Driving myself crazy!

[vanek26]

Ok so I'll try to make this brief but I can't promise I won't ramble.

 

I'm a college student who works part-time in retail. I just got out of a long, horrible relationship a few months ago. My ex-partner and I spent all of our time together every day, but there was no romance at all. I merely stayed with her to preserve the status quo and because I didn't want to be alone, you know the drill.

 

But now I am alone, and I have been for some time. No other friends, really. I spend my Friday and Saturday nights on the computer or playing games. It truly is quite pathetic, but it feels as if it is my lot in life.

 

Well, this past weekend an old friend came over who was home for the weekend from college, and he invited some of his friends including two girls. I started talking to one of the girls and we seemed to hit it off quite well. she laughed at me frequently, and seemed to pick up on my sarcasm and wit. I felt great talking to her, but when she left... it seemed I would never see her again. And that I would return to my hermit state.

 

Now, don't get me wrong. I didn't want to marry this chick. But after getting a small taste of the better things out there, thinking of computers and games and staying home everynight makes me sick to my stomach (really, i haven't done much eating this week)

 

Luckily for me, my friend texted me the next day saying I should have this girl's number. I was overjoyed. That nervous rush you feel when you're pursuing a love interest is hard to match.

 

I began texting her throughout the week and it was -very- up and down. There would be times where she would just randomly stop responding to me mid conversation, but when she did talk she filled my phone with smiley faces and nice things. She even initiated a few conversations. (if she sends the first text, she's probably somewhat interested, right?)

 

I took the plunge and asked her if she wanted to hang out the other day. We decided on dog walking and she was really excited to go. the morning of our plans she texted me leading up to it daying how much she wa slooking forward to it. I was feeling great; she HAD to be interested.

 

We met up and the first thing I noticed was that she was gorgeous. Prettier than I remembered; it was a little intimidating to be honest. Now, I'm not hideous by any stretch, but I am also objective enough to realize my limitations. I can't command premium girls from my looks alone, not by a longshot.

 

So we walked and talked for about 2 hours before she decided she needed to go. It was a decent enough time. I kept her laughing, there were no awkward silences, overall it went pretty well. But I had this horrible feeling afterwards that she realized how below her I am physically, and it made me just feel awful.

 

She didn't text me the rest of the day, and I caved in and texted her later that night. Mid conversation, she stopped responding.

 

We had planned for her to come visit me at work today. She never showed up. I got a text after I left work saying 'i'm so sorry ' She claimed she got stuck at school. Sounds like a horrible excuse.

 

She's a drinker, she's a partier, and I'm a loser. I think that's been becoming more apparent now. She may have even been drunk the night she met me and remembers me being more attractive than I actually was.

 

Either way, what do I do now, throw in the towel? I don't know if I can deal with going back into my shell... thanks!

[Barky]

If you're not half bad looking then try internet dating. You shouldn't be obsessing over this one chick.

[vanek26]

hey, thanks for the quick response.

 

I know I shouldn't obsess over one girl, all in all she isn't the most interesting person, but like I said my chances are so few and far between I need to cherish them.

 

As for internet dating I considered it, but it just seems like the easy way out. I'm ashamed of myself and my lifestyle, and I'd feel so much better if I 'earned' a girl more conventionally.