First love broke my heart. My story inside.

[justaguy123]

Ugh, not having that great a day today. I see her online right now and know that she see me yet doesn't feel the need to tell me if she is going to the university or not. I guess thats my anwser. I'm really tempted to tell her off, but dont want her to see how much she has effected me.

 

I'm not going to contact her again. Her excuses are just making me upset. I don't like how much a coward she has been through all this.

[starwolf242]

She's a coward because she knows what she has done is wrong. Rise above it. You're better than her.

[justaguy123]

I keep on going back and forth between hateing her and wanting her back. Part of me still thinks that she is still the great person I feel in love with, but another part of me knows that she has already moved on and wants nothing to do with me and that she is not the person I though she was. I really wish I could get over her like she got over me.

[starwolf242]

Yea it's hard. That will continue for a while. You really need to find someone else to take your mind off her. Although I still love my ex, things started to get loads better for me once I found someone else to think about. I'm not saying jump into a rebound and for about 2 months I couldn't even stomach the thought of being with someone else. But i found someone who is more interesting than my ex and all we've done is talk we're taking things very slowly but he's helped me realise that there are other people out there that can captivate me. Hanging out with your existing friends is good but you really need to make new friends. Since your ex has gone off and found someone else, why can't you? Just look around you there must be some girls who aren't exactly friends but who you find interesting? Especially at Uni there's hundreds of lovely single girls. I promise you there is someone better, more mature and emotionally stable probably within 50 miles of you. As hard as it is to think about dating someone else, you just have to open up your social circle. You probably aren't ready for dating yet but there's no harm in meeting some new girls, let them know your situation be upfront and if they are decent girls they will be patient with you. My guy is. We've known each other for a month now and he isn't pushing or pressuring me at all.

 

Do you think you could try and start up a conversation with a new girl in the next week? Doesn't have to lead to asking her out or anything, just talk to her. You never know who you'll meet.

[justaguy123]

Yea it's hard. That will continue for a while. You really need to find someone else to take your mind off her. Although I still love my ex, things started to get loads better for me once I found someone else to think about. I'm not saying jump into a rebound and for about 2 months I couldn't even stomach the thought of being with someone else. But i found someone who is more interesting than my ex and all we've done is talk we're taking things very slowly but he's helped me realise that there are other people out there that can captivate me. Hanging out with your existing friends is good but you really need to make new friends. Since your ex has gone off and found someone else, why can't you? Just look around you there must be some girls who aren't exactly friends but who you find interesting? Especially at Uni there's hundreds of lovely single girls. I promise you there is someone better, more mature and emotionally stable probably within 50 miles of you. As hard as it is to think about dating someone else, you just have to open up your social circle. You probably aren't ready for dating yet but there's no harm in meeting some new girls, let them know your situation be upfront and if they are decent girls they will be patient with you. My guy is. We've known each other for a month now and he isn't pushing or pressuring me at all.

 

Do you think you could try and start up a conversation with a new girl in the next week? Doesn't have to lead to asking her out or anything, just talk to her. You never know who you'll meet.

 

Oh I have met new people already. I started going to dance class(salsa and tango ) about a week after she broke it off. I needed to go out and do something and that seemed like a good place to meet new people. I've made friends there and there seems to be some girls that are interested in me. I am thinking about asking one of them out, it is just I don't really want anyone but my ex. I think I will ask this girl out next week after dance class though.

 

I kind of still want to just ask my ex up front if there is a chance to get back together, just to get it over with so I can stop wondering. I wanted to test the waters with a short get together but since she blew me off twice I just want an awser.

 

The thing is though is that if I do ask it will show her that I am not over her and she will think less of me and will probably ruin any chance I have at getting her back.

 

What do you think I should do?

 

I don't think I should.

[justaguy123]

I've decided today to try and let go of my anger. It will be hard but I'm going to try. I gave it my all and I know that we wont get back together because she doesn't want me. It is obvious that she doesn't want to see me or talk to me so here I go. I'm letting go. Starting now. I think it would be easier if I never had to see her again but I know that is not an option.

[starwolf242]

That sounds like a brilliant plan! It will be tought to not see her but you can do most measures to avoid her i.e. sit in front of her so you can't see her and won't be tempted to look round, sit as far away from her as possible, don't put yourself in a situation where she's likely to come and talk to you and do your best to avoid trying to talk to her. Find a gorgeous girl in your class to stare at instead of your ex.

 

I'd say her blowing you off is your answer. She's wrapped up with this other guy and until it starts going wrong, you won't have a look in. Don't wait for her. I don't think you should either. As long as she doesn't want you, anything you do will look needy and desperate. Only if and when she comes back asking for a second chance should you entertain the idea. Hope will remain that there's another shot for you too but forge ahead as if it won't happen. Be a better/different person to who you were together and either way you'll be in love again before you know it.

[starwolf242]

Oh and as for asking the girl out next week, be very careful that you don't damage your healing and don't give her the wrong idea about what you are ready for. I think you should go out with her, make it clear just as friends and hopefully you'll have a really good time and will start to realise that the ex isn't the creme de la creme. I went on a couple of awful dates when I first broke up and it made me even more sure the ex was the one but then I had a great date and started to wonder again.

 

Just make sure no one gets hurt and everyone knows where they stand

[justaguy123]

Find a gorgeous girl in your class to stare at instead of your ex.

 

I wish there was another gorgeous girl but sadly there isn't in my program. She is the only attractive girl in my class. I'm in computer science so it's not like a whole lot of hot looking woman. (trust me every guy in my class was jealous, but the way I see it is that if I can get a girl like that once, I can do it again)

 

Anyway thats not for awhile yet so I will have plenty of time to heal but I still wish I didn't have to see her.

 

As for this girl that I'm thinking of asking out, I am going to be honest with her. I'm not looking for anything serious, just someone to hang out with and have a good time.

Edited April 1, 2010 by justaguy123

[Dodgers27]

I've decided today to try and let go of my anger. It will be hard but I'm going to try. I gave it my all and I know that we wont get back together because she doesn't want me. It is obvious that she doesn't want to see me or talk to me so here I go. I'm letting go. Starting now. I think it would be easier if I never had to see her again but I know that is not an option.

Yeah, I've been feeling the same way lately. There are a few things that have set me off recently, but what I want is to not be angry anymore, and hopefully not sad, but that won't be happening any time soon.

 

Idk, I just want it to get easier.

 

But yeah, good luck, I think it's the right move.

[starwolf242]

So find a gorgeous girl in another class. Surely your mutual friend can help you widen your net? It's not so much find a new girlfriend but you need to find a new crush to focus on. But take everything slow and don't do anything until you start to think you are over it. The key is to try to keep out all negative thoughts. And on down days (you will have them) just do whatever it takes to keep your head above water.

 

I've been thinking about what you said about wanting to tell her off and ask her one last time if there's a chance of getting back together. I wrote a letter to my ex. I made the mistake of giving it to him but writing down everything that I was thinking made me feel so much better. It was like instead of holding it all in, I let it out. I've no idea if he read it or not and ultimately it doesn't matter. But after I wrote that letter, I felt much more chirpy for about a week until I made the mistake of looking at his facebook and seeing a picture of them kissing. I also started writing a diary about everything that was happening, how I was feeling and specifically what happened during the break up and what he's been doing since. I find in my strong moments that I seem to let go of the hope for reconcilliation and that in my weak moments I cling onto it desperately. It's also helps to track what causes weak moments so you can avoid it. I think you would find this very helpful and plus since it's your first heartbreak just like me, it's like a guide book that you can look back on for what to do and what not to do.

 

Give it a go. If you aren't keen on the diary idea definately do the letter and if you are desperate to send it to her after you've written it, i would suggest giving it to your mutual friend to read over and see if she things it's worth giving to her. But remember that IF she reads it, she may think you weak and if she doesn't that may make you feel worse.

[starwolf242]

Dodge how long you been broken up for?

[Dodgers27]

Dodge how long you been broken up for?

 

About a month and a week or so now. Each day just gets grander and grander, lol.

[justaguy123]

I've been thinking about what you said about wanting to tell her off and ask her one last time if there's a chance of getting back together. I wrote a letter to my ex. I made the mistake of giving it to him but writing down everything that I was thinking made me feel so much better. It was like instead of holding it all in, I let it out. I've no idea if he read it or not and ultimately it doesn't matter. But after I wrote that letter, I felt much more chirpy for about a week until I made the mistake of looking at his facebook and seeing a picture of them kissing. I also started writing a diary about everything that was happening, how I was feeling and specifically what happened during the break up and what he's been doing since. I find in my strong moments that I seem to let go of the hope for reconcilliation and that in my weak moments I cling onto it desperately. It's also helps to track what causes weak moments so you can avoid it. I think you would find this very helpful and plus since it's your first heartbreak just like me, it's like a guide book that you can look back on for what to do and what not to do.

 

Give it a go. If you aren't keen on the diary idea definately do the letter and if you are desperate to send it to her after you've written it, i would suggest giving it to your mutual friend to read over and see if she things it's worth giving to her. But remember that IF she reads it, she may think you weak and if she doesn't that may make you feel worse.

 

I did write her a letter describing everything I was feeling and doing. I did that the first 2 weeks. I was never going to send it to her though. It was directed at her as if I was talking to her. It did help a little at the time but I stopped doing it after I found out she started dating someone else a few days after dumping me. It did let me empty out my feeling but they are still there.

 

I am definatly at a better place then I was then, but I'm still not completely healed

[starwolf242]

Perhaps it would be interesting then to write her another one now. If you're in a different place and have different feelings now it'll be a different kind of letter. Give it a try.

[justaguy123]

I don't think I really want to do that right now. I'm just trying to forget about her right now. I don't want to keep on bringing up those feelings. I might do it later but not right now.

[justaguy123]

well it is Easter today and I had a pretty good weekend. I went to my aunts house this weekend and it was beautiful the whole entire time. I still thought about my ex a lot though, I still cant go an hour without thinking of her. It is getting easier though, I try to just push her out of my mind but it is hard sometimes. I just remember last year at easter, we made a bunny cake and it was really fun. It was something we used to do a lot, make deserts and such.

 

Memories can be hard sometimes I guess, but I'm glad I have them. Still wish she wasn't on my mind though.

[KewlBum]

well it is Easter today and I had a pretty good weekend. I went to my aunts house this weekend and it was beautiful the whole entire time. I still thought about my ex a lot though, I still cant go an hour without thinking of her. It is getting easier though, I try to just push her out of my mind but it is hard sometimes. I just remember last year at easter, we made a bunny cake and it was really fun. It was something we used to do a lot, make deserts and such.

 

Memories can be hard sometimes I guess, but I'm glad I have them. Still wish she wasn't on my mind though.

Man, I know exactly what you mean. My ex broke up with me 1 mnonth and 1 day ago. I think about her constantly, like every 10 minutes at least once. Even when i'm doing other stuff like hanging with friends or working out, I'll still be thinking about her. I just keep trying to push her out of my mind but nothing is working. For me, it really doesn't seem like I'm getting better. I think about her the same amount as I did a month ago. Will this ever end? I really don't know. Maybe in a year it will but I'm really fearful that 5 months will pass by and I'm still thinking about her the same amount, still feeling the heavy pain in my heart, still wanting to cry every single night...

[justaguy123]

sorry you are having the same feelings as me. Its hard I know. I wish i knew how to make it stop.

 

Be strong friend.

[justaguy123]

Getting to the point of really wanting to talk to her again. I still miss her just as much as when she left. I want to just call her up and talk to her, I just miss that. Today I kind of want to ask her one last time if she wants to get together and just talk but I wont because it will just hurt when she gives me another lame excuse.

 

I hate that I still love her but she doesn't love me anymore. Unrequited love is a real bi*ch.

[justaguy123]

F*ck it Im doing it. I know I'm weak, but I love her. Uhg if she blows me off again I'm deleteing every way of contacting her so I wont be able to. (something I should have done a long time ago I know)

[EmperorR]

Don't

you'll just feel like chyt after

[justaguy123]

Don't

you'll just feel like chyt after

 

Already did it. Well we talked and I think I finally got the closure I was looking for. She asked me why I wanted to hang out and I told her the real reason. We then talked about how she is happy with her new relationship and then she told me that she doesn't want to fix things with me. I then told her off a little and then told her why I wanted to try again. I was honest and truthful about everything. And now I feel liberated. I can see she is not the one for me now, she acted completely different from the way I remember her.

 

I'm ready to let go completely, its over and done. I deleted every way I could contect her. I told her good bye and that it would be the last time I contacted her. I wished her a good life and the best.

 

Im still a little sad but at least now I know how she feels for certain. Ill find someone better.

 

Goodbye my love.

[Dodgers27]

Getting to the point of really wanting to talk to her again. I still miss her just as much as when she left. I want to just call her up and talk to her, I just miss that. Today I kind of want to ask her one last time if she wants to get together and just talk but I wont because it will just hurt when she gives me another lame excuse.

 

I hate that I still love her but she doesn't love me anymore. Unrequited love is a real bi*ch.

I called my ex last night. I missed talking to her and I wanted to see how she was doing. She was babysitting and the kid was screaming so she said she'd call me back. She ended up texting me asking me what I wanted. I told her I wanted to see how she's doing, and she said good and that there's nothing new. She asked me how I am and I told her good. After that I told her she didn't need to indulge me, i just hoped that she was doing well and her bf was treating her good because she deserved it.

 

I never got a text back, but I guess I didn't really expect another one. I want to call her one last time and just ask if she has any feelings of friendship left for me at all and if she misses me in any way. If not, I can just stop trying. I think I'll wait a few days before I do anything else.

[KewlBum]

justaguy and dodgers, it's like you guys are exactly like me...