kbh Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Hey everyone, I was recently in a long distance relationship since June. Very long distance, him from Europe me from California. Last winter, around November he started acting weird, not talking to me/returning emails or ever going online to talk. Eventually we did end up talking and he said that the relationship was just too hard for him, that when he's upset or sad that he needs someone there and since I live on the other side of the world it couldn't be me. At that time I already had a plane ticket to see him for 2 weeks for New Years, so we decided to keep things going and just see where our feelings were after I was there. During the time I was there everything was fantastic and when the time came to talk about what we were going to do, he didn't want to let me go anymore and keep things as they had been. At this time (while I was still there), we decided that it would be good for him to come visit me 3 weeks later since he would have time off from school. We were both over the moon knowing that we would see each other again so soon and that he would be coming to America for his first time ever. Let me also mention that I paid for his plane ticket (stupidly). We had a great time while he was here. Great doesn't even describe it, it was the most fun I'd have living here ever. Just having someone you love be with you makes everything a million times better. He left after two weeks and when he got home things were still good. 3 weeks after he got home he starts acting funny again. Not answering my emails or calls and not going online to talk. Finally I get an email from him saying that "we need to talk". Obviously not good. When we do talk he says the same thing as before.... that it's too hard for him and that he needs someone there all the time, not just some. This floored me. I don't want to think the worst of him because I really trusted him and never thought of him as a bad person, but 3 weeks after he leaves here? After I pay for his trip to America?? So anyways, I bow out as gracefully as possible and hadn't contacted him. after 4 days he emails me with this: Hi. I know what happened a couple of days ago was really weird but I just want to know how you are. I didn't respond. Two days later I get this email: At least let me know you're alive... I didnt mean to hurt you poopie (one of our pet names for eachother, weird I know) I still didn't respond. Then I get this email the same day: At least let me know if you got the photos cause I'm deleting the torrent. The next morning I respond with: Hi. I got the torrent, you can delete the file. What happened the other day wasn't weird, it was just very unexpected. I'm doing fine. How can you say you didn't mean to hurt me? What did you think was going to happen? it doesn't matter. It's over with . Then he responds with: thanks for answering. Ive deleted the file. I know it was unexpected. Even for me somehow... I knew I would hurt you, I just wanted to hurt you the least I could. Hope you'll get good soon I don't know what to make of the whole situation. I'm hurt, obviously, but him emailing me has played with my head. Do I just leave it at that? Was I played this whole time? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Well after that visit in December honestly, from experience, I think you should've ended things then and there in person. If I could take a time machine back in time I know that's what I would've done with my ex (whom I was in a LDR with). And I did plan to do it until he decided to tell me about 2 weeks before I was supposed to leave to go see him (for what I knew would be the last time) that he didn't want to see me again. But you'll get better, it'll take time, but you'll get there again. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyBoop Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I had the opposite problem. I paid for my ex fiancé's plane ticket to my country ($2300) and then realised four months later I wanted to end the relationship after seeing him for one month. Of course I never got the money back. However, tell him to give you the money back. It's worth a shot and that is the LEAST he can do. Also, in the future - NEVER EVER pay for your LDR's plane ticket...I learned that the hard way. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyBoop Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Do I just leave it at that? Was I played this whole time? I think my ex asked the same questions - but he was never played with. And I am sure that neither were you. Believe his words - he realized that he'd rather have someone close to him than being in a distance relationship with you. I am having the same issues with my current boyfriend now who lives in the same city normally but I have been abroad for 2 months. It's easy to make the distance make you feel like you're unhappy with your partner because they can't be there physically for you when you need them to. It doesn't mean they didn't love you. It just meant they weren't cut out to have a LDR with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kbh Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 It doesn't mean they didn't love you. It just meant they weren't cut out to have a LDR with you. I think that's my problem. I take it personally. Like, if he loved me enough then the distance wouldn't be an issue. I know LDR's aren't for everyone... and I guess they're definitely not for him... but I still can't help but feel that his lack of love for me had something to do with it... even though he says it doesn't. But thanks for your feedback. I as well will never pay for someone's ticket!! Mine wasn't quite as expensive as yours (750) but still made a dent in my bank account!! Link to post Share on other sites
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