I like to drink...a lot

[amerikajin]

I'm wondering, if I have two or three drinks per night, is there any reason why I shouldn't?

 

I mean, I have my lines that I don't cross. I don't drink during the daytime (before six p.m.) unless it's a Saturday and there's a sporting event on. I usually don't drink any more than, say, three beers per night. I typically have two beers. Sometimes one, usually two, and occasionally three.

 

I haven't really felt guilty until I realized just how much a part of my routine it has become. I don't have the urge to drink before 6 p.m. and I usually wait until later, but I feel odd if I don't have a beer waiting for me in the fridge.

 

Any tales of woe from recovering drunkards who wish to tell me to stop right now? Or do I have things pretty much under control?

[sb129]

Why do you think its a problem?

 

Your drinking habits sound very similar to many people who live in my country!

 

My H and I have recently had to put restrictions on our alcohol consumption because it was getting waaaay too easy to polish off a bottle of wine between us every evening with our dinner. It became the thing we both looked forward to the most at the end of the day!

I think for us too it was "our" time, once work was over, the baby was in bed and all the chores were done- we would sit out on the porch and talk about our day over a glass or two.

 

I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with it to be honest- the only reason we have stopped is that it was getting too expensive and I really need to be serious about losing my pregnancy weight.

[blind_otter]

IME people don't ask whether they have an alcohol problem unless they do. I'm just saying. It doesn't cross your mind at all, unless there is something amiss.

 

I've known people who drink daily, even heavily, who don't even stop to think whether they have a problem.

 

You know what I'll say. If alcohol becomes something you depend on each day, or something you organize your life around, then that is a problem. If you feel the need to have a substance that is not nutritionally necessary for your survival every day, and you feel amiss if you go without, then that is a problem.

 

My thing about addiction, or even dependency, is this - I don't WANT to need something outside of myself to feel OK, or to enjoy myself. I spent many years that way and it sucks.

 

Also understand that alcohol consumption, if done every day, usually does increase over time because you naturally build up a tolerance. The bad thing about alcohol (versus something like pot, for example) is that as you build up a tolerance, your body actually starts to physically crave alcohol.

 

This is even more true if there is a family history of alcoholism, or if you have native american or asian ancestry. That's just a trick of genetics - those ethnicities have a higher tendency for alcohol allergies, which in a mild form can actually cause quick and deadly physical addiction, and in their full fledged form can cause anaphylactic shock with exposure to any kind of alcoholic beverage.

 

Here's an easy test. Go a month without drinking. Can you? Do you feel very uncomfortable, unhappy, stressed out, have difficulty coping with everyday life? Then you should seriously consider whether you really want to have those daily drinks.

[sb129]

Thanks B-O.

 

I didn't mean to sound flippant, and I realise that my post was a bit.. Sorry.

[Crusoe]

I used to drink, was very good at it too ;-). Quit years ago but nowadays usually have a couple in the evening, anymore than two and I "thirsty" again. IMO, that thirst is big difference between a healthy drink and unhealthy drink. If you can have 2 or 3, stop and have no real urge for more, I cant see any problem in regards to addiction.

 

However an old drinking friend one mine is adamant that anyone who consistently

drinks two a day is alcohol dependant. Maybe try a few nights without a drink, see how your body and mind react, if you feel yourself really craving a drink it might be best to ease off for a while.

Edited March 15, 2010 by Crusoe

[Art_Critic]

IME people don't ask whether they have an alcohol problem unless they do. I'm just saying. It doesn't cross your mind at all, unless there is something amiss.

 

I've known people who drink daily, even heavily, who don't even stop to think whether they have a problem.

 

You know what I'll say. If alcohol becomes something you depend on each day, or something you organize your life around, then that is a problem. If you feel the need to have a substance that is not nutritionally necessary for your survival every day, and you feel amiss if you go without, then that is a problem.

 

My thing about addiction, or even dependency, is this - I don't WANT to need something outside of myself to feel OK, or to enjoy myself. I spent many years that way and it sucks.

 

Also understand that alcohol consumption, if done every day, usually does increase over time because you naturally build up a tolerance. The bad thing about alcohol (versus something like pot, for example) is that as you build up a tolerance, your body actually starts to physically crave alcohol.

 

This is even more true if there is a family history of alcoholism, or if you have native american or asian ancestry. That's just a trick of genetics - those ethnicities have a higher tendency for alcohol allergies, which in a mild form can actually cause quick and deadly physical addiction, and in their full fledged form can cause anaphylactic shock with exposure to any kind of alcoholic beverage.

 

Here's an easy test. Go a month without drinking. Can you? Do you feel very uncomfortable, unhappy, stressed out, have difficulty coping with everyday life? Then you should seriously consider whether you really want to have those daily drinks.

 

........

[amerikajin]

IME people don't ask whether they have an alcohol problem unless they do. I'm just saying. It doesn't cross your mind at all, unless there is something amiss.

 

I've known people who drink daily, even heavily, who don't even stop to think whether they have a problem.

 

You know what I'll say. If alcohol becomes something you depend on each day, or something you organize your life around, then that is a problem. If you feel the need to have a substance that is not nutritionally necessary for your survival every day, and you feel amiss if you go without, then that is a problem.

 

My thing about addiction, or even dependency, is this - I don't WANT to need something outside of myself to feel OK, or to enjoy myself. I spent many years that way and it sucks.

 

Also understand that alcohol consumption, if done every day, usually does increase over time because you naturally build up a tolerance. The bad thing about alcohol (versus something like pot, for example) is that as you build up a tolerance, your body actually starts to physically crave alcohol.

 

This is even more true if there is a family history of alcoholism, or if you have native american or asian ancestry. That's just a trick of genetics - those ethnicities have a higher tendency for alcohol allergies, which in a mild form can actually cause quick and deadly physical addiction, and in their full fledged form can cause anaphylactic shock with exposure to any kind of alcoholic beverage.

 

Here's an easy test. Go a month without drinking. Can you? Do you feel very uncomfortable, unhappy, stressed out, have difficulty coping with everyday life? Then you should seriously consider whether you really want to have those daily drinks.

 

I have a family history of binge drinkers on both sides. My dad was a full-on alcoholic, who, in his worst fits, would get started pretty early in the morning and be utterly blasted by the time he got home at night. I've been drinking for years and I've never been like that, although it probably has to do with those boundaries I was referring to before. I don't drink during the day, typically, and I don't want to start.

 

I guess I'm more like my mother, who is a lot like her sister (my aunt) and my maternal grandmother. We all have a tendency to drink pretty regularly in the evening. Usually it's two glasses of something light. My mother and uncle are wine drinkers; my aunt and I like beer. In all cases, we have our nightly fix, but that's it. A light buzz and nothing more.

 

I guess what concerns me, when I actually stop to reflect on it, is the fact that there have been periods when I haven't drunk much at all. I went a year without drinking too much - an occasional light cocktail or something like it. Now, though, I'm a regular drinker. I guess I'm just wondering where that magic line is.

 

Your post is thought-provoking, Otter.

[blind_otter]

I glad I could provoke some thought. Hopefully it will be positive. I think anyone who drinks daily, or who drinks to the point of intoxication on a regular basis, or who drinks past the point of intoxication even sporadically, should at least stop to ponder their family history, ask themselves why they drink, and maybe even try some voluntary abstinence for a while.

 

If you are struggling with not drinking alcohol, then you might need some extra support. I have seen and experienced the results of "white knuckling" sobriety, and it is a dangerous game to play. People can get hurt, or worse.

[Enema]

My doctor told me that 3-4 units a day of alcohol is fine.

 

I wouldn't be worried. We have it beaten into us that:

- Alcohol is a terrible thing

- It's so easy to fall into alcoholism, and even

- The definition of alcoholic has been blurred so regular people like you think they might have a problem.

 

Enjoy it!

[skydiveaddict]

Three beers a night? nothing to worry about

[alphamale]

Any tales of woe from recovering drunkards who wish to tell me to stop right now? Or do I have things pretty much under control?

yea i drink fairly regularly and what happens over time is that the brain needs more and more booze to get the same buzz. thats why some alkies can drink a litre of vodka and still be fairly coherent.

 

i have 2 or 3 drinks per day but i can easily see myself starting to drink more if i don't quit. i look forward to the drinks to calm me down. that can't be a good thing.

 

i think that drinking everyday is a bad thing and can only spiral down

[burning 4 revenge]

IME people don't ask whether they have an alcohol problem unless they do. I'm just saying. It doesn't cross your mind at all, unless there is something amiss.

 

I've known people who drink daily, even heavily, who don't even stop to think whether they have a problem.

 

You know what I'll say. If alcohol becomes something you depend on each day, or something you organize your life around, then that is a problem. If you feel the need to have a substance that is not nutritionally necessary for your survival every day, and you feel amiss if you go without, then that is a problem.

 

My thing about addiction, or even dependency, is this - I don't WANT to need something outside of myself to feel OK, or to enjoy myself. I spent many years that way and it sucks.

 

Also understand that alcohol consumption, if done every day, usually does increase over time because you naturally build up a tolerance. The bad thing about alcohol (versus something like pot, for example) is that as you build up a tolerance, your body actually starts to physically crave alcohol.

 

This is even more true if there is a family history of alcoholism, or if you have native american or asian ancestry. That's just a trick of genetics - those ethnicities have a higher tendency for alcohol allergies, which in a mild form can actually cause quick and deadly physical addiction, and in their full fledged form can cause anaphylactic shock with exposure to any kind of alcoholic beverage.

 

Here's an easy test. Go a month without drinking. Can you? Do you feel very uncomfortable, unhappy, stressed out, have difficulty coping with everyday life? Then you should seriously consider whether you really want to have those daily drinks.

.........

[blind_otter]

My doctor told me that 3-4 units a day of alcohol is fine.

 

I wouldn't be worried. We have it beaten into us that:

- Alcohol is a terrible thing

- It's so easy to fall into alcoholism, and even

- The definition of alcoholic has been blurred so regular people like you think they might have a problem.

 

Enjoy it!

 

Um, do you really think someone would be asking if they had a problem with alcohol if they didn't suspect that they could?

[sally4sara]

I haven't really felt guilty until I realized just how much a part of my routine it has become. I don't have the urge to drink before 6 p.m. and I usually wait until later, but I feel odd if I don't have a beer waiting for me in the fridge.

 

Any tales of woe from recovering drunkards who wish to tell me to stop right now? Or do I have things pretty much under control?

 

Alcoholism is about how much or how often you drink. It isn't about what kind of alcohol you consume or what time of the day.

It is about the choices you make when you drink and the choices you make to continue drinking.

 

Does your drinking cause problems in your life? With your job, with your relationships? Does is drastically change your actions from the way you do things when sober?

 

If it isn't causing you problems in this manner, what you are dealing with is a potentially harmful developing routine that could come back on you. You can become physically dependent on any altering substance.

[Taramere]

Alcoholism is about how much or how often you drink. It isn't about what kind of alcohol you consume or what time of the day.

It is about the choices you make when you drink and the choices you make to continue drinking.

 

Does your drinking cause problems in your life? With your job, with your relationships? Does is drastically change your actions from the way you do things when sober?

 

If it isn't causing you problems in this manner, what you are dealing with is a potentially harmful developing routine that could come back on you. You can become physically dependent on any altering substance.

 

I'd agree with this. A friend of mine becomes pretty unpleasant and abusive when he's been drinking. He's gay, and has lost boyfriend after boyfriend as a result of his abusive and obnoxious behaviour when drunk. I've seen elements of that behaviour, but will tend to just put my coat on and leave at the first sign of him being a dick. We've discussed this a few times, and generally our meet-ups are arranged for times/situations where there won't be booze involved.

 

He'll raise the issue of whether he's got a drink problem...and then he'll start arguing vigorously that he doesn't. It's like he's trying to persuade me that he doesn't have a problem, even though I haven't put forth an opinion as to whether he does or doesn't. What I have told him is that I find him unpleasant and obnoxious when he's drunk. That it makes socialising with him unpleasant, a chore - and even mildly traumatic at times - rather than a pleasant occasion that I look forward to.

 

That shocked him a bit. I think drunks often truly believe that they are more fun, alive and interesting when they're under the influence. Rather than just being poisonous nightmares you want to get away from ASAP.

 

It's one of those tricky things. You don't want to abandon a friend, but at the same time I don't believe friendship is about putting up with abusive and unpleasant behaviour on a regular basis. I don't know what goes through people's heads when they persist in drinking even though they know full well (from experience) that it will result in them becoming verbally - or even, in some cases, physically - abusive. Causing great amounts of stress to, and alienating, the people who care about them.

 

When someone is at that stage, it's hard to believe that alcohol is something they can take or leave as opposed to being something they're addicted to.

[flc]

There are two main issues with alcohol, there is the medical/physical affect of drinking on your body. Alcohol tends to be a lot of empty calories and also is toxic and requires your liver to detoxify it. So from purely this aspect drinking every day will most likely increase your weight and put stress on your liver. A few beers are not going to kill you but it is additional stress.

 

In addition to the physical affects you have the mental affects and addiction. As with any drug if you find yourself focused on the drug more and more and finding that you are making bad choices due to the drinking and this is having a negative affect on your life then you have an addiction problem.

[JamesM]

One to two drinks a night (and that usually means wine but it can mean any alcoholic beverage) is good for your heart/blood pressure/health.

 

Any more than that is bad for you.

 

Here is an interesting article that answers the very question you ask.

http://www.realage.com/check-your-health/disease-prevention/alcohol-and-your-health

 

BTW, I am a non-drinker, so I certainly am not an advocate of drinking. However, after reading many books and articles about health, cholesterol, blood pressure and the heart in general, I have decided that some alcohol is good.

 

I still don't drink, but am considering adding a glass of wine each night to my routines.

 

My recommendation would be to cut back to no more than two beers a night and making that only one, might be better.

[blind_otter]

That shocked him a bit. I think drunks often truly believe that they are more fun, alive and interesting when they're under the influence. Rather than just being poisonous nightmares you want to get away from ASAP.

 

In AA they say there are 3 stages to alcoholism:

 

Fun

Fun with consequences

Pure, unadulterated consequences.

 

I think at first, drunks at fun. I was a riot when I was using, in the beginning. But as your tolerance builds, you drink more, and harder substances. Then you start acting like an asshat, but you don't realize it, but other people start to notice.

 

Finally you realize you act like an asshat when you drink, but no matter how many times you promise you'll stop drinking, you always eventually break down and give in.

 

Personally, I don't see any reason to "NEED" a mind altering substance every evening.

[flc]

Addictions frequently start out as fun. I know for me I spent a few years enjoying cocaine immensly. It was just a fun value add to the party, then it turned in to the reason to go to the party then it turned into staying at home so as not to share. It is a slippery slope, the lucky ones recognize that the situation is harmful and have the willpower to stop. many others don't and the consequences are a disaster for them and their loved ones.

 

The bottom line is really you never know how you will cope and do you really want to chance the fact that you will end up in the latter group and not the former.

[Quest]

Addictions frequently start out as fun. I know for me I spent a few years enjoying cocaine immensly. It was just a fun value add to the party, then it turned in to the reason to go to the party then it turned into staying at home so as not to share. It is a slippery slope, the lucky ones recognize that the situation is harmful and have the willpower to stop. many others don't and the consequences are a disaster for them and their loved ones.

 

The bottom line is really you never know how you will cope and do you really want to chance the fact that you will end up in the latter group and not the former.

 

Having worked with and known a lot of addicts of varying kinds I'm not sure I'd agree it's about willpower. We can all use willpower to stop doing something for a while but eventually we'll give in again unless we sincerely want to change. It is a slippery slope, though - in that there is a point after which it is very difficult to turn things around again. But even then, if someone really wants to change, they will. I've seen men who lived on the streets for years, drunk all day every day, turn their lives around.

[make me believe]

Oh geez. Alcoholics always want to believe that everyone else is an alcoholic in denial. There is nothing wrong with having a couple of drinks to unwind in the evening! If you feel like you NEED those drinks and you get anxious/upset/angry if you don't have them, or if you're drinking to the point where you're getting hammered every night, then yeah that's a problem. But a couple of beers while you relax after work? That is completely fine!

 

I do NOT agree that somebody asking about alcohol consumption means they have a problem with alcoholism. I think it's much more likely that, as Enema said, the definition of alcoholic has been blurred so much that suddenly almost ANY consumption is a huge deal or potential problem.

[Art_Critic]

Oh geez. Alcoholics always want to believe that everyone else is an alcoholic in denial.

 

I don't believe that is an accurate statement of the posts from this thread.

 

I do NOT agree that somebody asking about alcohol consumption means they have a problem with alcoholism.

 

While you may not agree with it the real reality is that a normal drinker doesn't ask THEMSELVES if they should stop..

and if they are asking others then that in itself is warning that their drinking has gotten to the point that it may be causing problems in their life.

 

Just ask a few normal drinkers if you want to know.. I have... ..

[gtrplayer]

A light buzz and nothing more

 

Here in lies the problem... is this "light buzz" what you're looking for nightly?

 

Seriously... ask yourself the question, "why do I drink?" Can you answer it hontestly??

 

All deniable alcoholics will instantly defend their actions by saying, "I enjoy the taste." Yea, Ok... DO YOU?? No... you have come to enjoy the taste... you have "aquired" a taste for beer, wine, or whatever it is...

 

Remember your very first drink of beer?? Did you like it? SERIOUSLY... did you take your first sip and say, "WoW!!! now THAT is refreshingly GOOD! Yummmmm!"

 

Same with wine or with liquor or whatever... we have to MIX alcohol with soft drinks to make it palatable to most people... why not just drink jet fuel??? Amazing... WE HAVE AQUIRED THE TASTE and tolorate the taste and we THINK that it tastes good now.

 

So despite the argument, excuse or defense... we don't drink for the taste... we drink for the effect that we have come to "learn" of...

 

"Just a light buzz" is a PERFECT example... you are dependant on the "light buzz" that you feel... the good feeling that you get from those three frosty cold beers. Frosty cold beers even sounds good doesn't it?? Mmmmmm... yes it does! It's all in our minds.

 

Also, when we consistently defend actions by saying things like, "It's not EVERY night, it's not ALWAYS three or two and sometimes NONE!! Look at ME!!! SOMETIMES I can have NONE! Yayyyyyy for me!!!!

 

I would assert the following....

 

If you have sought out a forum or a thread within a forum or however you can defend the actions of actually arriving to this wonderful forum and then clicking on the link to open this forum, take the time to type your short story and then ASK the question... then yes, there is a problem. However, as we say, the FIRST step is knowing! So that's good.

 

Now, my disclaimer for you as you're probably fumed at me....

I have the SAME issue as you... I LOVE LOVE L O V E cold beer! Ohhhh I could drink it every freakin day! My parents are full blown alcoholics and again, I love beer! I struggle and do my best to NOT drink every night... sometimes I don't... I don't "think" I need to...but in the end, I usually end up pulling out a beer or two... it's a problem.

 

I've learned quite a bit about this issue and am doing my best to realize that this daily/every other day/other other day, or whatever defense or rationale I can come up with that it IS in fact an issue. I think sometimes.... how many other people on my street right now at 9pm at night have had two beers tonight, and the night before and the night before?? Hmmmmmm.....

 

Anyway... best of luck... my apologies for my directness and if I seem harsh. Just trying to help.

Edited April 26, 2010 by gtrplayer

[Meaplus3]

One to two drinks a night (and that usually means wine but it can mean any alcoholic beverage) is good for your heart/blood pressure/health.

 

Any more than that is bad for you.

 

Here is an interesting article that answers the very question you ask.

http://www.realage.com/check-your-health/disease-prevention/alcohol-and-your-health

 

BTW, I am a non-drinker, so I certainly am not an advocate of drinking. However, after reading many books and articles about health, cholesterol, blood pressure and the heart in general, I have decided that some alcohol is good.

 

I still don't drink, but am considering adding a glass of wine each night to my routines.

 

My recommendation would be to cut back to no more than two beers a night and making that only one, might be better.

 

 

Great post James. I agree with all that is said here. I'll add that I'm a non drinker myself. And you know if your looking.. to recieve a health benefit from drinking.. but you have an issue with alcohol, you can get the same sort of benes from a couple of glasses of grape juice per day. Good luck to you.

 

Mea:)

[2sunny]

In AA they say there are 3 stages to alcoholism:

 

Fun

Fun with consequences

Pure, unadulterated consequences.

 

I think at first, drunks at fun. I was a riot when I was using, in the beginning. But as your tolerance builds, you drink more, and harder substances. Then you start acting like an asshat, but you don't realize it, but other people start to notice.

 

Finally you realize you act like an asshat when you drink, but no matter how many times you promise you'll stop drinking, you always eventually break down and give in.

 

Personally, I don't see any reason to "NEED" a mind altering substance every evening.

 

there are four types of alcoholics.

 

the real alcohol (actively drinking)

dry (no drinking)

recovering

recovered

 

if you quit drinking and the mind is obsessing or thinking about wanting to have it more than you are willing to admit or - you are hoping for... then you may have a problem. when you quit for a while do you show any signs of physical withdrawal (shakes etc.)?

 

the addiction is both physical and mental. the body tells us we've had more than enough but the mind keeps saying to have more. abstinence works best at that point... AA helps with the mental obsession area.