Upset over separated H's financial issues

[Spinning Head]

H and I have been separated for over 1.5 years. Although we've agreed to the terms of a property distribution, it has not been reduced to writing. We've gotten along fairly well since the separation - there have been occasional issues that created some strain but we've pushed through them.

 

H hasn't been consistent with paying child support and, again, I've not pushed the issue except to tell him that I need his help financially. I've paid for our daughter's private school tuition/costs, summer camps, our son's daycare, and the usual clothing, etc. Daycare alone is $800/month.

 

It's time for our son to attend school and I suggested to H that we each pay for one child.

 

Last night, H and I discussed reducing our agreement to writing. I mentioned private school again and that a decision needs to be made by next week.

 

H told me that he has incurred $20K in credit card debt since we separated 1.5 years ago! He has nothing to show for this debt. H has no car payment, I've maintained car insurance on his car. He only has rent and month to month expenses.

 

Finances were an issue throughout our marriage. H believed that we should have a certain lifestyle which caused problems.

 

The decision to separate was a difficult decision and I still feel guilt over our separation and my failure to make the marriage work. It bothers me that H has created such a financial hole for himself and I do not understand how it happened.

[unsureLP]

Is there a particular reason you are still paying for his bills (i.e. insurance) when he doesn't even pay his part of child expenses? Is it because you feel guilty over separating?

 

It's his responsibility to live within his own means and he got himself into this pickle. Think about the example he's giving your children. I think you need to rethink your financial strategy when it comes to him. It's a good idea to go ahead and write up your financial divisions. If he has creditors coming up to take stuff, could they take your assets too?

 

I hope you get things sorted out soon. Good luck!