"Nice" girls, like Sandra Bullock....

[Taramere]

Just because somebody has tattooes and likes bikes does not make them a bad boy. She had every reason to believe he would be trustowrthy and faithful and then he betrayed.

 

As for all men cheating this simply not true and women are just as bad. I know the male bashers are going to use this as a chance to bash all men when there are plenty of men who don't cheat and plenty of women who do.

 

I'm curious. Would you regard calizaggy as a male-basher? He's stating on this thread that men have a natural urge to sleep with a variety of women, and that it's difficult for them to resist this. He's also stated that any man will cheat if his wife or partner is working away from home. He doesn't see women as having these same urges.

 

Do you agree or disagree with calizaggy's perspective?

[Woggle]

I'm curious. Would you regard calizaggy as a male-basher? He's stating on this thread that men have a natural urge to sleep with a variety of women, and that it's difficult for them to resist this. He's also stated that any man will cheat if his wife or partner is working away from home. He doesn't see women as having these same urges.

 

Do you agree or disagree with calizaggy's perspective?

 

No I do not agree. My views are more in line with somebody like Chrome Barracuda.

[Taramere]

No I do not agree. My views are more in line with somebody like Chrome Barracuda.

 

Okay. Well, it's always positive to hear a man opposing the notion that all men have a natural inclination to cheat on their partners - so thank you for that.

[marsle85]

Should we feel sorry for her? I mean, she CHOSE to date AND marry a "bad" boy, what did she expect?

 

Well that's silly. Of course we should feel bad for her. Because she's likely going through a lot of turmoil and pain- and no one deserves it, regardless if there were red flags. Plus- we have no idea if there were red flags.

 

Of course we should feel bad. She didn't cheat on herself. How is blame shifted to her at all? It was his CHOICE to cheat?

 

This is an odd question to me.

[Twenty-ten]

Many of you are forgetting 2 things..

 

Women come onto him all the time.

 

She is always away from him for months at a time.

 

 

Any man would cheat with a wife that is always gone with her own career. What they had is not a real marriage in my book.

 

 

Why did he marry her then? He knew she was an actress who would be away at months at a time when they were dating so why is he so surprised and poorly handling the fact that the woman he chose to marry is gone for extended periods for time?

 

All I see here from you is that no matter what the circumstance the woman is always to blame for the man cheating. And your little comment about what circumstance would make you cheat, simply denotes that you are a cheater who under ideal circumstances where your needs are being met a 100% of the time you will maintain faithful, but otherwise 90% of the time you will still be a cheater. That is not the woman's issue, that is your issue. I hope you let women know this before you get into relationships with them, and I also hope that you are prepared to meet a woman's needs 100% x 100% of the time because otherwise she should be granted the same permission as you to cheat.

 

With that attitude I give your long term relationships a year tops. It's no one's task but your own to remain faithful if you want to be in monogamous relationships.

 

The only time I saw Jesse James was on Celebrity Apprentice and all I saw was this pig that he kept burping and breaking wind on camera and in front of his team mates and he found it hilarious. Otherwise he was a lump on a log to be seen and not heard. It dawned on me that Sandra Bullock at the end of the day must be a pretty boorish herself, if she found that classless simpleton attractive enough to marry.

 

But at the end of the day he crossed the line not her, you can't blame her for marrying a "bad boy" because he cheated. He made vows to stay faithful and he failed his word. From watching him on that show I never got the impression he was a bad boy, sure he is all inked up and is into motorcycles but he seemed like a very simple minded average guy.

 

In fact she should be blamed for marrying a simpleton average guy, who couldn't handle her artistic power, talent and fame as in the case of a lot of men who marry successful women who are more established than them.

 

She married down, that's the problem. She clearly settled, I'll blame her for that.

[LovelyDaze]

Well that's silly. Of course we should feel bad for her. Because she's likely going through a lot of turmoil and pain- and no one deserves it, regardless if there were red flags. Plus- we have no idea if there were red flags.

 

Of course we should feel bad. She didn't cheat on herself. How is blame shifted to her at all? It was his CHOICE to cheat?

 

This is an odd question to me.

 

I must agree. If we look on the outside of this it appears that Jesse is at the very least..guilty of making a very poor choice in who he had an affair with(well..ALL affairs are a bad damn choice!)

 

He ignored the realization that Michelle obviously didn't give a damn if he was married or not. So why would she give a damn about WHO she told about their affair? Not only did she gain cash for her story but a fresh 15 minutes of fame. Makes Jesse a dumba$$...plain and simple.

[Twenty-ten]

haha you have no clue..

 

The female quest for variety is completely different, and I am sure you know it.(or atleast you should).So your comparison is based on a false premise. That men and women have the same outlook on sex and the same urges coming from the same place for the same reasons.

 

Men see dozens of women they would love to have sex with everyday, and they would if they could. Once the opportunity finally arises, they do.

 

Women are not going out and having sex with strangers everyday, are they? They can, why don't they?

 

Pahahhahaha whatever makes your feel more I at ease....

 

You have no idea. But it's amusing to see what "macho men" tell themselves to make it out like women have only sexual eyes for them.

 

I feel a sting almost regularly from hot guys I see around, and I am in a happy committed relationship with a man I find both mentally and sexually arousing. I fantasize about men and sex other than my partner from time to time, especially when I see a man that I find sexually appealing.

 

The other night we watched The Hurt Locker and watching Jeremy Renner in that left me all randy and bothered. Let's say my guy and I had a great love making session that night.

 

I've had opportunities to cheat, I met someone on a business trip a few months ago that I could have had a fling with, he looked like he could be a lot of fun sexually and the scenario was ideal for a once in a lifetime passionate hook-up with a practical stranger that I was very sexually attracted to and no one would ever know that it happened. It is the ideal sexual fantasy / secret, doing it with a total stranger in another country and never seeing them again. But I choose to stay faithful because that is who I am, that is my ultimate character. I can have sexual thoughts and even desires but I will never act upon them knowing that I would have to face the man I love afterward. It is a very conscious choice one that women have to make as well.

 

So the idea that it takes effort to say "no" is equal for women as it is for men, comparable to the opportunities you have but men seem to have less willpower, sure I'll give you that much. It is not based on desire for variety it is based on weakness of character.

[calizaggy]

Then why is female prostitution thriving? I mean if men and women are the same sexually, why aren't there an equal number of male hookers catering to women? Or why the need to pay for sex since all of you women want random sex all the time? (hilarious how women think they are like men because an actor turns them on)

 

There are double standards in life. An example would be comedians making jokes about Tiger's wife hitting him with a golf club..If the roles were reversed tiger would be in jail, and NOBODY would be joking about it.

 

So sexually, yes.. Men will cheat, and women should not.. (Until after your child bearing years.)

 

Will all men cheat? of course not.. Only those with the opportunities.

[threebyfate]

I do think that Sandra Bullock has some responsibility in her choice of Jesse James. WTH was she thinking, marrying this guy?

 

Having said all that, it's silly to assume that if a woman is home with her husband all the time, that he's not going to cheat, if he has the propensity to do so. Cheaters will find a way, whether he's at work whatever, where ever.

 

To walk around in life, never trusting your partner, ever, is a complete waste of your life. All you can do is to make the best choice you can, without settling, and if it happens, move on AND best of all, upgrade!!

[harmfulsweetz]

The thing is, a women cheats because her man is away on business all the time, not fulfilling her needs sexually and emotionally, and she's a slut plain and simple. A man does the exact same thing, and somehow, it's the woman's fault for not catering to his needs!

 

He knew who she was when he signed the contract, and promised to be faithful to her, any person who undertakes such a contract and promises, should commit to it, otherwise you clearly are incapable.

[calizaggy]

Man is married for a few years (38 and married to an older woman) and his wife is gone for long periods of time..(In love with her career, not much time for him)

 

He is alone every night, and has many women coming on to him...

 

Now what % of men do you ladies think will remain faithful?

 

I would say the percentage is very low, if any..

[threebyfate]

Man is married for a few years (38 and married to an older woman) and his wife is gone for long periods of time..(In love with her career, not much time for him)

 

He is alone every night, and has many women coming on to him...

 

Now what % of men do you ladies think will remain faithful?

 

I would say the percentage is very low, if any..

Bullock married a pig. Are you saying that all men are pigs?

[Twenty-ten]

I'm not saying we are the "same" I am saying women do have a need for variety as well yet men delude themselves into thinking women never ever fantasize about what it would be like to be with other men. We do, trust me. Who cares if men think about women 100 times a day vs women who may think about men 5 times, if we are thinking about men 1 x a day there is possibility for women to cross lines for sex as well. That's my point.

 

You can want 100 women a day and I can want one guy a day, but all it takes is for me to go for that one guy and I can have him. We hold the sexual power key and we decided when men can have sex, not the other way around. So in fact it is more dangerous for us to be having more thoughts of other men than it is for men to be having thoughts of women, because men have to wok a LOT harder to get sex, women don't if we really want to.

 

You don't think Sandra Bullock ever fantasizes about other men? She never thinks about what it would be like to have sex with one of her co-starring leading men? I'm sure she does, she doesn't act on it because she has her priorities straight.

 

Telling women that men act on their sexual urges because they are wired differently and can't help it if they are different is like saying that a drug addict that drives himself to the grave is wired differently than a drug addict who gets help and recovers. They both have predetermining issues for their choices but ultimately they both have equal opportunity to exercise their will power to make a positive living.

 

Fidelity is not a disease men have to combat, it is a choice.

[St. Nick]

So, apparently all American girl-next-door Sandra Bullock's, bad boy husband is cheating on her with a "bad" girl-some heavily tatted up woman who models (among other things) Nazi paraphernalia!

 

Should we feel sorry for her? I mean, she CHOSE to date AND marry a "bad" boy, what did she expect?

I don't think we should feel sorry for her, but I'm not sure if we should gloat either. She made a decision to marry the guy, he cheated, and now she's probably rethinking the decision. I wouldn't be surprised if he had already cheated on her before this.

The thing is, a women cheats because her man is away on business all the time, not fulfilling her needs sexually and emotionally, and she's a slut plain and simple. A man does the exact same thing, and somehow, it's the woman's fault for not catering to his needs!

 

He knew who she was when he signed the contract, and promised to be faithful to her, any person who undertakes such a contract and promises, should commit to it, otherwise you clearly are incapable.

I know you're in the UK, but have you seen Oprah, Tyra Banks, or the Maury Povich Show? Those shows constantly have female guests on their cheating on their men and then using the excuse she was neglected, and the female audience members and the hosts are quick to back them up. What I see is the exact opposite of the scenario of what you're saying in the first paragraph.

[xxoo]

You don't think Sandra Bullock ever fantasizes about other men? She never thinks about what it would be like to have sex with one of her co-starring leading men? I'm sure she does, she doesn't act on it because she has her priorities straight. .

 

I read an interview today with Sandra Bullock describing Ryan Reynolds' inhuman hotness (I agree!). Jesse James apparently got very occupied with his Blackberry while she was waxing poetic about Reynolds' body

[LovelyDaze]

Man is married for a few years (38 and married to an older woman) and his wife is gone for long periods of time..(In love with her career, not much time for him)

 

He is alone every night, and has many women coming on to him...

 

Now what % of men do you ladies think will remain faithful?

 

I would say the percentage is very low, if any..

 

Well, then that would make Jesse a dumb-dumb.

 

Did he not know she was older or was it a surprise later?

Did he not know what Sandra did for a living or was that also a surprise?

 

There are soldiers away for months even years who have spouses who stay faithful. So, that's a poor excuse to cheat right there.

 

Let me ask, what does a person being a few years older and working a viable excuse for being unfaithful?

[calizaggy]

I never viewed women as cheating because it feels so good to have a dick in them for 30 seconds .. They cheat for different reasons..

 

Yes, women fantasize about actors, some really hot guy, etc,, Men are completely different. Look at Hugh Grant.. Could you imagine Elizabeth Hurley paying a crackhead off the street to have sex with her? For men the turn on is just a different body.. For women more is involved.

[Twenty-ten]

I don't think we should feel sorry for her,

 

Why not? She was betrayed and humiliated publicly by her husband why should we feel sorry for her? What are the variables of a circumstance that need to fall into place in order to feel sorry for someone. Does is have to be a man being cheated on instead? This is the same thing I kept hearing about Tiger Woods' wife when she was cheated on.

 

What does it take for some of you men to actually feel so sort of empathy for a woman who has been betrayed by her husband? Or do you hate women that much that it doesn't matter, you will always find her at fault?

[threebyfate]

I never viewed women as cheating because it feels so good to have a dick in them for 30 seconds .. They cheat for different reasons..

 

Yes, women fantasize about actors, some really hot guy, etc,, Men are completely different. Look at Hugh Grant.. Could you imagine Elizabeth Hurley paying a crackhead off the street to have sex with her? For men the turn on is just a different body.. For women more is involved.

Don't avoid my question. Once again, Bullock married a pig. Are you saying all men are pigs?

[xxoo]

So sexually, yes.. Men will cheat, and women should not.. (Until after your child bearing years.)

 

Will all men cheat? of course not.. Only those with the opportunities.

 

Oh, my....

 

calizaggy, do you have any really close male friends? Or a close brother/male cousin?

 

Imagine that close bro had a really hot girlfriend. Do you try to sleep with her? Why not? You have natural urges, after all....

 

You don't try to sleep with her (hopefully!) because you value the relationship with the man. It wouldn't be worth the consequences.

 

It's the same when you grow up and really love a woman--and want to keep her in your life. You consider the risks, and make appropriate choices. Men and women both have the capability for higher reason. We are not slaves to our urges.

[Twenty-ten]

I read an interview today with Sandra Bullock describing Ryan Reynolds' inhuman hotness (I agree!). Jesse James apparently got very occupied with his Blackberry while she was waxing poetic about Reynolds' body

 

 

Well Ryan Reynolds IS super hot can you blame her? :love:

Jesse James is just a cheese ball I mean look at that scrag he chose to cheat with. Her pictures look smelly, if you know what I mean. Some people look so dirty you can virtually smell them on a picture.

 

I would be SO offended if I were Sandra, if my partner would to cheat on me I would be super offended if he chose someone really low to do it with. I would take that way more personally than if he chose someone better than me.

 

The best part is that apparently he told her that he was separated and lied and said that he and Sandra were no longer together. What a scum bag.

[Twenty-ten]

Why not? She was betrayed and humiliated publicly by her husband why should we feel sorry for her?

 

 

 

That was supposed to say why shouldn't we feel sorry for her.

[calizaggy]

Don't avoid my question. Once again, Bullock married a pig. Are you saying all men are pigs?

 

 

Men are as faithful as their options.. That is how they genetically are constructed. Some will go further and seek out women to cheat with, others will not.

 

 

I find it funny that women expect to change male human nature because a piece of paper was signed.. Also keep in mind cheating is not taboo all over the world, and in many cultures men have many wives/girlfriends and it is to be expected.

 

Why aren't you women blaming your "modern day feminism" for all the sluts running around trying to sleep with married men?

[xxoo]

IYes, women fantasize about actors, some really hot guy, etc,, Men are completely different. Look at Hugh Grant.. Could you imagine Elizabeth Hurley paying a crackhead off the street to have sex with her? For men the turn on is just a different body.. For women more is involved.

 

Can you imagine paying a crackhead off the street to have sex with you? Because that might give us some important "consider the source" information about you.

[marsle85]

I cannot grasp how there are "justifications" of cheating on a spouse.

 

I understand that she "chose" to marry him. She accepted his faults blah blah blah, and took the risk- (if you will)

 

However- he "chose" to marry her. He accepted the terms blah blah blah, and took the risk.

 

He broke the vows.

 

Regardless of who he is, who she is, redflags or not.

 

He broke the vows.

 

End of story.

 

And just because she's a celebrity, famous, whatever- she's a human being. She's hurting and it's sad.

 

Because no matter how many people could say "they saw it coming,"- they're ignoring the more basic picture. It hurts. And it sucks. And she didn't deserve it. No one deserves to be hurt.