"Nice" girls, like Sandra Bullock....

[shadowplay]

That doesn't mean anything. I was married to a junkie who is now facing years in prison yet I will never cheat on a woman. God knows I am not the perfect husband because I have major trust issues but I would never cheat on a woman.

 

Yeah, but you've said before that when you met your wife she was relatively normal. Based on what I've read this guy has a history of dating strippers, porn stars and other seedy characters.

[desertmoon]

How do we know how she eally is as a person,she could be "bad"sure she has a cleaner image than the ow.

 

We do not know. 'Was just using them as props for the nice girl/bad boy argument/debate (yet again, if that is ok with you).

 

Not all self proclaimed bad boys are going to cheat,maybe he was lonely,needed a women was vulnerable and made a bad choice.

 

Jesus! a vulnerable, lonely, totally compromised BAD BOY! I don't know-there is something wrong with THAT picture!

[Twenty-ten]

No I wouldn't go that far to say that in those terms.

 

But then, also...what about massage parlors, escort services, and the likes?

 

 

Ok what about them? Do you have any idea how many crack and speed and heroine dealers there are on the streets? Still even given the amount of drug dealers that are readily available on the streets, doesn't mean that most of the population is on rec drugs.

 

This "men go to pay for sex all the time" is the same analogy based on the supply that is out there. One heroine addict can keep one dealer in business quite comfortably.

[St. Nick]

Well it is just your opinion, reality is different. Some men joined into the discussion here and expressed that they have had plenty opportunities and they won't cheat, they have no reason to lie here so does your personal opinion override what actual men are saying? Who cares if they fantasize all day long about other women the point is they still say no to temptation.

 

Only scumbags do it. I will agree there are a lot of scum bags out there.

 

If all men cheat and all men need sex on the side then why don't all men go to prostitutes? They can have all the sex they want whenever they want and no one will ever find out, yet they don't.

Porn is free. Have you been to a porno forum? I'm a member of a few, and I would wager at least half the members of each forum are married. On one forum there was recently a topic entitled, "Is marriage still necessary" and so many men on that porno forum were arguing for it and saying that they were happily married. I was shocked cuz some of those dudes post a lot of porn and have huge post counts. They were on that forum even more than me, a single guy.

 

Many men don't consider porn cheating, but a woman would.

 

Also, I noticed you said all the guys you've been in a relationship recently have waited 2 months before having sex with you; are you sure they waited 2 months before having sex, or did they wait 2 months before having sex with you? I once met a girl who wanted to wait a month before having sex with me. I did wait, but I didn't abstain from sex, either physical or porn. I wouldn't be surprised if most those dudes who you made wait had sex with other women while waiting for you. Many guys don't see it as a relationship until he has sex with her. Would you consider a guy who banged a chick during the 2 month waiting period for you cheating? I would not.

[Woggle]

Yeah, but you've said before that when you met your wife she was relatively normal. Based on what I've read this guy has a history of dating strippers, porn stars and other seedy characters.

 

WE were both screwed up when we first met but she took it and turned it up to ten.

[desertmoon]

He already said he does, please don't get him started again.

 

Oh did he? unlike you I have not been here since I posted the original post and was just responding to his first post on this thread ...sorry calizaggy!

 

Ok...bbl...going to dinner and movies!

[CLC2008]

Ok what about them? Do you have any idea how many crack and speed and heroine dealers there are on the streets? Still even given the amount of drug dealers that are readily available on the streets, doesn't mean that most of the population is on rec drugs.

 

This "men go to pay for sex all the time" is the same analogy based on the supply that is out there. One heroine addict can keep one dealer in business quite comfortably.

 

Not personally.

 

And I didn't say that they in fact do, because I honestly do not know.

 

I was just raising the questions.

[Lizzie60]

I don't know that, I am not passing it off as fact, I am speculating just like you are. We just happen to have differing views on what we "think" is real.

 

I choose to believe that most men aren't interested in paying a woman for sex just to have some secret time of thrills. I think most men will just sit in front of a computer or fantasize in the shower and rub one off, and that will satisfy his need for variety and change in a committed relationship.

 

To me that is more feasible than spending thousands of dollars on prostitutes. I think my way is how most men operate but again, I could be wrong.

 

We have no way to prove either so....

 

They also do that too..

[Lizzie60]

Ok what about them? Do you have any idea how many crack and speed and heroine dealers there are on the streets? Still even given the amount of drug dealers that are readily available on the streets, doesn't mean that most of the population is on rec drugs.

 

This "men go to pay for sex all the time" is the same analogy based on the supply that is out there. One heroine addict can keep one dealer in business quite comfortably.

 

Nobody said that 'men go to pay for sex ALL THE TIME'...

 

An erotic massage is only 80-100$ dollars... it's far from the thousand $$ spent on an escort.. some guys get hooked on erotic massages.. it's enough for them.. looking at a half-naked woman..playing with them.. for an hour.. with a happy ending..

[Twenty-ten]

Porn is free. Have you been to a porno forum? I'm a member of a few, and I would wager at least half the members of each forum are married. On one forum there was recently a topic entitled, "Is marriage still necessary" and so many men on that porno forum were arguing for it and saying that they were happily married. I was shocked cuz some of those dudes post a lot of porn and have huge post counts. They were on that forum even more than me, a single guy.

 

 

Ok and? Porn isn't cheating it is masturbation. Since when is masturbation cheating!?!?

 

 

Also, I noticed you said all the guys you've been in a relationship recently have waited 2 months before having sex with you; are you sure they waited 2 months before having sex, or did they wait 2 months before having sex with you?

 

Yeah with me, he had to wait or should I say didn't "have to" he chose to because I take my time getting to know guys. I don't know if he was screwing other women I don't care, we weren't exclusive so he is free to do as he pleases the point is he committed to me eventually. I doubt they were though given their patterns and frequency in seeing me, but if they were it wasn't a concern for me not like I was having sex with them an we were exclusive anyway.

 

 

I once met a girl who wanted to wait a month before having sex with me. I did wait, but I didn't abstain from sex, either physical or porn. I wouldn't be surprised if most those dudes who you made wait had sex with other women while waiting for you. Many guys don't see it as a relationship until he has sex with her. Would you consider a guy who banged a chick during the 2 month waiting period for you cheating? I would not.

 

 

Good for you and good for them, I mean that sincerely. If they need to get laid that bad then who cares. As long as they were exclusive with me once we decided to be exclusive I don't really care what they did before that.

Whatev to that if they were.

 

No I would not consider that cheating at all.

[Twenty-ten]

Nobody said that 'men go to pay for sex ALL THE TIME'...

 

An erotic massage is only 80-100$ dollars... it's far from the thousand $$ spent on an escort.. some guys get hooked on erotic massages.. it's enough for them.. looking at a half-naked woman..playing with them.. for an hour.. with a happy ending..

 

 

It could be worth $5 that's not the point. There are many single guys even who wouldn't pay $5 to have a chick get him off. Not all men want fake sex. It's an ego thing. Same reason why a lot of guys find strip joints stupid it isn't real and they feel stupid paying some chick to pretend to like them.

[Twenty-ten]

There are many many men in their 20's and 30's who have never even been with a woman sexually, their dream would be to be with a woman and if you were to say to them go to a rub and tug for $80 you can get off to a really nice looking chick they would refuse. They still prefer the real deal.

[Woggle]

There are many many men in their 20's and 30's who have never even been with a woman sexually, their dream would be to be with a woman and if you were to say to them go to a rub and tug for $80 you can get off to a really nice looking chick they would refuse. They still prefer the real deal.

 

Very true. I admit I did go a bit nuts as a single man in between marriages but that is not what I prefer in the perfect situation.

[Twenty-ten]

Oh did he? unlike you I have not been here since I posted the original post and was just responding to his first post on this thread ...sorry calizaggy!

 

I think you misunderstood, the rolley eyes weren't at you they were at the fact that I would have see him explain all that again.

 

I don't think HE even knows where he stands on this topic, he is too all over the place with his opinion.

[Twenty-ten]

Very true. I admit I did go a bit nuts as a single man in between marriages but that is not what I prefer in the perfect situation.

 

When you say you went nuts do you mean you paid for sex too?

[Woggle]

When you say you went nuts do you mean you paid for sex too?

 

I never paid for sex but I had a short lived player period.

[xxoo]

Humm.. methink a lot of people lie on those surveys...

 

I very much doubt that a guy would admit face to face to someone that he is sex starved..

 

I don't believe in those surveys.. the reality is very different.

 

Reality may be different, but well constructed research is the closest we have to knowing.

 

Plus, the marrieds and singles would both have motivation to lie....

 

Anyway, my guy gets his "hand on the prize" nearly 365 days a year (even if we don't have sex, hands migrate there before falling asleep). The single guys I know well spend most of their nights alone--maybe a date on the weekend, maybe sex on the date. I don't think it is too hard to believe that married people have more sex, on the whole, simply due to the availability of a partner.

 

Keep in mind, you have to factor in ALL married people and ALL single people (within certain age parameters, maybe). The players and the chumps

[xxoo]

Many men don't consider porn cheating, but a woman would.

 

Please don't speak for women.

[calizaggy]

Many of the women seem to be saying "men with integrity/good character will not cheat"

 

My point is this.. Let's say a man is an excellent leader, and has many women.. He is an excellent doctor and saves many lives.. He is a great lawyer and does plenty of pro bono work..He is a great CEO and saved thousands of jobs.. He is that loveable athlete the city loves.. Nobody holds them having many women against them at all. Women and his interactions with them do not define the totality of his character. That is real life.

 

For men, "staying faithful" is not really rewarded in our society..Just what does the guy get by surrenduring his entire sexual life and handing it over to a woman?

 

I would say even with dating, being the type that they think will not cheat usually puts men in the "boring" category. No challenge.. Doormat.. I even think when men DO cheat, women talk a big game but would rather stay with that man than let the OTHER WOMAN have him.

 

Other than saying "he went back on his vows", how does a man touching another woman really hurt his SO? he cannot get pregnant..

Edited March 21, 2010 by calizaggy

[xxoo]

how does a man touching another woman really hurt his SO? he cannot get pregnant..

 

Sexually transmitted diseases

Child support from the family budget should he father a child

Social humiliation

 

Now, I am an advocate of open relationships, if the both people in the couple choose that route. I don't believe touching another man/woman in inherently bad. I just believe dishonesty and putting your partner unwittingly at risk is unexcusable.

[calizaggy]

Sexually transmitted diseases

Child support from the family budget should he father a child

Social humiliation

 

Now, I am an advocate of open relationships, if the both people in the couple choose that route. I don't believe touching another man/woman in inherently bad. I just believe dishonesty and putting your partner unwittingly at risk is unexcusable.

 

 

So if nobody finds out, he has his partner tested, and she has her tubes tied it is ok?

[hoping2heal]

So, apparently all American girl-next-door Sandra Bullock's, bad boy husband is cheating on her with a "bad" girl-some heavily tatted up woman who models (among other things) Nazi paraphernalia!

 

Should we feel sorry for her? I mean, she CHOSE to date AND marry a "bad" boy, what did she expect?

 

I have heard a lot of people say that. "Well, she chose to marry a "bad boy" what did she expect? That he would be faithful??" Firstly, I find that so distasteful all the way around. It's an insult to both cliches. Both the "nice girl" AND "the bad boy".

 

Just because someone is into motorcycles and tattoos does not make him an unfaithful, cheating dog and he shouldn't be regarded by society as one either. People sometimes do things when they are younger that they never do again, crazy & wild things. Whether that has anything to do with infidelity or not. No matter which social stereotype you fall into it should be expected that you will be faithful to your partner and your partner should be able to expect that from you as well.

 

That said - I would be insulted if I were Sandra that I was cheated on with a woman who was so unintelligent. She just comes off as completely trashy & very minimal intellect and maturity level. UGH.

[Twenty-ten]

Other than saying "he went back on his vows", how does a man touching another woman really hurt his SO? he cannot get pregnant..

 

Oh man, your comments are such a joke.

 

 

Ask yourself the same question, "if my Brazilian girlfriend was getting her snatch fingered right now by some dude as we speak and then she blows him for a little while, why would that bother me?"

[Twenty-ten]

I never paid for sex but I had a short lived player period.

 

 

Ok that's different, if you want to play around while single that's what sing;e people do. There isn't any shame int that really. You still didn't pay for sex, and I bet you wouldn't. Just like a lot of guys wouldn't for the sake of a quickie to have some discreet variety in the marriage.

[xxoo]

So if nobody finds out, he has his partner tested, and she has her tubes tied it is ok?

 

What do you think?

 

cali, fidelity often is greatly rewarded through the intensity of the human bond, but you'll never know those rewards if you don't open your heart to a woman and jump in with 2 feet. If you lie to the partner you love, you are actively creating distance and walls that, in the end, hurt you.

 

And, in turn, you are hurting your partner with the lies. What hurts the relationship hurts the loved one. You are denying her the honest connection she desires, as well.