and like I have done something awful to myself)..he says not to stress...and of course it doesnt have to happen again. But I want to wait for someone I care about next.. just feel so horrible for going through with it and wondered if anyone heres had a similar situation.yuk yuk yuk. It wasn't bad sex, I just feel like throwing up now at what I did. Oh, he HAS told me that he wouldnt bring anyone else home and would be disrespected if I went for his friend (in an earlier convo after we kissed), but still...no relationship. what the heck, if I want more I should just tell him hte casual thing doesnt feel right to me, right? Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 Aw, sweetie! Don't feel badly about yourself. Take this as a learning experience. DO NOT get into a FWB situation with this guy, though. You'll only end up hurt, and it would just get too complicated anyway since you live together. I would sit down and tell him that you've realized casual sex isn't your thing and it won't be happening again in the future. I guess I feel like I am throwing away my value as a woman, giving him too much Gah. Your "value" as a woman has nothing to do with how many men you sleep with or don't sleep with, so please try to examine where this idea comes from and why you believe in it!! It's destructive on SO many levels. Did he throw away his "value" as a man because he had sex with you?? I'm guessing the answer is no... so why do you think you are so much worse for doing the exact same thing he did? Anyway, sometimes it takes an experience like this to fully understand what you're ok with and not ok with regarding sex. Now you know that casual sex doesn't make you feel good. So the only thing you can do from here is learn from it and not engage in casual sex anymore. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad today, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bolase Posted March 13, 2010 Author Share Posted March 13, 2010 Thank you so much, that made me feel heaps better, a tear to my eye cause I just can't tell any of our mutual friends to commisserate... and you're right I have NO ideas where that belief comes from but it is a stupid double standard and I am of course worth more than my body, I have everything going for me right now, its just so against my experience to do this and I feel like s*** having to bear it alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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