"Nice" girls, like Sandra Bullock....

[xxoo]

Ask yourself the same question, "if my Brazilian girlfriend was getting her snatch fingered right now by some dude as we speak and then she blows him for a little while, why would that bother me?"

 

Much better answer than mine

[threebyfate]

I have heard a lot of people say that. "Well, she chose to marry a "bad boy" what did she expect? That he would be faithful??" Firstly, I find that so distasteful all the way around. It's an insult to both cliches. Both the "nice girl" AND "the bad boy".

 

Just because someone is into motorcycles and tattoos does not make him an unfaithful, cheating dog and he shouldn't be regarded by society as one either. People sometimes do things when they are younger that they never do again, crazy & wild things. Whether that has anything to do with infidelity or not. No matter which social stereotype you fall into it should be expected that you will be faithful to your partner and your partner should be able to expect that from you as well.

 

That said - I would be insulted if I were Sandra that I was cheated on with a woman who was so unintelligent. She just comes off as completely trashy & very minimal intellect and maturity level. UGH.

Perhaps the misunderstanding is this. Sandra Bullock is responsible for her choice in partner but if there's any fault to be cast, the fault lies with Jesse James for being a pig.

 

We each can only control ourselves, not anyone else. With this in mind, who we choose is our responsibility, just like whomever cheats bears the entire brunt of his/her cheating.

[calizaggy]

Oh man, your comments are such a joke.

 

 

Ask yourself the same question, "if my Brazilian girlfriend was getting her snatch fingered right now by some dude as we speak and then she blows him for a little while, why would that bother me?"

 

I was asking from a purely philosophical view..As in a real answer instead of flipping the tables.

 

If it was in females nature to enjoy that, then perhaps I would understand.. I do not think most females want to be blowing strangers for fun.

 

 

Perhaps "men trying to be monogamous" is the silly social construct, and women being bothered by men cheating is another silly social construct..Maybe even women giveing away sex for free is a silly social construct. Because in many nations and societies throughout history(and still today) men always had many wives and lovers..

Edited March 21, 2010 by calizaggy

[Twenty-ten]

 

If it was in females nature to enjoy that, then perhaps I would understand.. I do not think most females want to be blowing strangers for fun.

 

 

Perhaps "men trying to be monogamous" is the silly social construct, and women being bothered by men cheating is another silly social construct.. Because in many nations and societies throughout history(and still today) men always had many wives and lovers..

 

 

Do you have a snatch? Have you ever had it fingered? Trust me WE ENJOY IT!

 

I don't think men blow women for fun either, not there is not hopes for a happy ending, men simply would not bother. Acts of pleasure being performed on women whom men have no emotional ties to are done so in the hopes to get the same reciprocated. Sure some men enjoy the simple act of getting women off, women enjoy getting men off too.

 

Not flipping the tables, you know where we stand on fidelity and why it is hurtful when that is broken so your question is redundant being asked of us. More importantly it is noteworthy to see where you stand on the issue and how you process having someone you love and care about being touched by another man, no one is getting pregnant from blow jobs so what gives?

 

As to the last part of your point, I would buy into that if infidelity hurt women only, how many men do you know enjoy and accept being cheated on? 0 So it is not a "womanly created construct", get a grip will you?

[calizaggy]

Well, I will admit I am possessive, and biologically speaking there are reasons for that.. It is in me to want to possess a woman.

 

Twenty ten, if you enjoy it, why not go out and ask any man there to finger your snatch? I know why.. Because you do not really want to do that.

 

But why is it that in some societies (The people have the exact same DNA), women have absoultely no problem sharing a man? I have an African friend, and she has 3 moms.. She is also a Dr.. She sees nothing wrong with it..

[St. Nick]

Ok and? Porn isn't cheating it is masturbation. Since when is masturbation cheating!?!?

 

 

 

 

Yeah with me, he had to wait or should I say didn't "have to" he chose to because I take my time getting to know guys. I don't know if he was screwing other women I don't care, we weren't exclusive so he is free to do as he pleases the point is he committed to me eventually. I doubt they were though given their patterns and frequency in seeing me, but if they were it wasn't a concern for me not like I was having sex with them an we were exclusive anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

Good for you and good for them, I mean that sincerely. If they need to get laid that bad then who cares. As long as they were exclusive with me once we decided to be exclusive I don't really care what they did before that.

Whatev to that if they were.

 

No I would not consider that cheating at all.

You don't think porn isn't cheating? Then you're one of the minority of women on this forum who disagrees. Talk to the women on this forum who constantly whine, "Porn ruined my 14 year marriage" and they'll beg to differ.

 

Also, during that 2 month trial period where you made a guy wait for sex with you, and he had sex with another woman during that period, what proof do you have that he didn't keep her around after you went exclusive?

 

Scenario:

1. You make dude wait 2 months before sex.

2. During said 2 months he bangs another woman.

3. 2 months are up and you're exclusive.

4. Does he dump the other woman for you, or does he keep her around as a jumpoff or hookup or friends with benefits?

 

Are you really gonna tell me you believe he'd dump that other woman for you? What reason does he have for doing it? If you don't know anything about his other relationship during that 2 months, he believes he can still keep it up after you go exclusive.

 

You should listen to Lizzie and calizaggy. Many guys will take the opportunity to cheat. He's not gonna change his ways for some chick just because she says so. He's gotta have a better reason than that.

[threebyfate]

This entire thread is hilarious!

 

Some men and women hating on all men, claiming they're all liars and deceitful cheaters, including themselves.

 

Many women staunchly defending that a portion of the male population aren't liars and deceitful cheaters.

[califnan]

She waited all of that time to marry ... and then wound up with Him ... Dump .... and go on ..

[Twenty-ten]

Well, I will admit I am possessive, and biologically speaking there are reasons for that..

 

What is the biological reason, one of your folks is a parole officer?

 

Twenty ten, if you enjoy it, why not go out and ask any man there to finger your snatch? I know why.. Because you do not really want to do that.

Because I believe in monogamy and I am true to my word. If I want out I get out but I won't compromise my partner's trust to give in to a moment of desire. Simple as that.

 

 

But why is it that in some societies (The people have the exact same DNA), women have absoultely no problem sharing a man? I have an African friend, and she has 3 moms.. She is also a Dr.. She sees nothing wrong with it..

I don't know why!?!? Move to Africa and join a tribe if you like one-sided fidelity but I'll tell you this much, monogamy in the first world means two ways, not one.

[St. Nick]

This entire thread is hilarious!

 

Some men and women hating on all men, claiming they're all liars and deceitful cheaters, including themselves.

 

Many women staunchly defending that a portion of the male population aren't liars and deceitful cheaters.

It's like Lizzie said, if they agreed with that then they'd have to come to the conclusion that their husbands and long-term boyfriends (both past and present) are likely to cheat. And that's just too scary for them to even think about.

[calizaggy]

You should listen to Lizzie and calizaggy. Many guys will take the opportunity to cheat. He's not gonna change his ways for some chick just because she says so. He's gotta have a better reason than that.

 

 

This is a good point..

 

With modern American women, they do not seem to be satisfied unless they hold ALLL the cards..

 

"I will have sex when I want..When I say we are exclusive then I own your sexuality.. When we are married I can have a headache all I want.. I will not do traditional female things like cook.. I am independent..I want my career"

 

Unless a woman completely devotes herself to me in all ways, there is no way she owns my sexuality.

[fooled once]

Many of you are forgetting 2 things..

 

Women come onto him all the time.

 

She is always away from him for months at a time.

 

 

Any man would cheat with a wife that is always gone with her own career. What they had is not a real marriage in my book.

 

So its HER fault he couldn't keep it in his pants?

 

Plueeezzzeee ....

 

Maybe it is because he thought HE was all that (ala Tiger Woods) and figured he could get away with it?

 

It is NOT ever, IMHO, the betrayed spouses fault their spouse cheats. If the cheater was so unhappy, there is this thing called DIVORCE and the cheater could do THAT instead of cheating. Heck, in this case, HE could have gotten alimony. He is an idiot and my heart breaks for Sandra because she (like most BS's) didn't deserve that.

[fooled once]

This is a good point..

 

With modern American women, they do not seem to be satisfied unless they hold ALLL the cards..

 

"I will have sex when I want..When I say we are exclusive then I own your sexuality.. When we are married I can have a headache all I want.. I will not do traditional female things like cook.. I am independent..I want my career"

 

Unless a woman completely devotes herself to me in all ways, there is no way she owns my sexuality.

 

Are you kidding? WHO thinks this way? As an American woman, I sure don't and no one I know does. I definitely don't cook!

 

More stereo typing......

[threebyfate]

It's like Lizzie said, if they agreed with that then they'd have to come to the conclusion that their husbands and long-term boyfriends (both past and present) are likely to cheat. And that's just too scary for them to even think about.

Okay, I believe you and calizaggy would lie and cheat. Feel better?

[calizaggy]

Are you kidding? WHO thinks this way? As an American woman, I sure don't and no one I know does. I definitely don't cook!

 

More stereo typing......

 

Yeah, thats what I said..

[Twenty-ten]

You don't think porn isn't cheating? Then you're one of the minority of women on this forum who disagrees. Talk to the women on this forum who constantly whine, "Porn ruined my 14 year marriage" and they'll beg to differ.

 

Well are you asking those women or me? I gave you my answer.

 

No I don't.

 

Do I think any distraction or addiction that consumes a man's life and takes him away from his responsibilities can destroy a relationship, of course I do. You are giving me an example of a man who has a porn addiction and ruins a 14 year marriage to the initial question you asked me about if I thought a guy using porn would be cheating. Apples and oranges don't you think? If he were completely consumed by using porn to the point that I felt neglected and like I didn't have a partner I would not stick around for that, he might as well be cheating. Didn't think your question was that extreme. Perhaps I should asked you to clarify that.

 

 

Also, during that 2 month trial period where you made a guy wait for sex with you, and he had sex with another woman during that period, what proof do you have that he didn't keep her around after you went exclusive?

 

Scenario:

1. You make dude wait 2 months before sex.

2. During said 2 months he bangs another woman.

3. 2 months are up and you're exclusive.

4. Does he dump the other woman for you, or does he keep her around as a jumpoff or hookup or friends with benefits?

 

 

Knock yourself out with the outcome of your hypothesis, that's not the case here with me.

 

 

Are you really gonna tell me you believe he'd dump that other woman for you? What reason does he have for doing it? If you don't know anything about his other relationship during that 2 months, he believes he can still keep it up after you go exclusive.

 

If you think so little of yourself that you believe a person cannot give up other sexual options to commit to you then that's just sad. I believe a man can give up having sex with other women to be with one person, hate to say it but I DO think I am all that. Most people who enter committed relationships do.

 

You should listen to Lizzie and calizaggy. Many guys will take the opportunity to cheat. He's not gonna change his ways for some chick just because she says so. He's gotta have a better reason than that.

 

Yeah sure I will listen everyone's point of view that doesn't mean I have to agree with it, or even accept it for truth.

 

It's not because she says so, it's because he wants to. That small detail seems to elude you.

I believe my guy is faithful to me because he wants to be not because I hold a proverbial gun to his head. I guess it takes a certain level of comfort and trust in oneself to honestly believe that.

[Twenty-ten]

This is a good point..

 

With modern American women, they do not seem to be satisfied unless they hold ALLL the cards..

 

"I will have sex when I want..When I say we are exclusive then I own your sexuality.. When we are married I can have a headache all I want.. I will not do traditional female things like cook.. I am independent..I want my career"

 

Unless a woman completely devotes herself to me in all ways, there is no way she owns my sexuality.

 

 

And that's probably why you had to go all the way to Brazil, the land of the meninas putas, to find a chick who would put up with your crap. American women see past your kind of nonsense.

[calizaggy]

And that's probably why you had to go all the way to Brazil, the land of the meninas putas, to find a chick who would put up with your crap. American women see past your kind of nonsense.

 

 

HAHA..

 

Actually (and ironically) Brazilian women DEMAND to be treated better, where as American women seem to get off on chasing bad boys and being treated like trash..

[xxoo]

If you can speak for men, then I can speak for women.

 

I was referencing my faith in a subset of men. I clearly was not speaking for all men.

 

This entire thread is hilarious!

 

Some men and women hating on all men, claiming they're all liars and deceitful cheaters, including themselves.

 

Many women staunchly defending that a portion of the male population aren't liars and deceitful cheaters.

 

LOL!

 

Some men defending men, too, don't forget!

 

But you are right. It is kind of silly to try to convince deceitful men that trustworthy men exist

[sweetjasmine]

But you are right. It is kind of silly to try to convince deceitful men that trustworthy men exist

 

"If you found a wallet with a $20 bill inside, you'd keep it too!!!"

 

Assume everyone else is as dishonest as you are and you won't have to feel bad about it anymore.

[Lovelybird]

Sandra Bullock is NOT a nice girl. I heard she turned away several young girls that looked up to her seeking autographs because she was "trying to get into the zone" before a shoot.

Give her a break !

 

If you are surrounded by people all day long, and private life being intruded everyday, your attitude probably is worse than this. She is a human, needs a break. The fan's requirements are unreasonable, they expect you act excellently on the screen, then same time they expect you don't have to spend time to prepare for that and meet whatever their needs

[Twenty-ten]

It's like Lizzie said, if they agreed with that then they'd have to come to the conclusion that their husbands and long-term boyfriends (both past and present) are likely to cheat. And that's just too scary for them to even think about.

 

 

It's as scary as a man thinking a woman might cheat on him. When two people commit both parties are just as vulnerable to that possibility.

Of course some men, like yourselves, think that could never happen to them because women don't need variety and new sex. Women are not biologically wired to want someone new in a long term scenario, women never fantasize about other men, women are not sexual beings like men and never get tired of having the same sex with the same old guy day in day out. And other horsesht men tell themselves to believe they are so intrinsically different to women when it comes to sexual desires and fantasies.

 

Reminds me of that scene in Eyes Wide Shut when Nicole Kidman shares a very candid and graphic scenario she had with a man she could have slept with while on a trip with Tom Cruise, and Tom Cruise is shocked and goes off the deep-end inside his head with the notion that his wife could be capable of such sexual urges. So he sleeps with a prostitute for revenge and to even the score for his wife "thinking of cheating".

 

You guys crack me up!

[sweetjasmine]

HAHA..

 

Actually (and ironically) Brazilian women DEMAND to be treated better, where as American women seem to get off on chasing bad boys and being treated like trash..

 

You're playing with fire, buddy. Women from South American cultures (and I come from one) may clean your house, cook your meals, and do your laundry because they've been socialized to believe it's their duty, but there's always a catch.

 

Hope you enjoy the martyr act and being resented and nagged to death.

[St. Nick]

If you think so little of yourself that you believe a person cannot give up other sexual options to commit to you then that's just sad. I believe a man can give up having sex with other women to be with one person, hate to say it but I DO think I am all that. Most people who enter committed relationships do.

 

Yeah sure I will listen everyone's point of view that doesn't mean I have to agree with it, or even accept it for truth.

 

It's not because she says so, it's because he wants to. That small detail seems to elude you.

I believe my guy is faithful to me because he wants to be not because I hold a proverbial gun to his head. I guess it takes a certain level of comfort and trust in oneself to honestly believe that.

I was gonna comment on the other stuff til I came to this part and especially when you typed, "hate to say it but I DO think I am all that". Those are the people who get cheated on the most. They got their head in the clouds and think, "my lover won't do that" and then bam! they get cheated on. Thanks Twenty, you just reminded of those few dudes I've met who said, "Not to toot my own horn. But my girl is faithful, one of a kind. She would never cheat on me" and then later on pow! I see pics and vids of their girlfriends doing amateur porn. And then when they were shown the pics dudes were saying, "Hey Victor, isn't that your girlfriend's ass shaking while she's riding on that dude and doing cowgirl? It probably is because I don't know too many women with a tattoo like that on her lower back". And then it's hard to control my laughter and dodge flying fists from the boyfriend cuz he doesn't know how to control his anger.

 

But anyway, can you give me reasons why a guy would throw away his poontang on the side to go with you? I'm looking for reasons other than "I'm all that". Unless you live in a small, isolated town then I can understand why you'd believe he wouldn't go for sex on the side, but if you live in a city then I doubt it.

 

I live in the United States, a country with over 300 million people; more than half are females. Some women delude themselves into thinking they are the only females around, and that the guy is so desperate, and that she is so great, that it's damn near impossible that he'd bang another woman. Get real. Poontang is everywhere: my job, my apartment, the colleges in my town, the post office, Barnes and Noble, the library, Walmart, Applebee's, the grocery store, the mall, even church, as well as the local bars and clubs. The more I see women around me, the less I believe in the idiotic, outdated notion of monogamy. I'm currently trying to bang the older married brunette who works in the health food section of my local grocery store. I'm pretty sure she once believed in monogamy too, but I'm currently working to make her change her mind about it, and thankfully I'm succeeding.

[St. Nick]

It's as scary as a man thinking a woman might cheat on him. When two people commit both parties are just as vulnerable to that possibility.

Of course some men, like yourselves, think that could never happen to them because women don't need variety and new sex. Women are not biologically wired to want someone new in a long term scenario, women never fantasize about other men, women are not sexual beings like men and never get tired of having the same sex with the same old guy day in day out. And other horsesht men tell themselves to believe they are so intrinsically different to women when it comes to sexual desires and fantasies.

 

Actually, I do believe it could happen to me. I hope you don't think I think like you, that I'm "all that". I just don't care for monogamy. Why should I?

You're playing with fire, buddy. Women from South American cultures (and I come from one) may clean your house, cook your meals, and do your laundry because they've been socialized to believe it's their duty, but there's always a catch.

 

Hope you enjoy the martyr act and being resented and nagged to death.

What exactly is the catch? I bet it's not as bad for Latin men as it is for U.S. men. At least Latin men get dutiful wife. American men don't even get that and still receive the nagging.