First love broke my heart. My story inside.

[justaguy123]

I want to call her one last time and just ask if she has any feelings of friendship left for me at all and if she misses me in any way. If not, I can just stop trying. I think I'll wait a few days before I do anything else.

 

I think you should ask her, after I talked to my ex, and I knew for certain that she is over me and wants nothing to do with me I felt sad but liberated from that feeling of hope.

 

I don't want to be friends with my ex, just want her to be happy even if it is not with me. Im not going to lie and say Im not disappointed, but at least now I'm free to live my life without the question of "What if?".

 

Dodgers just dont expect her to come flying back to you with this call. It will most likely push her farther away if anything, but if you need to do it for your own healing like I did, do it.

 

I don't think you should be friends with your ex though, even if she wants it. You will always want more. Just be happy that she is happy and go try and find your own slice of happiness with someone else.

 

Best of luck.

[justaguy123]

justaguy and dodgers, it's like you guys are exactly like me...

 

I wish you the best my friend. Its hard, but we will get through it.

[Dodgers27]

I think you should ask her, after I talked to my ex, and I knew for certain that she is over me and wants nothing to do with me I felt sad but liberated from that feeling of hope.

 

I don't want to be friends with my ex, just want her to be happy even if it is not with me. Im not going to lie and say Im not disappointed, but at least now I'm free to live my life without the question of "What if?".

 

Dodgers just dont expect her to come flying back to you with this call. It will most likely push her farther away if anything, but if you need to do it for your own healing like I did, do it.

 

I don't think you should be friends with your ex though, even if she wants it. You will always want more. Just be happy that she is happy and go try and find your own slice of happiness with someone else.

 

Best of luck.

I don't want to push her further away, but if that's what it takes to know, then I guess I should do it. It's not like I've got anything to lose, it's already all gone anyway. I just wish there was a way to still be able to talk and not have it be weird, because I could sense the weirdness, which I why I told her she didn't have to humor me.

 

It may not be a good idea to try and be friends with her, but there's nothing more that I want than that. I can't have her out of my life for good. If she tells me she wants that, then I'll try. But until then, I want to do what I can to be friends with her again. I just don't know what I could do as a gesture for that. :/

[Dodgers27]

I wish you the best my friend. Its hard, but we will get through it.

 

It gets easier as time goes on. I'm doing better than I had been doing, you seem to be doing a bit better, and Kewl seems to be doing better than a couple weeks ago as well. Time does heal all wounds, but those wounds can never be fully healed. There's always going to be that scar to remind us of what happened. At times I've wanted to completely forget about everything, but then I wouldn't remember all the good times.

[justaguy123]

It gets easier as time goes on. I'm doing better than I had been doing, you seem to be doing a bit better, and Kewl seems to be doing better than a couple weeks ago as well. Time does heal all wounds, but those wounds can never be fully healed. There's always going to be that scar to remind us of what happened. At times I've wanted to completely forget about everything, but then I wouldn't remember all the good times.

 

Thanks, I am doing better.

 

You're right, time does heal, but it doesn't get rid of the pain completly.

 

Yeah I have the same feelings about remembering. I'm glad about the time I spent with my ex, I just wish that it wasn't so hard letting her go.

[Dodgers27]

Thanks, I am doing better.

 

You're right, time does heal, but it doesn't get rid of the pain completly.

 

Yeah I have the same feelings about remembering. I'm glad about the time I spent with my ex, I just wish that it wasn't so hard letting her go.

Exactly. If anything, at the very least it was a learning experience. There are mistakes I will not be making again with any future gfs. Plus my most cherished memories are with her, if I forgot everything i wouldn't have all those happy memories. I am just sitting here wishing that it's not the end with her completely. I want so much to be able to talk to her still. If only she felt the same...

[justaguy123]

Yeah I wish my ex felt the same but I know from me talking to her yesterday that she doesn't and that she doesn't want to try a relationship with me again.

 

That hurts, but just from talking to her I relize that she is a different person from the person I thought I was with. It's hard to find out that you thought you knew a person just to find out that that is not who they are. But now that I know, Im ready to move on. (still miss that girl I thought I was with though and I think I will always miss her)

[KewlBum]

It gets easier as time goes on. I'm doing better than I had been doing, you seem to be doing a bit better, and Kewl seems to be doing better than a couple weeks ago as well. Time does heal all wounds, but those wounds can never be fully healed. There's always going to be that scar to remind us of what happened. At times I've wanted to completely forget about everything, but then I wouldn't remember all the good times.

I don't think I have been doing better. There was one day (I think 4 days ago) where I didn't think baout her much, but every single other day has been her 24/7. The thing that's really bothering me right now is she doesn't want anything to do with me. We were eachother's first love and now she doesn't want me in her life. I made mistakes, yes, but I didn't do anything THAT bad. I didn't cheat on her, hit her, or anything like that. We talked on msn 1.5 weeks ago and I brought up our relationship again as well talked about a letter I wanted her to read(completely regret it). She said maybe unblocking me from msn was a mistake (i didn;t even know she blocked me to begin with). I haven't seen her sign on since then, I'm thinking maybe she blocked me again I texted her a happy easter text on sunday....no reply. I know that everyone will say don;t contact her at all and that you dont even want contact: go NC. But it REALLY sucks knowing how abruptly she just cuts me out of her life. I really want to send my email letter to her. It doesn't ask to get her back, it just explains my past actions in hopes that she won't think i"m an a-hole. I don't really care if she still does think of me as a bad guy after reading it, because then at least I know I had done all that I could. But considering she didn't reply to my text, said she doesnt want to read a letter when we were on msn, and that I think she blocked me again...if I sent it then she wouldn't read it. God, it's so hard to move on knowing this. If only I knew she would read it if I sent it, then I would send it right now and moving on would be a lot easier. The only thing I can do now is wait. Wait until a bit of time passes in hopes that she won;t be so cold anymore then I'll send it.

 

Anyways, right now there are 3 things in my opinion which is so hard to deal with:

1) Knowing she could so easily cut me out of her life

2) Needing her to read my email but knowing she wouldn't read it if i sent it now

3) TOO MANY things in life remind me of her.

 

I am just so miserable all the time. Constant wanting to cry.....all...the...time. I want so badly to see her face. I want so badly to explain myself. I want so badly for...anything

[starwolf242]

Kewl, I'm so sorry you feel like this. If you need her to read your email send it to her. There's more chance of her reading it if you send it than if you don't and frankly, girls are always curious, if she saw it unless what you did was awful, she'd probably read it. But since she knows she's getting an email from you at some point, maybe you should handwrite it? Send it to her house and then once she opens it she'll be sure to at least read a bit of it.

 

Most things in my life remind me of my ex and there are still times where I cry myself to sleep, but eventually you get used to not having them around. You get used to not talking to them, not seeing them, not having them in your life and just when you think you're finally ready to move on BAM! Something happens to drag you back in. I find it impossible to believe that they just stop thinking about us, but they are in a better place to distract themselves from the hurt because they were prepared for the end of the relationship.

 

It sounds to me like whatever you did you feel guilty about. The letter is a good idea. Send it to her. If she reads it or not is up to her but at least you know you tried to explain. And you never know, you might find she keeps it until she's in a better frame of mind and then reads it.

[justaguy123]

I am just so miserable all the time. Constant wanting to cry.....all...the...time. I want so badly to see her face. I want so badly to explain myself. I want so badly for...anything

 

I'm sorry, I still get those feelings too. Its hard I know, the way I get through it is that I tell myself that she is not the person I thought she was. The person I thought my ex was would never hurt me like she did and never be so cold towards me.

 

I relize that she has changed from that person I fell in love with. I'm not in love with the person she is now, I'm in love with the person I thought she was. I miss that person, but I tell myself that she doesn't exist anymore. It helps a little but it still hurts that I wont be able to hold that person again.

 

Moving forward is our only option.

[Dodgers27]

I'm sorry, I still get those feelings too. Its hard I know, the way I get through it is that I tell myself that she is not the person I thought she was. The person I thought my ex was would never hurt me like she did and never be so cold towards me.

 

I relize that she has changed from that person I fell in love with. I'm not in love with the person she is now, I'm in love with the person I thought she was. I miss that person, but I tell myself that she doesn't exist anymore. It helps a little but it still hurts that I wont be able to hold that person again.

 

Moving forward is our only option.

You're right, it does no good just thinking about what you use to have, the only problem is actually moving on is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There are some times that I think about her and I stop whatever I'm doing to think about her. Sometimes it feels like time slows down when I think about her, and if I see pictures of her...ughhhh, it's even worse.

 

I've never felt like this before. It's stemming off other feelings that hurt right now too. Shoot, even right now I'm actually getting hotter and feeling physically worse just thinking about her and the situation...holy crap this sucks.

[KewlBum]

You're right, it does no good just thinking about what you use to have, the only problem is actually moving on is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There are some times that I think about her and I stop whatever I'm doing to think about her. Sometimes it feels like time slows down when I think about her, and if I see pictures of her...ughhhh, it's even worse.

 

I've never felt like this before. It's stemming off other feelings that hurt right now too. Shoot, even right now I'm actually getting hotter and feeling physically worse just thinking about her and the situation...holy crap this sucks.

It sure does suck...big time. Whenever I see pictures of my ex...man, she is so beautiful. She is leagues above me in the looks department and all throughout our relationship I've always wondered how I was able to nab such a gorgeous girl. Now that beauty is turning into a nightmare. Everytime I see her picture or think about her, I see how beautiful she is and I just want to cry because I'm not with her anymore. I think the thing that most often reminds me of her are movies. She was a huge movie addict and we watched TONS of movies. Everytime I hear or think about a movie we watched together...my stomach turns inside out. I've really enjoyed the time we were together, I mean...I Loved her...and I still do. But this is getting to be too much. I'm starting to wish i just never knew her to begin with, never fell in love with her, never did anything with her...cuz then I wouldn't be feeling this pain I do right now.

[justaguy123]

It sure does suck...big time. Whenever I see pictures of my ex...man, she is so beautiful. She is leagues above me in the looks department and all throughout our relationship I've always wondered how I was able to nab such a gorgeous girl. Now that beauty is turning into a nightmare. Everytime I see her picture or think about her, I see how beautiful she is and I just want to cry because I'm not with her anymore. I think the thing that most often reminds me of her are movies. She was a huge movie addict and we watched TONS of movies. Everytime I hear or think about a movie we watched together...my stomach turns inside out. I've really enjoyed the time we were together, I mean...I Loved her...and I still do. But this is getting to be too much. I'm starting to wish i just never knew her to begin with, never fell in love with her, never did anything with her...cuz then I wouldn't be feeling this pain I do right now.

 

Yeah I felt like my ex was way more attractive than me too. i always wondered why she wanted me, but now I know I can get a beautiful girl like that, and know that I am good looking enough to get one.

 

Now I realize even if she looks good, that doesn't make up for the fact that she treated me so bad during the break up. I still think my ex is the most beautiful girl in the world, but I know that even if she has the same face as she did while we were going out, she is not the same person I fell in love with.

[justaguy123]

Just thought I would do an update on my situation. Im doing a lot better. That talk with my ex last week gave me a lot of closure on the situation(not complete but its all im going to get) . I still miss her somtimes but thats to be expected. I met a nice girl and we are going out on a date this week. So I just thought that I would tell all of you nice people who have been very supportive through all this that I am doing good.

[Dodgers27]

Just thought I would do an update on my situation. Im doing a lot better. That talk with my ex last week gave me a lot of closure on the situation(not complete but its all im going to get) . I still miss her somtimes but thats to be expected. I met a nice girl and we are going out on a date this week. So I just thought that I would tell all of you nice people who have been very supportive through all this that I am doing good.

That's really great man, congrats! I hope the date goes well.

[starwolf242]

Justaguy that is fantastic news! You've come a long way and I'm very proud of you. Let us know how the date goes. Best of luck.

[justaguy123]

Hey Im back. Well the date went well last week and I'm planning on seeing her again this weekend.

 

The only thing right now that has bugging me is that I have been having a lot of messed up dreams about my ex lately. I cant help it. It sucks, Im always down when I wake up because of them. She is such a b*tch in them, I dont want to think about her anymore, just want to close that chapter of my life.

 

Meh I'm sure they will pass

[starwolf242]

Lol that's so weird. I still occasionally have dreams about my ex. When we first broke up they were all ones where he would come crawling back to me, crying, apologising etc. Then i had an awful one where he married the girl he is with now (that had me depressed for days) and the occasionaly ones recently are him being a jack ass to me and me thinking god what a pr*ck but then him confessing he still loves me but thinks he doesn't deserve me and that's why he stays with her.

 

It's probably just your mind trying to sort out the shock of this new reality you find yourself in. Or maybe it's intuition? Who knows. Either don't pay much attention to it and try to tell yourself that they are just dreams especially the upsetting ones or maybe write them down and keep them safe somewhere and if anything changes in the future you can look back on them and see if it was intution after all.

 

So happy the date went well. Congratulations

[hater13]

you're ex sounds very selfish!!

 

If it's meant to be it'll be Just be happy with yourself now

[justaguy123]

you're ex sounds very selfish!!

 

If it's meant to be it'll be Just be happy with yourself now

 

Yeah she is very selfish, but she is not my concern anymore. I dont think it is meant to be so that's why I'm moving on. I still miss the person I was with and I think I always will, but I know she doesn't exist anymore and that she doesn't want anything to do with me now that she is in new relationship.

 

I am happy with myself . I have made so much progress since she left and continue to do so.

[justaguy123]

Ahhhhh the birthday conundrum. Today is her birthday. Yup Im think of her a lot today. No plans on calling her though, i know all she would say was thank you and then quickly want to leave the conversation. Im not going to message her at all today. Im just thinking about her and also wondering if she does expect some sort of happy birthday message.

 

Meh, I wish I could call her up and wish her a happy birthday, but the time when I can do that is in the past now.

 

Just venting a little bit.

 

Thanks

[ALombard]

Justaguy listen USMChokie is right in that he says. In fact it's from reading his replies to people that I'm doing so well myself. My ex did to me what yours did to you. She wanted a break then started dating someone else. You first off can't let that get to you. Accept that she has moved on and you need to do the same. Secondly, DO NOT talk to her about anything ever, don't even say "Hi" there is no point. Third, you are not going to get her back unless she wants to, nothing you say or do will help in that situation and you'll probably just end up looking like the crazy ex boyfriend. Fourth, take her off that mother ****ing pedestal you have her on. The first and second time my ex left me I thought that she was the most amazing, beautiful girl ever. I thought that I was the one who ****ed up and ruined everything, NOT TRUE. Once you stop "worshipping" your ex you'll feel better and it's easier to move on. Think of all her faults and stick to them. When you start thinking about her, think of all the things she has done or did when you were together that bugged you, pissed you off, etc. Good luck man

[justaguy123]

Hello again loveshackers, its been a while. Just thought I would post here cause Im still not over this girl for some reason. I still think about her a lot and I dont know why. Most of it seems to be coming from anger for what she did to me but behind that anger is a missing for the closeness we shared. I dont understand it, I know she is not good for me and I know she doesnt care about me at all , but the thoughts keep comming up. Its been 4 months since we broke up and I feel like in that time I have grown a lot and I feel like I should be over her. Im not though and I guess Im asking the question "how do I get her out of my head?" . I know no one has an answer to that question, not really, but its been on my mind. Ive seen other girls since her and Ive had good times with them but I dont feel that connection I did with her the first time I laid eyes on her. I dont know, I guess thats another question, "Will any love be better than first love?"

 

I think I know the answer to that one too but its hard to see it when I haven't felt it yet. Anyway just thought I would post and see what cha guys had to say.

[george54]

Hello again loveshackers, its been a while. Just thought I would post here cause Im still not over this girl for some reason. I still think about her a lot and I dont know why. Most of it seems to be coming from anger for what she did to me but behind that anger is a missing for the closeness we shared. I dont understand it, I know she is not good for me and I know she doesnt care about me at all , but the thoughts keep comming up. Its been 4 months since we broke up and I feel like in that time I have grown a lot and I feel like I should be over her. Im not though and I guess Im asking the question "how do I get her out of my head?" . I know no one has an answer to that question, not really, but its been on my mind. Ive seen other girls since her and Ive had good times with them but I dont feel that connection I did with her the first time I laid eyes on her. I dont know, I guess thats another question, "Will any love be better than first love?"

 

I think I know the answer to that one too but its hard to see it when I haven't felt it yet. Anyway just thought I would post and see what cha guys had to say.

 

how can they do it? how can a girl go from totally obssesed with you, totally in love, to simply not giving a **** and sleeping with another guy so quickly? i wish i could call my ex like you did dude... its been a month and i desperately need that sort of closure...