Nicole11 Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 I know that when you find out your husband is cheating it is devestating. But come on, you felt something wasnt right. What I don't get is why all the hate to the OW. I find it appalling this "women should stand behind women" menatality, Really? Why? The reaction is so hatefull to the OW, and many times unjustly. Many times women do not know the men are married! By the time they find out, they are IN a relationship. Yes, it is a relationship. Why not feel for her? She gets hurt as well. Where is her support? So that is a hypocritical statement. I am watching two married men I work with right now who are married, but have the girlfriends with them on this job right now. (I work out of town). I have never been the OW, but I know some who are. Trust me when I say, your man does too care for her. If it is long term? Yes, he cares very much. I see how they treat her, how she treats him, it is romantic, sensual and it is an adult relationship. All this " he is using her", not what I am seeing, I am watching a man in love. I work in a male dominated industry and see it quite a bit. Do they leave the wife? some do, some don't. But make no mistake, the relationship is real. Don't assume that because he doesn't leave his wife he doesn't care about the OW, some are staying so they don't loose half of what they have earned, kids, what ever. But don't think he stays because he loves the wife so much, if he did, he would NOT be in another relationship. He has already checked out. Why would you want to stay with a man who has been intimate with another woman? Making love, going out to dinners, trips, all the things he USED to do for you is now bestowed upon another. Because YOU don't want to lose half of what has been built, savings, kids, a life. I get it. I do. To many people blame the other woman, "how dare she" etc, the sanctity of a married couple, what ever, that is baloney. I know the wives and know the girlfriends. Let me tell you what I have seen, I work with these guys, they are hardworking, decent guys, not overly handsome, but attractive, charming. I have met a few of the wives as well, it has been interesting. WOW, is all I can say. No wonder he looked elsewhere, some of you sit and count his drinks, tell him to quiet down if he is being a little tipsy, and letting off steam, and treat him like he is a boy, you are not his mother. And for gods sake dress like a woman. Act like a woman. It amazes me how many let them selves go, then cry the blues because he moved on to another. I feel bad for the wives when they come to town for a weekend, he takes her out to eat, (some probably could skip a few meals), he screws her, he looks bored. I see them out, I am watcing this. It is not the man I see with the girlfriend. Both of these men seem much happier with the girlfriend, one has been a long, long relationship. She is treated to wonderful trips, great evenings out, she is beautiful. She does not think twice about the wife. And neither does he. It is amazing to me to watch how this works. So to ask what do they think of the wives? I don't know. Ladies, if your man is cheating, I am not saying it is your fault, but in some cases it truly is, the sexy woman he married has turned into a frumpy, MOTHER (his exact words!), yes, I know how hard it is to balance work, kids and a man. but the man must come first to your friends, your family, even your kids! Your relationship should always come first. I talked to one of them about his situation, he stays with his wife " I feel bad for her" He is in love with the girlfriend, but feels bad for his wife, the girlfriend doesnt care. She has his heart, alot of his time. And don't for a minute think they do not celebrate holidays. Don't think she is 'getting the short end of the stick', quiet the contrary, she gets treated very well from what I am seeing. He does love the wife, but 'in love' no more. He stays because he cant afford to lose half his things, he truly doesnt want to hurt his kids, trust me when I say the girlfriend in this case understands, she too has kids. She does not want his kids hurt. Ladies, I know I sound like a broken record on this, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES, eat right, exersise, keep your hair styled, dress and be the woman you should be!! I felt so bad for both of the wives I met, but seeing how they acted and treated their men, vs how the men were with the girlfriend was like night and day. Be a woman. You are not his mother. THESE MEN HATE THAT! I know I am going to get blasted by this, and that there are many, many different twists to this. I am just saying what I am seeing right infront of me everyday right now. It is crazy. So if you truly believe in the "women should stand up for women", it has to be two sided. They get hurt too. Those relationships are just as real, in the heart and body and soul as a married one. The feelings are the same. So think about that. Before you put down the OW. She is a woman to, have her back too. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) sorry, kiddo – an adulter is using both his/her spouse and his affair partner. While this person convinces him/herself that they're "staying for the kids" ... or because they "feels sorry" for their spouse ... the only reason he/she isn't making a move in either direction is because this person understands that he/she has got it really, really good. see, someone who cheats only has to give part of his/herself to the spouse, and part to the person who is the relationship on the side. While THOSE to folks are giving that person EVERYTHING. Think about it: It's not a balanced, honest relationship, but one based on subterfuge and dishonesty and lies. The man who cheats on his wife lies to her about being faithful; and he lies to the chick he's sleeping with to keep the peace. While I don't doubt that there are problems in those marriages, how easy is it to make himself the victim of an "unloving" wife, who "doesn't understand him?" And how many of these big-hearted women, who just want a man of their own to love, buy into his lies? John Edwards' mistress has an interview out about her affair with the politician, and one of her complaints was basically about how Edwards' wife bossed him around, and didn't understand him ... please. Unless she's been in the marriage, she only understand the dynamic of it based solely on what her married lover tells her. And you think he's gonna be on the up and up about something like that if it means endangering this nice little racket he's got going? you ask why don't these women blame the men for screwing around on them, but focus on the mistress. While there is bound to be fall-out and she's got to deal with the mistress, ultimately, her legal and moral bond is with the jackass she married. And though she is probably angry with him, she has an obligation to make/heal that relationship. If she's smart, she'd kick him to the curb, because my thought is if he doesn't respect her enough to be solely in a relationship with her, she's better off without him. The other woman can have the relationship with the philanderer. I agree that wives need to have their best game face on, but let's be honest here: No one can read minds. If a man doesn't feel attracted to his partner because she looks like a schlub, there are ways he can approach the topic and encourage her to look nice for him/etc, instead of completely cutting himself off from her and looking for fresh meat grazing in greener pastures. as much as you squawk about wives needing to stand up for the women who are banging their husbands, those mistresses need to hold their lovers accountable, too. Edited March 15, 2010 by quankanne Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 I couldn't agree more, which is why I have never turned into the frumpy MOTHER, but my H still cheated on me. I feel sorry for everyone. Usually the BS that attacks maybe does not see it from every angle. Then there are OW out there that still pursue the relationship with MM knowing he is M. Then there is the BS (me ) who has a revenge A with her XOM who has a long-term girlfriend ( i knew about her, but I didn't care that he was cheating on her). There are all kinds of scenarios. It really doesn't do anyone any good by bashing at all. Cheating happens and people get hurt. the unfortunate part is the fallout and the children. Not sure why you felt a need to go on and on like this. Are you an OW? You have very strong POV. But not every BS is what you are saying. I am beautiful, successful, in great shape, humorous, a good mother, a great friend, and it still happened to me. Link to post Share on other sites
moaningmyrtle Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 I know that when you find out your husband is cheating it is devestating. But come on, you felt something wasnt right. What I don't get is why all the hate to the OW. I find it appalling this "women should stand behind women" menatality, Really? Why? The reaction is so hatefull to the OW, and many times unjustly. Many times women do not know the men are married! By the time they find out, they are IN a relationship. Yes, it is a relationship. Why not feel for her? She gets hurt as well. Where is her support? So that is a hypocritical statement. I am watching two married men I work with right now who are married, but have the girlfriends with them on this job right now. (I work out of town). I have never been the OW, but I know some who are. Trust me when I say, your man does too care for her. If it is long term? Yes, he cares very much. I see how they treat her, how she treats him, it is romantic, sensual and it is an adult relationship. All this " he is using her", not what I am seeing, I am watching a man in love. I work in a male dominated industry and see it quite a bit. Do they leave the wife? some do, some don't. But make no mistake, the relationship is real. Don't assume that because he doesn't leave his wife he doesn't care about the OW, some are staying so they don't loose half of what they have earned, kids, what ever. But don't think he stays because he loves the wife so much, if he did, he would NOT be in another relationship. He has already checked out. Why would you want to stay with a man who has been intimate with another woman? Making love, going out to dinners, trips, all the things he USED to do for you is now bestowed upon another. Because YOU don't want to lose half of what has been built, savings, kids, a life. I get it. I do. To many people blame the other woman, "how dare she" etc, the sanctity of a married couple, what ever, that is baloney. I know the wives and know the girlfriends. Let me tell you what I have seen, I work with these guys, they are hardworking, decent guys, not overly handsome, but attractive, charming. I have met a few of the wives as well, it has been interesting. WOW, is all I can say. No wonder he looked elsewhere, some of you sit and count his drinks, tell him to quiet down if he is being a little tipsy, and letting off steam, and treat him like he is a boy, you are not his mother. And for gods sake dress like a woman. Act like a woman. It amazes me how many let them selves go, then cry the blues because he moved on to another. I feel bad for the wives when they come to town for a weekend, he takes her out to eat, (some probably could skip a few meals), he screws her, he looks bored. I see them out, I am watcing this. It is not the man I see with the girlfriend. Both of these men seem much happier with the girlfriend, one has been a long, long relationship. She is treated to wonderful trips, great evenings out, she is beautiful. She does not think twice about the wife. And neither does he. It is amazing to me to watch how this works. So to ask what do they think of the wives? I don't know. Ladies, if your man is cheating, I am not saying it is your fault, but in some cases it truly is, the sexy woman he married has turned into a frumpy, MOTHER (his exact words!), yes, I know how hard it is to balance work, kids and a man. but the man must come first to your friends, your family, even your kids! Your relationship should always come first. I talked to one of them about his situation, he stays with his wife " I feel bad for her" He is in love with the girlfriend, but feels bad for his wife, the girlfriend doesnt care. She has his heart, alot of his time. And don't for a minute think they do not celebrate holidays. Don't think she is 'getting the short end of the stick', quiet the contrary, she gets treated very well from what I am seeing. He does love the wife, but 'in love' no more. He stays because he cant afford to lose half his things, he truly doesnt want to hurt his kids, trust me when I say the girlfriend in this case understands, she too has kids. She does not want his kids hurt. Ladies, I know I sound like a broken record on this, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES, eat right, exersise, keep your hair styled, dress and be the woman you should be!! I felt so bad for both of the wives I met, but seeing how they acted and treated their men, vs how the men were with the girlfriend was like night and day. Be a woman. You are not his mother. THESE MEN HATE THAT! I know I am going to get blasted by this, and that there are many, many different twists to this. I am just saying what I am seeing right infront of me everyday right now. It is crazy. So if you truly believe in the "women should stand up for women", it has to be two sided. They get hurt too. Those relationships are just as real, in the heart and body and soul as a married one. The feelings are the same. So think about that. Before you put down the OW. She is a woman to, have her back too. Hmm - so does this mean that you've found out that guy you are/were seeing back in Jan and Feb is married or in a LTR? I just read you story from the start and that was the first thing I thought of. I hope for your sake I was wrong but I'm sorry if that's how it is. I don't think this sort of attack on BWs is appropriate in this forum especially under the guise that it is somehow "for" them. Link to post Share on other sites
crazycatlady Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 Honey, if you aren't one of the four women involved, then you have no real clue what its like. You are outside looking in. Not involved and are not privy to what's going on. Of course the girlfriend is funner to be with, she isn't the one left at home with kids, households, pets, cars, everything to take care of. They just get to have fun together. There is no sick kids to worry and take care of (a pain with a spouse who isn't home). No resentment built up because all household chores all care for kids etc comes from one person, because the other is gone. When I found out about my H's affair the only thing that pissed me off - everything else just hurt - was the fact that there wasn't a way I could compete with her in the fun catagory. I can't run off and have weekend trips with him, no one to watch the kids! I have to juggle those. I can't just go out for nice dinners out, and nice meals in, are a struggle too because kids are there interrrupting though we do try. I have to be responsible because he's obviously not being reponsible. I have no idea why you are idolizing those men. You have no idea if the men are telling you the truth, or if they are just trying to get you to feel sorry for them so you don't rat their asses out. You have no idea what goes on back home. Sure they can say one thing, but men wanting both will lie, obviousl they have loads of practice, what's one more? CCL Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nicole11 Posted March 15, 2010 Author Share Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) No he was not married, a serial dater, for sure, I was burned - bad - I learned my lesson. I was totaly humilated and hurt, but he was not married, not that I know of anyway. He seems to juggle women, not just me. I was trying to say that women need to be there for each other and not to blame the other woman. I am watcing this unfold infront of me everyday. The man is the one who can stop this. I listen to them talk, I watch it all. It amazes me how this works. I did not word that very well at all. I am not blaming wives, I am not blaming the OW, the men can say no. I think women need to support BOTH women in these situations. There are so many questions as to what they think etc, I was telling what I am seeing and hearing. What the men are saying and how they act, and how maybe women can better themselves, for themselves, what I hear men say. That is all. I too have been very hurt, my husband didnt cheat as far as I know, but I was made a total fool of by a man who claimed to love me, blah blah. It was hard to get over, so don't make fun of me for that, I was humilated for sure. But I am no fool and walked, just as I would if I were to date a man and find he was married. People on this site ask all the time, whats this mean, whats that mean, all I was doing was saying what I am hearing, seeing everyday, Just not to well I guess. Edited March 15, 2010 by Nicole11 Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 I see your post an honest attempt at warning wives to stay fit and to put their Hs above all and that is good advice. But remember that sometimes there are other reasons to cheat. My MM's W is in great shape and in great health so there is no reason to complain there. If anything, he would complain about me! I will say, however, she can be like a mother to him and I say it respectfully. I don't know if I would be any different if I were in her shoes. Well, yes I would but because I have had lots of time to ponder it as well as I'm just a very self-aware person. I know what my faults are physically and emotionally. Sometimes an A can occur because he has a sex addiction or he has no emotional connection or no real intimacy during sex. The list can go on and on but your post is good for starters. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nicole11 Posted March 15, 2010 Author Share Posted March 15, 2010 Maybe I am jealous watching them have these wonderful romances like I thought I had and I don't want these woman bashed, I miss those fun dates, the trips etc. I miss feeling special, its kind of bittersweet to see it in front of me day after day. But it gives me hope that it still is out there - NOT with a married man, but with some man. Im signing off. I did not mean to irritate anyone. My apologies. Link to post Share on other sites
crazycatlady Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 No, I don't think the OP is trying to help. It really did feel like she is putting down the married woman. And I'm usually the first to give the benefit of doubt to the OW. I feel for most of them. I truly do. But this...is stiring the pot. CCL Link to post Share on other sites
datura_noir Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 So, why do you think mine stayed?? 1. We weren't married 2.We had no kids 3.We owned no property nor assets 4.I was and still am in great shape:36-25-38 5.I always made friends with and accepted any female friends, and gave him alot of freedom, as he did me 6.My job provides us with ample income and I am self-sufficient 7.He and I share a few interesting hobbies 8.We were teenage lovers Maybe he stayed for the cable tv???The goldfish??Or the garden?? Before advising others to look in the mirror, I suggest you do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Nicole I appreciate your defense of the OW but WOW based on what you say, xMM should have had the affair with his W and not looked twice at me. She is in great shape, good at everything (sports, cooking decorating, hostess) she is renowned for her style, she is witty and charming and and and I am not half of the things that she is based on the list that you set out. Its not all glamour being the OW and while some men may cheat because their wives dont take care of themselves that sounds like a load of rubbish to me (grow up she may be home with 3 small children all day and be exhausted). Lets not forget Billy Joel cheated on Christie Brinkley... Link to post Share on other sites
Heather1 Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I just don't know if it's ever a good idea to start a relationship without leaving one first. Just makes it complicated all the way around. There's no right answer here. All I know is the one who's been going through the most amount of pain so far is me, not OM's W. If she knew, I'm sure she'd be devastated. Link to post Share on other sites
datura_noir Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I just wanted to add, the MM in the situation really need to look at themselves a whole lot. Why do we women defend them so? They're not babies. Women are much more emotionally mature in most cases; the men get alot of free passes. Just for the record, I gave my husband hell:eek: before I even considered reconciling and marrying. The OW only got one sixteenth of what I gave him, and that's only because I knew her personally. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I just wanted to add, the MM in the situation really need to look at themselves a whole lot. Why do we women defend them so? They're not babies. Women are much more emotionally mature in most cases; the men get alot of free passes. Just for the record, I gave my husband hell:eek: before I even considered reconciling and marrying. The OW only got one sixteenth of what I gave him, and that's only because I knew her personally. Like I've said many times, sometimes the H just makes a mistake by having an A. (and I'm the OW) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nicole11 Posted March 16, 2010 Author Share Posted March 16, 2010 (edited) I am not stirring the pot. I am not sarcastic or rude. I will be the first to admit my post did not come out as I meant, I work with men who at this very minute are in pretty heavy affairs, one is long term. I hear what they are saying, I can hear them talk to the wife, and girlfriend. Maybe I did not write this as well as it could have been written, but the fact remains, both women are getting hurt here. And the men are pretty up front on WHY they have a girlfriend, and I addressed that rather poorly in my first post, Because I sympathize with the OW as well, that makes ME bad? No, it does not. To many people ask why affairs happen, I am sitting in the thick of two of them, listening to what the men say, and have seen these couples out. I have met the wives, and I know the girlfriends as they are here. I am not and have not ever been the other woman. I have read the comments, and yes, while I agree I am not talking from experience, as far as I know my ex never cheated on me, nor have I dated a married man. I never said I was, and to subject that onto me? Doesn't bother me. I have had conversations with these guys on why THEY are having affairs, again, see first post, I am within ear shot of many many conversations these men are having about the affairs and the wives and girlfriends, and WHY they are doing it. I hear them talk about multiple cell phones, taking large chunks of cash out so they have not credit card receipt, how to clean the car, how to hide the evidence, (extra shirts/shorts at the office, just an FYI) cabs, which hotels, and why. My original post, while it comes across as wife bashing, is based on what I learned from the men in the affairs, it was not pretty, it was harsh, I realize that, but that is what I am hearing. I was in a bad spot and people on this site helped me through a horrendous time. Since then, I have read many posts on here and this column was interesting to me because of what I am witnessing at work. I am not saying affairs are ok, not at all!! I hear the lies told to both women, I see how the men make this all work. Or so they think, I have heard them talk about WHY they cheat, (again, this is the men I work with) They are indeed lying to both woman. I will stand by that BOTH women need support, you have no idea what is being said to either woman, I hear the conversations on their phones, I sit 6 feet away, they know I can hear. I hear the tone with the wife, I hear the tone with the Girlfriend. Ive heard the lies to them both. I hear him swear nothing is going on while the girlfriend is walking in the door, or tell the girlfriend his wife blew a fortune at the mall so they can't go out, and all that bull****, when in fact they just purchased a car for one of the kids. I hear all that. I also hear WHY the affair, so why is that so bad to let women know what I heard? why? I know it is not a comfortable topic. But if it helps one woman gain back her self esteem, take care of herself as a person, to be the best she can be, to realize you should make your husband first, and if he goes? let him. He moved on. Yes, it hurts of course. Life is not fair. I know I have not been cheated on, well Yes I guess I was with the man I started dating after my divorce, the man who loved me soooo much, he ripped my heart out, and humiliated me, but he is NOT married, a player for sure, but I walked away! I refused to be treated like that, as bad as it hurt there was no way in hell I was going to be treated like that. Either one of these woman can do the same, its their choice to stay in the mud. Either way, BOTH women get hurt. and back to my "women should stand by women" yes, even the other woman. Go ahead and make snide comments, it won't hurt me or make me feel bad. You are all entitled to your opinions. I am seeing BOTH sides. To the women being cheated on? I am sorry for your pain, it is your choice to take him back if you want and I wish you the best. To the other woman? if you knew he is married? why? If you did'nt know he was married? Ouch, but now you have some decisions, either way ladies, ultimately, it was the mans choice. There is a reason. Why? I have no idea, I just know what the men I work with are saying Edited March 16, 2010 by Nicole11 Link to post Share on other sites
datura_noir Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Just to re-iterate my statement... It all come back to "the man or woman". Why? If they would look at all their past relationship failures (and their present) the common denominator is.... HIM!(or her) Good luck in trying to get them to see that. In most cases, it takes YEARS (I'm talkin' at least 10) of IC for them to really see their own issues in creating drama in their lives. You should be concentrating on your job and not eavesdropping on other people's personal bull****. You would benefit from doing so. They are screwing themselves, don't worry about them. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 You only hear portions of it. You have NO CLUE what goes on behind closed doors between the MM and his wife. You seem to blame the MM's wives. Uhhmm, seems to me, your male co-workers aren't innocent and chances are, each one of them have major flaws...Which lead them to cheat. Their wives didn't put a gun to their heads and say CHEAT! They did that all on their own.. Reguardless of what is going on in their marriages, doesn't give the justification to go and betray their spouses in the worst way possible. but the fact remains, both women are getting hurt here. Fact - An OW knowingly goes into the affair knowing FULL WELL the guy she's about to have sex with, is MARRIED. Fact - The wife is clueless and being lied to, being cheated on. Your opening post may not have meant to come across the way it did, but it seems these types of threads don't help anyone, they only cause a war to start between BS's and OW's. Everyone has been respectful and getting along well, so LS (loveshack) doesn't need these types of threads which cause some people to react harshly. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 You really aren't seeing both sides, not in a work environment when you hear snipets of conversations and justifications as to why these coworkers of yours cheat. You think any of them are going to admit their faults? No, they blame their wives, exaggerate, and omit truths. I would bet my life on it that most of them (like how many MM are cheating that you work with??) have huge egos and feel entitled to do whatever they please. Cops? Dr's? Firefighters? Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 There are numerous excuses for why A's happen, but ultimately only one reason...choice. For whatever reasons, my opinion is lack of healthy coping skills, A's always boil down to the choice to lie. No amount of she's fat, she won't have sex, he doesn't make enough, he works too much and doesn't pay me nay attention, blah, blah blah. Looks have as much to do with it cheating as Halle' Berry ugly. The snide remarks came from the way your words came across. It was offensive to many, OW and BS alike. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 And you work with the 'girlfriends'...Let me ask. How many of them have met the wives? And with that said, how many of them 'bash' or put down MM's wife behind his back? Or do they feel bad? I am honestly curious since you seem to know the rundown and alot of details of these men and women you work with daily.. Link to post Share on other sites
John Who Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Nicole11 tisk,tisk Maybe he treated you like crap and ripped your heart out because you were not pretty enough for him,maybe he did not like your hair style,maybe he would rather be with someone who has better hair a better body, firmer tits. Maybe next time when you want to give people advice on how to groom themselves to keep a man,you should take you own. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Nicole11 tisk,tisk Maybe he treated you like crap and ripped your heart out because you were not pretty enough for him,maybe he did not like your hair style,maybe he would rather be with someone who has better hair a better body, firmer tits. Maybe next time when you want to give people advice on how to groom themselves to keep a man,you should take you own. John, Tsk, Tsk at you, too. Nicole certainly does not speak for everyone on these boards, but she is entitled to her opinion and should be allowed to speak it. Just because she chose to take a few stabs at people, doesn't mean you should as well. Just think, if we all did that, all of us would be walking around bleeding and this should be a place for healing. Nicole, I am shocked to hear you "warn" the spouses to "take care" of themselves. I do not know what you are hearing/seeing, but I would have to say it is a rare case where a woman's physical beauty or lack thereof has ANYTHING to do with her husband's choice to stray. Generally the decision to have an affair has to do with the cheater, and the way that they are CONNECTING EMOTIONALLY with their spouse. Perhaps you are privy to information as a third party that you felt you needed to share, but I would say that those of us who are in the "trenches" are really better able to see what is going on in our own relationships than someone who hears pockets of conversations, and sees mere moments of our lives. Link to post Share on other sites
crazycatlady Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Hey FA, thanks for chiming in And FO has a huge point, it does tend to be more emotional. Or something other then physical. I never stopped turning H on. I could bend over in the right pair of jeans and get a salute. Its not physical. And the emotional isn't always the wife has turned into a mother either. My own and only sin in that aspect is I am a horrible terrible like "Keeping up with Appearances" (if you know the show) type of back seat driver. I've tried so hard to stop being on, it just....comes out. I can't stop it. We joke about it most of the time, but I know it annoys him and I'm honestly trying but its hard. Course the one time I managed not to do it, he almost crashed into the construction cones Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Hey FA, thanks for chiming in And FO has a huge point, it does tend to be more emotional. Or something other then physical. I never stopped turning H on. I could bend over in the right pair of jeans and get a salute. Its not physical. And the emotional isn't always the wife has turned into a mother either. My own and only sin in that aspect is I am a horrible terrible like "Keeping up with Appearances" (if you know the show) type of back seat driver. I've tried so hard to stop being on, it just....comes out. I can't stop it. We joke about it most of the time, but I know it annoys him and I'm honestly trying but its hard. Course the one time I managed not to do it, he almost crashed into the construction cones LMAOOOO.. I am now imagining Hyacinth with a cat tattoo!!! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 My Dad always looked happier when he was out with his OWs too. I don't think that means much though, other than the fact that he enjoyed their company when he had time to spare. I can't imagine having an affair and frowning when out with your secret lover. What a downer. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts