mrkleen Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I know that running can be very healthy, for both your overall fitness and for your mental health...but can you cross a line with it after a break up? My sister is a pretty avid runner. She usually does about 25 miles a week and ran a few half marathons last year. A month ago she broke up with her BF and started really digging into her training. On the surface this is healthy, but she is running 10 - 15 - 20 miles a day now, and is pretty much doing nothing but working and running. I dont want her to sit at home and sulk about her relationship - but could it be that she is going the other extreme with her avoidance of dealing with her feelings by burying them in all this training? It is really none of my business, but I am a bit curious as to what others think. Link to post Share on other sites
cuppa Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 (edited) I know that running can be very healthy, for both your overall fitness and for your mental health...but can you cross a line with it after a break up? My sister is a pretty avid runner. She usually does about 25 miles a week and ran a few half marathons last year. A month ago she broke up with her BF and started really digging into her training. On the surface this is healthy, but she is running 10 - 15 - 20 miles a day now, and is pretty much doing nothing but working and running. I dont want her to sit at home and sulk about her relationship - but could it be that she is going the other extreme with her avoidance of dealing with her feelings by burying them in all this training? It is really none of my business, but I am a bit curious as to what others think. I think it's fine. She needs distraction and exercises is a lot healthier than others (ie: going with a rebound guy, smoking, etc). Exercise releases endorphins that makes her feel good and forget about her problems. She will also build mental strength as she gets stronger physically (not to mention she will be healthy). I think let her be....people have ways to deal with heartache and when she feels better and decides to tone down, then she will. I am the same way, I do hard exercises everyday. I need to release some stresses and what I do is a lot healthier than what other people do in my circumstances (like having an affair, pop sleeping/anti depressant drugs, etc). Sure, my friends said I don't really have to do this (like I already have a nice figure etc) but that's beside the point. I feel good when I get stronger, I feel good when my heart rate reaches maximum, and exercises make my heart less achy (if that makes sense lol). 10 - 20 miles seem a lot but if she does it within an acceptable heart rate then I think she will be ok and will not injure herself. Just be there for her and don't pester her with this. Take her out for drinks or even do fun exercises together (like mountain biking etc). Edited March 17, 2010 by cuppa Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Stephen King wrote a book about a woman who lost a child and began running as an avoidance mechanism. I think it was called "Gingerbread Girl". In the book she new good and well that it had become obsessive but couldn't stop herself. I'm not so sure that anything that becomes obsessive as a means to avoid feeling or healing is good. Link to post Share on other sites
cuppa Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Stephen King wrote a book about a woman who lost a child and began running as an avoidance mechanism. I think it was called "Gingerbread Girl". In the book she new good and well that it had become obsessive but couldn't stop herself. I'm not so sure that anything that becomes obsessive as a means to avoid feeling or healing is good. I wouldn't call that obsessive given that it's only a month after her break-up. if I base my life with what Stephen Kings wrote, I don't know if I'm right on the head anymore. Some people are obsessive with gaming online or internet or other things, a lot worst things than running or exercises. If she refused to eat and ran the way she did, then yeah, she's hurting herself. But if she monitors and replenish her body (refuel after such a taxing exercise like I do) then give her a break. I read here where some people refused to eat (only eat once every 3 days after a breakup, I will be more concerned about that). Give her time to deal with her heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I wouldn't call that obsessive given that it's only a month after her break-up. if I base my life with what Stephen Kings wrote, I don't know if I'm right on the head anymore. Some people are obsessive with gaming online or internet or other things, a lot worst things than running or exercises. If she refused to eat and ran the way she did, then yeah, she's hurting herself. But if she monitors and replenish her body (refuel after such a taxing exercise like I do) then give her a break. I read here where some people refused to eat (only eat once every 3 days after a breakup, I will be more concerned about that). Give her time to deal with her heartache. WELLLL, in the book it ended up being a good thing because she was plenty strong to fight off the crazed psychotic serial killer, but YEAH.... Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 (edited) The endorphins can be a great medication for the depressive feeling after a break up but yes there can be too much of a good thing. Specially if she is not giving herself rest days. If she does overtrain and it leads to injury the coming of the endorphines when you use to getting them on a regular bases can be real difficult if she is already in a negative place. Also excessive exercising can be a precursor to eating disorders. I suggest make sure she know you are there to talk with, encourage to take a day or two off, and eating well. . Edited March 18, 2010 by GrayClouds Link to post Share on other sites
Author mrkleen Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 I think she is fine as well. I just think she goes from one extreme to the other. Like she was totally into this guy, giving up some of her runs and training to be with him and then BAM - she reacted to this loss of some of her space, and went the other direction - ending things and DIVING back into very high intensity training. As has been said, this is healthier than diving into the bottle or drugs or lots of other things…I just think that in the long run, she is going to have to find a life balance, and unless she marries an tri-athlete – she isn’t doing herself any favors in that department with this one extreme to the other behavior. She knows I am there for her….and I am sure she will start to self regulate with time. But I was just a bit concerned and wanted to see what others thought. Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 She knows I am there for her….and I am sure she will start to self regulate with time. But I was just a bit concerned and wanted to see what others thought. I think you are right and being concern for each other is what family is all about. Link to post Share on other sites
cuppa Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 WELLLL, in the book it ended up being a good thing because she was plenty strong to fight off the crazed psychotic serial killer, but YEAH.... LOL, you are too funny Link to post Share on other sites
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