This is WEIRD, but need advice

[Dave]

Well, I have been with this girl for 3 months, we got into a very beautiful relationship, I guess I started falling in Love with her. I got very close to her. But now, out of the blue, I am looking for problems, maybe because it is too good to be true, she is like my dream girl. I have always imagined going out with THIS kind of girl, but always met the wrong ones, and then as if, my fantasies and dreams started to realise. But now, I think I am constantly looking for something new and exciting, and I feel that I am getting kind of bored. So there is this tension between us, sometimes she asks me what my problem is and I can not really answer what it is. Where is all this going??? I have not dated a girl for more than like 2 months, and maybe that is why I am little bit confused and are looking far into the future and not live one day at a time. What do I need to do, to get to my normal state of mind. I guess you guys will say, do not think too much about the future, but I can not help it. I am getting this weird ideas, that like in 1 month, we will break up, cause sometimes I feel, in 3 months we did so much together, except sleeping with each other, and I think if I sleep with her, I will probably end it right after that,,,,,, I think whatever I am saying is wrong, but do you guys think, i should not be in a long lasting relationship and just date around and sleep around, and change partners often, or there is something I can do about it......IS THERE ANYTHING AT ALL....I need to be with one girl though,,,,but DONT KNOW WHATS UP MY @$$???

 

help

[Randy]

Many dogs chase cars with nothing in mind to do with them if they ever caught them. So you have been chasing girls, not that you are a dog, but just using that as a comparison.

 

So you have finally found the lady of your dreams and you're wanting to really screw it up for yourself?

 

You may have low self esteem and feel you don't deserve her. You may always need a challenge and once you conquer a territory you must move on to another. Perhaps you are terrified of committment, it is a little scary sometimes. Your parents may have divorced when you were young and you were so ill affected by it you don't want to go through that situation for yourself. Since you don't understand your own behavior and are asking the world for insight, there could be many underlying dymnamics that make you feel uncomfortable with a wonderful lady.

 

The only way you can be truly happy is to enjoy the love you have found and do everything possible to preserve it. If you keep feeling as you do you will certainly sabotage it, consciously or unconsciously, and your lady does not deserve that kind of treatment.

 

If you have found the love of your life and are feeling this way and can't seem to shake those feelings, I would urge you to seek serious and immediate counselling from a qualified therapist. You really don't want to do anything to screw this up for yourself, take my word for it. Real, true love doesn't cross you path every day, every year or even every decade.

 

My guess is that you sustain anticipatory anxiety about other things in life. You can create your own future with the power of your mind. If you always anticipate the worst, that is what will come to you. If you look forward to great things in this relationship and work together toward that, it will be yours. Your mind is a powerful thing and you must let it work on your behalf, not against you.

 

A great example of this power is the one you gave in your post. You dreamed of "always going out with a girl like this" and life presented her to you. I think perhaps you are baffled by the power you have to manifest your own reality. Well, here she is just like you dreamed of. You better do right by her or she may never pass this way again.

 

Do you have any idea how many people in the world are searching for what you have seemingly found? There are a lot of people who would love to be in your shoes and you make a problem out of it.

[jenny]

it sounds that because you want to be in a realtionship so bad you are overlooking the fact that maybe YOU are not as ready as you think you are to committ to just one person.i don't know how old you are...but if you are still young then enjoy your freedom and don't rush committment otherwise you will screw things up. now don't get me wrong this does not mean for you to go screw every girl you see, it just means have fun while you still can. you say you have been with this girl for three months, well although i don't think there is a time period to fall in love with somebody, you might just have been rushig things with this girl. if you care about her as much as you say you do, then try your best to be as honest with her as possible.if you change your mind on the way you feel about her then just let her know b/c although it may hurt her feelings she has the right to know, otherwise she might just fall for you and then get terribly hurt. i hope i made you think about a couple of things and that you look within yourself for the true answers, because that is where they all are.