"Nice" girls, like Sandra Bullock....

[CrissyQ]

:lmao::lmao: hahahaha DID find it, and in YOUR own words! LMFAOROTF!!!!! :lmao::lmao:

 

And I DO think what I want. I don't let people get inside my head, especially people with a VERY limited background in a very "special" profession.

 

Have a nice day now.

 

You know I cant believe how much I got to you,and all I did was post,things that make you go hmmmmmm:p

[Chrome Barracuda]

I thought we was on the subject of sandra bullock!???

 

What the F?

[Maxxx]

I thought we was on the subject of sandra bullock!???

 

What the F?

 

 

Some how I think its more about the cheating then Sandra I will say this with a wife like Sandra why the h@#! would any man want to cheat?

[Jersey Shortie]

Originally Posted by grogster

While much of what Cali says is objectionable (his views on women are especially obnoxious), his observation that many (not all) husbands are as faithful as their options accords with my experience, observations and knowledge. That view is, in fact, unremarkable.

 

What does that say about men then? Men pride themselves on being strong, leaders, offering a leadership guidence of sort. If a man is only as good as his options, his word is only as good as long as he doesn't have to face any real temptation that tests his true strength. So it would seem that we have a huge dirth in truly good men if "most" are only as good as their options.

 

As for the rest of this thread. Does anyone else's heart kind of hurt right now? Totally depressing. Men aren't loyal, women deserved to be cheated on. Thanks guys!

[Maxxx]

If you feel strongly about this issue, you can carry on ranting at people who've been burned and who find it difficult to trust as a result of being burned. Or you can take it to those men and women who derive glee from discouraging others to place any trust and faith in the opposite sex.

 

 

I was not ranting I was speaking to the post and you are the one that said

I've heard it from a man who cheated on me

You're post sounded like a hurt woman to me

 

Just my opinion

 

and I might be wrong I have been before

[Taramere]

I thought we was on the subject of sandra bullock!???

 

Well, the subject was whether Sandra Bullock brought it upon herself by placing her trust in someone who (the argument goes) she should have known could not be trusted. Which raised questions about how far you go with that notion that a person who is cheated on only has themselves to blame for making the wrong choice.

 

Any choice can potentially turn out to be the wrong choice. I'm pretty sure that there aren't any threads on here predating the Jesse James plus tattooed stripper incident, which predicted that Sandra Bullock had made a poor choice in her marriage.

[sweetjasmine]

Maybe said guy would have sex with a stripper at a friend's bachelor party , but Im not sure thats really cheating. Its more like getting too personal with the domestic staff

 

I guess you'd be okay with your wife banging the pool boy, then. He's just the domestic, after all.

[Lizzie60]

I know a lot of guys who never go to strip clubs and find them lame

 

Most good looking, successful guys would rather conqueor other repsectable professional women

 

 

There are also guys who never go to strip clubs but are constantly on the porn sites on the Internet... it's a lot cheaper..

[Taramere]

I was not ranting I was speaking to the post and you are the one that said

You're post sounded like a hurt woman to me

 

Just my opinion

 

and I might be wrong I have been before

 

My point there was that people who cheat are keen to promote the notion that everyone cheats. That guy had never before said to me "all men cheat". He only said it after he himself had done it.

 

It's a destructive thing to do to someone, but people will do it to rationalise and normalise their own actions. My reading of the initial post on this thread was basically that the OP felt Sandra Bullock only had herself to blame for being cheated on. That she had made the wrong choice in partners.

 

My question was...where do you draw the line with that "blame the victim" thinking? Is every person who gets cheated on to blame for selecting the wrong partner? If so, the only way to ensure you avoided being at fault would be to steer clear of relationships altogether....because there is never any cast iron guarantee of fidelity. To blame and judge one person for taking a leap of faith with another, and getting burned as a result, struck me as crass and lacking in compassion.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I would be slaying out sandra bullock!!!! right on the bathroom floor!

[xxoo]

But no this does not surprise me at all.. Reporting another man's cheating makes himself look better to you.. And I seriously doubt your husband thinks "Wow, Joe cheated, he is such a horrible man.. I need to distance myself from him"

 

More like "WTF was that about? That's that last time I'm going out with them."

 

What happened, when we were younger and this was more of an issue (we go out less now, and the people we socialize with tend to be more mature), was a split in the group. Birds of a feather flock together, and all that. The men who were ok with that kind of thing kept on socializing together, and ones who weren't ok with it stopped attending. At least one single man (a friend of my husband--great looking guy! with options! lol) was in the "stop attending" group, but still hung out with the less freaky couples.

 

So, yeah, it makes sense that you see the behavior that confirms your beliefs about men. And that I see behavior that confirms my beliefs about men.

[Maxxx]

My point there was that people who cheat are keen to promote the notion that everyone cheats. That guy had never before said to me "all men cheat". He only said it after he himself had done it.

 

It's a destructive thing to do to someone, but people will do it to rationalise and normalise their own actions. My reading of the initial post on this thread was basically that the OP felt Sandra Bullock only had herself to blame for being cheated on. That she had made the wrong choice in partners.

 

My question was...where do you draw the line with that "blame the victim" thinking? Is every person who gets cheated on to blame for selecting the wrong partner? If so, the only way to ensure you avoided being at fault would be to steer clear of relationships altogether....because there is never any cast iron guarantee of fidelity. To blame and judge one person for taking a leap of faith with another, and getting burned as a result, struck me as crass and lacking in compassion.

 

 

Ok thank you for clearing that up I took your post the wrong way..........

[threebyfate]

What does that say about men then? Men pride themselves on being strong, leaders, offering a leadership guidence of sort. If a man is only as good as his options, his word is only as good as long as he doesn't have to face any real temptation that tests his true strength. So it would seem that we have a huge dirth in truly good men if "most" are only as good as their options.

 

As for the rest of this thread. Does anyone else's heart kind of hurt right now? Totally depressing. Men aren't loyal, women deserved to be cheated on. Thanks guys!

Loveshack isn't a microcosm of the real world, so don't take things like this to heart. What you have are a number of strong opinions, rather than fact.

 

I can easily throw out blatantly false statistics like 90%+ of men won't cheat. I could easily expound on and on and on, time and again, thread after thread, but it doesn't make it fact.

 

In this world, there are men and women who will cheat and those who won't. It has to do with how people view cheating and how they view themselves.

[xxoo]

There is no type.

 

The type is "men who choose to spend their hard-earned money in strip clubs".

[Taramere]

Ok thank you for clearing that up I took your post the wrong way..........

 

That's okay. Looking back, my post was kind of cryptic.

[Twenty-ten]

There are also guys who never go to strip clubs but are constantly on the porn sites on the Internet... it's a lot cheaper..

 

Well no one is saying that men aren't sexual beings and that they do not enjoy sexual forms of fantasy, of course they do that I can guarantee.

So what does porn use have to do with the topic at hand, which is that a man had an affair behind his wife's back for a year?

[grogster]

Loveshack isn't a microcosm of the real world, so don't take things like this to heart. What you have are a number of strong opinions, rather than fact.

 

I can easily throw out blatantly false statistics like 90%+ of men won't cheat. I could easily expound on and on and on, time and again, thread after thread, but it doesn't make it fact.

 

In this world, there are men and women who will cheat and those who won't. It has to do with how people view cheating and how they view themselves.

 

 

That raises the interesting question about the disconnect between the Shack and how people actually live off-line when not tethered to their keyboards.

 

The Shack is not a representative slice of the "real" world because of the members' dysfunctionality. Rather, it's an anonymous forum where opinion is currency and people will say the darndest things often to get a rise out of folks.

 

Because opinion is king, people love to make sweeping generalizations about this or that. Better to make an inductive fallacy and get noticed than attempt a nuanced view and be ignored.

 

In this tower of babel, some people wish to be heard more than help or be helped.

 

The Shack is entertainment, nothing more.

Edited March 23, 2010 by grogster

[xxoo]

I have no interest in sleeping with a married woman.. I do my part..I also do not want the vagina that another man has been using for years..

 

Interesting wording. You'd prefer to have the vagina that innumerable random men have been using for years?

 

Such a negative attitude toward married women, on the whole. Do they intimidate you? Does the idea of a healthy relationship intimidate you?

[xxoo]

I think one has to be able to recognize a heathy relationship to feel anything in particular about one. No?

 

Or at least accept that they exist....

[Twenty-ten]

Interesting wording. You'd prefer to have the vagina that innumerable random men have been using for years?

 

 

yeah exactly!

 

In his world, young, foreign single women walk around with chastity belts that only he has the key for. "In his world" being the operative words of course.....

[threebyfate]

That raises the interesting question about the disconnect between the Shack and how people actually live off-line when not tethered to their keyboards.

 

The Shack is not a representative slice of the "real" world because of the members' dysfunctionality. Rather, it's an anonymous forum where opinion is currency and people will say the darndest things often to get a rise out of folks.

 

Because opinion is king, people love to make sweeping generalizations about this or that. Better to make an inductive fallacy and get noticed than attempt a nuanced view and be ignored.

 

In this tower of babel, some people wish to be heard more than help or be helped.

 

The Shack is entertainment, nothing more.

I don't disagree that LS is entertainment but there are also people here who do want to help others or are open to being helped.

 

It's the expounding of agenda-based hatred, that detracts and destroys LS. Sure, when people go through break-up, infidelity, all those negative situations in life, they're not going to react or behave in a positive manner. But when time and again, individual members spread agenda-based messages that state that "all" [insert gender, creed, breed] will do this or that, it's nothing more than hate propaganda and should be ignored, at least as it pertains to the real world. Add in that they attempt to pull out of their arses, false statistics and utilize sock puppets to prove their point, is really disturbing, hence their opinions should be relegated to the place they belong, in the toilet bowl, where all poop should reside.

 

Sandra Bullock didn't deserve being cheated on but she is responsible for her choice in partner. Beyond that, Jesse James is a pig. There's nothing attractive about this man, not his actions, attitudes, how he displays himself to the world, his billion and one tats. He's blatantly a man who's compensating for something inherently missing inside of him.

[carhill]

Sandra Bullock didn't deserve being cheated on but she is responsible for her choice in partner. Beyond that, Jesse James is a pig. There's nothing attractive about this man, not his actions, attitudes, how he displays himself to the world, his billion and one tats. He's blatantly a man who's compensating for something inherently missing inside of him.

 

That stipulated, I find it remarkable, and topical, considering the threads which permeate LS about 'bad boys' and the inherent attraction they have to women, that Jesse was equally able to romance and marry a movie star, and quite a 'politically correct' movie star at that, as well as attract and bed other, less savory or notable women. His is a really good example, IMO, of what we often discuss on LS; the power of attraction. Some here call him a pig. Others say he's patently 'unattractive'. Yet, he still draws the ladies. Is it possible, from movie star to 'crack whore', the something missing inside him matches up with the something missing inside them? Fascinating. That 'people-picker' thing.

[CrissyQ]

I know who you arrrrrre!!!!!!! LMFAOROTF - yet again.

 

Thanks for the chuckles boxing.

 

WOW you really know who I am:eek: Well no sh.t my picture is my avatar.

 

Still have no clue why or how I got to you so bad,Oh well:D

[threebyfate]

That stipulated, I find it remarkable, and topical, considering the threads which permeate LS about 'bad boys' and the inherent attraction they have to women, that Jesse was equally able to romance and marry a movie star, and quite a 'politically correct' movie star at that, as well as attract and bed other, less savory or notable women. His is a really good example, IMO, of what we often discuss on LS; the power of attraction. Some here call him a pig. Others say he's patently 'unattractive'. Yet, he still draws the ladies. Is it possible, from movie star to 'crack whore', the something missing inside him matches up with the something missing inside them? Fascinating. That 'people-picker' thing.

There are two aspects of "bad boy" attraction. One major factor that the expounders of the bad boy theory forget to include, is the age of the women who are attracted to bad boy types.

 

Inexperience/naivete combined with the mass media romanticized depiction of bad boys with a heart of gold, cleaving solely to the one girl who can change his ways, isn't factored into this. Bad isn't good.

 

But for someone like Sandra Bullock, who's a mature and experienced woman in her forties, I agree that she's in some way compensating for something, since he's not her first bad boy.

[OldEurope]

Just as men talk about the wisdom of being a "bad boy" rather than a "nice guy", from the female perspective, being considered a "slut" might be a far more tempting prospect in this day and age than it is to be the female equivalent of a cuckold.

 

Taramere,

 

I always look forward to reading your posts but this.....I 'll have to beg to differ.

 

Being considered a "slut", real or perceived, will do nothing but bring a lifetime of unhappiness--or, at least, for as long as that image sticks.

 

Being the female equivalent of a cuckhold is no vacation, either....

 

The point is choice c) None of the above. It comes down to self-respect and class. One leaves, plain and simple, an intolerable relationship of reckless promiscuity and other such sad disasters.

 

Thing is this: a woman of high self-regard, just like a man, will never be "promiscuous". Promiscuity is a sign of low self worth, it is indiscriminate sexual activity which means a low sense of value. While men might have and will always want more women, it does not mean he is necessarily "promiscuous" in the sense of a total defilement of his values. You do not give easily what is most precious--you, your self, your body. I don't care how "powerful" or "empowering" it seems (for five minutes).

 

Many male friends of mine, who might have esteemed themselves as "players" at some point, almost to a last describe the emptiness of indiscriminate sexual relations and how low it has made them feel. Men want emotion, the real thing.

 

Men do have higher sex drives, it is true. As for the men-women "double standard" regarding how the frequency of sexual relationships for either group is viewed, I don't know if it is all "social conditioning". While a woman need not be "chaste", of course, she should be extremely selective. She realy has the power in this sense. It is she who settles a man's life, bears his children, is the inspiration for so much that goes on in life, society, doing, making, getting, earning. Men want to worship women, and a woman should never really lose that sense of being sought after, and not giving "it" away easily. And, most importantly, it just not only looks better, or is better for "society", it is better for her, emotionally, psychologically. Women should be sought after, they should be the ones whom men revere, they are the ones who "civilize" men, in a way, they are the ones to be "conquered". It is a nice bit of sexual play, I think. Would be sad to see it all go---

 

Show me someone who disagrees with this, I'll show you a hurt cynic...Show me a woman who says that she enjoys casual flings, and I will show you someone who is inwardly very insecure and miserable...

 

I understand the desire for "sexual freedom" in women, and no one, not I, of course, is suggesting old ways and "mores" in any kind of extreme sense, at all. Certainly that is not what I am writing here. I am saying that promiscuity is a very sad state of affairs for women and men, but it is ultimately worse for women, for many reasons, not just "social". The feminists, I must say, did do women terrible harm telling them that by acting like "men" in terms of sexual licentiousness, they were gaining "strength". Big, big mistake, with unfortunate fall-out still thriving, if not getting worse...

 

OE