A 5 month long, long distance break up.

[guiltypleasures]

I distanced my girlfriend after 8 months of serious dating.

We planned a life together, dreamt of a home, of kids and all that. But after 8 months, I began to withdraw. I lost all interest in her and began distancing her. At the same time I had moved to a different city and thus the long distance thing further catalysed the process. I virtually gave her hell for two months. Had shallow conversations, ignored her all day long, etc etc. She never openly spoke out against it but the resentment began to bottle up inside her. Then all of a sudden, she called me up to tell me she wanted to break up. I being a rookie naturally bagan begging and pleeding. She agreed to give it one more shot. It was apparent she was still madly in love with me. She just didn't want her self-respect to be bashed any longer. So. I overcompensated and ended up being the wussy. This probably turned her off to the point of no return. Then SHE began giving me hell. No talking on the phone at night. She became outrageously close to her gang of friends and almost completely cut me out of her life. This went on for a 2 months before she decided to end it. 3 days later, we were together again thanks to my 'reasoning', yes, I used logic this time. She called it quits a few weeks later again, this time for good. It was apparent she was doing great without me. Sth tells me she might even be in love with another man, considering what her facebook statuses are etc etc. 15 days later, I texted her to see if she wanted to give it a shot again. She agreed. She was even enthusiastic. But I began acting like a wussy all over again. every time she'd tell me how 'confused' she still was, I'd end up begging and begging. Now. We're about to break up again, and considering how 'un-sad' she is even without me, its apparent she won't come running back again. I on the other hand would be devestated. What do I do to get her back? I don't care if it takes a year of maneouvering or wierd ass tactics or no contact. What do I do? She's my soulmate and I know that.

[DustySaltus]

Guilty, there cannot be a successful reconciliation attempt unless both people are willing to work on the issues that existed when they broke up in the first place. It seems like you have tried to get back together on a few occasions but when through the same cycle over and over again.

 

At this point you need to go NC. Read the link in my siganture. The only way to get her back is to work on yourself and try and move on. If she comes back, she will for the right reasons. You know the mistakes you made and that's good. Apply them in future relationships.

 

As far as being a "wussy" I think it was more about going completely in the opposite direction than she was used to. There's got to be a middle ground somewhere and that's something you need to find on your own.

 

Cut off all communication with her and focus on yourself. What's meant to be will be, but you cannot wait for it. However, you can always learn and gather the tools you need to be more successful down the line.

 

Good luck.

[AgeOfUninnocence]

Wow, guiltypleasures! If it weren't for the part where your ex was the one who initiated the breakup, I would have asked if you were my ex boyfriend! (Though I know he'd never be on here...) The LDR, time period of dating, and sudden lack of interest is exactly the same. Although I hadn't noticed the lack of interest. He just said he hadn't been feeling the same way for a week before we broke up.

 

I agree with DustySaltus's points. I feel that your ex is probably really hurt by the way that you had started acting towards her before the first breakup, and she's trying to give you a taste of your own medicine.

 

Be strong. Don't beg when she says she's confused. I think NC would do you good too, but I wouldn't go about it childishly and just drop off the face of the earth. I think you both need time to think things through.