freckles3131 Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 How would you feel about the following text that was sent from to my bf from a female friend... "Oh, you are missing a good time! Mike just picked me up off the barstool and started spanking me" To which he replied,"I'm not gonna even respond to that one" This girl is dating (unhappily) my bf's friend and my bf is friends with her through him and other guys... She is out with the guys all the time and is friends with all of them...I know my guy wouldn't cheat, heck he would delete the messages if there was somthing going on...but what is HER deal? Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Sounds like she is an attention whore. How did she get your bf's number to text him? It's inappropriate for her to be texting your bf. I'd advise your bf to NOT respond to her texts- to do so with a woman like this would be seen as encouragement. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freckles3131 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 She's his friends gf and she also works with another friend of his. I don't want my bf to know I looked at his phone. (it was there, it beeped, I looked...my bad) I'm not freaking out about this by any means, but do feel that responding is "encouraging" I can also say that she has texted him other times to which he did not reply....she seeks attention alot from him. Nothing this blatent more like "are you out with the guys? where u at? or...I'm the club with andy why dont you come? Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 She's his friends gf and she also works with another friend of his. I don't want my bf to know I looked at his phone. (it was there, it beeped, I looked...my bad) I'm not freaking out about this by any means, but do feel that responding is "encouraging" I can also say that she has texted him other times to which he did not reply....she seeks attention alot from him. Nothing this blatent more like "are you out with the guys? where u at? or...I'm the club with andy why dont you come? Well, I'd consider this girl "trouble". Has she made any attempt at all at being your friend?? If she hasn't, it's safe to say that she doesn't respect your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freckles3131 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 No, she hasn't...on the contrary...she has made "comments' about me. He and I have discussed it, he knows what kind of "person" she is. I come first with my boyfriend with the situation, this I have no doubt. I think to stir the pot or act like it bothers me to him or to her would give her some satisfaction. I think I should be the bigger "man" here and just let her make her own bed, and let her true colors come out and eventually what goes around come around.... Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 No, she hasn't...on the contrary...she has made "comments' about me. He and I have discussed it, he knows what kind of "person" she is. I come first with my boyfriend with the situation, this I have no doubt. I think to stir the pot or act like it bothers me to him or to her would give her some satisfaction. I think I should be the bigger "man" here and just let her make her own bed, and let her true colors come out and eventually what goes around come around.... Here's my take on the situation. Firstly, if this girl makes negative comments about you, your bf needs to support you by never responding to her texts. He shouldn't even be responding once and a while with the odd reply. Any response at all is actually supporting her and giving the impression that he is fine with her "making comments" about you. He may see it as being harmless, perhaps keeping the peace- but any response is encouraging her, and letting her know he is fine with her saying rude things about you. Most guys like to avoid confrontation and keep the peace, and a lot of the time they don't get female dynamics. This girl is a trouble maker. You are not stirring the pot by making it known that it bothers you to know he has fleeting exchanges with a woman that chooses to make negative comments about you. It would be great if he could come to that conclusion on his known- but sometimes guys can be a little daft:D. I'll tell you, if I was dating a guy and his friends gf made it known she wasn't my biggest fan and was seeking inappropriate attention from my guy- I'd intervene. He doesn't owe her anything. I think it's your bf's responsibility to make the choice to ignore this chicks texting. Neither of you have control over her being an azz-hole- but your bf is validating her simply by responding to her once and a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freckles3131 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 Yes, he did step up to the plate for me on the occasions where she would make her little "comments" Also, he has received numerous texts from her and doesn't respond.... I think looking at it again, that responding to this was kind of a "back off" and mature way to reply....(of course she can think what she wants...but if she texts him and 90% of the time he isn't writing back....then that would a plus.) Also, it seems pretty desperate of her to write what she did to him, me thinks....like she can't come up with anything else to get his attention.. I think she will get hers in the end... Link to post Share on other sites
mella Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 I agree with you. This girl super sucks. She will eventually do something that crosses the line with all involved and show her true self. I know it's annoying but I think your idea of letting her create her own downfall is the best way to go. I am sure she has few or no actual female friends. Insecure is what she is. Shame really. Look down your nose at her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freckles3131 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 You are correct. She has no female friends and only hangs out with the guys. *she is a mechanic so she feels awesome when talking trucks, but really never has anything else to add to the conversation, where as I....am quite colorful, intellegent, and well-rounded. Let HER be jealous of ME. Amen to that! Okay....all better. Thanks everyone, once again.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freckles3131 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 HELP! Need damage control!! I'm an idiot! Before I took the time to calm down over this.....My fiesty self decided to forward the text to HER bf from my bf's phone. (so her bf would know what she was up to...) This morning her bf texted mine and said, "I know" to which my bf replied "know what" and he said "about the text you sent me last night/about her" My bf was all, "I didn't send a text etc..etc.." He then asks me and my initial reaction was to DENY. gosh I wish my irish didn't get the best of me, now I'm sure all parties involved know I sent the txt to her bf. and now I look bad. Plus, I lied to my bf. what now? Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 The whole concept of deny,deny,deny when holding the smoking gun is just insulting someone's intelligence. My STBXW did this when I told her I knew about the video's of her in the bathtub she sent to her "guy friend on Wed morning. she looked me in the eye & said "I don't know what you are talking about" As if I just happened to randomly guess such a specific thing in an attempt to fish for information. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 How would you feel about the following text that was sent from to my bf from a female friend... "Oh, you are missing a good time! Mike just picked me up off the barstool and started spanking me" To which he replied,"I'm not gonna even respond to that one" This girl is dating (unhappily) my bf's friend and my bf is friends with her through him and other guys... She is out with the guys all the time and is friends with all of them...I know my guy wouldn't cheat, heck he would delete the messages if there was somthing going on...but what is HER deal? she is fishing for a response from your bf. its highly idiotic and immature for her to text him something like that. I'd nip this in the butt and ask her why she is texting your bf s##t like that. Is "Mike" the one that took her off the barstool and spanked her? If not, then her bf needs to know the kind of s##t she is texting your bf and getting all giddy about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freckles3131 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 Thanks Dexter for your reply. Ok, so it wasn't that "wrong" of me to forward the message to her boyfriend from my bf's phone. I figured 1) it would show him that she was behaving like that and 2) that she is being inappropriate by texting that **** to my boyfriend I think it was "wrong' of me to pretend to be my bf sending it to his friend, but hey...at least all parties involved now know what she is up to...correct? She has a history of texting my boyfriend all the time, (never asking for"us" to meet up with her, only him) and very flirty with him My boyfriend doesn't respond to them,99% of the time. He "sees" her for what she is and is only friendly with her because it's his friend's gf. If you look at my profile u will see there was an "incident" with her in the recent past.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author freckles3131 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 "Mike" is another friend of her boyfriends....not her bf. Link to post Share on other sites
Silver_star Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 The same thing was happeneing with my ex. His friends gf is an attention whore and texts all of her bfs friends. I dont know why her bf didnt have a problem with this, but apparantly he doesnt. And she would jump up on my boyfriend once he came in the room, and I told him that i fuond it uncomfortable and inappropriate, personally i thought she was hideous, but I dont jump on her bf so why would she jump on mine? Whats wrong with chicks like that? I really tried to like this girl too, because she doesnt have many girlfriends(wonder whY) but i took her out to a club with my friends without our bf's and she totally cheated on her bf while out with me (made out with some guy on the dance floor). Hello? I hate these chicks. Ever since me and my friends have gone out of our way to de-friend her, and shun her in public. She earned that disrespect. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Your BF needs to mano-a-mano with his male friend. Whole pack of inappropriate going on. Clear the air. Guys will often avoid this stuff with buddies simply because the buddy will believe the gaslighting spouse/GF and the discloser gets thrown under the bus because someone has to and the buddy wants to continue to get laid and that's his priority over his male friend. BF's male friend should have a 'talk' with his GF and your BF should block her phone. EOS. Appropriateness is restored Link to post Share on other sites
Author freckles3131 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 Here's the deal....she was texting him alot in the recent past. I told him I didn't care for it. He told her to not text. She asked "why is she the jealous type" to which he replied. No....etc...that it was just out of respect. We are at a party, he goes to hug her goodbye and she says loudly "better not hug me goodbye she(me) might get jealous" (honestly, I think SHE is jealous of ME...she's a one-trick pony with not much to bring to the plate, where as I am a very well-rounded individual. It got to the point where some people over heard her and drama ensued. She ended up saying things like "HE was texting me.....and if I didn't respond he wouldn't let up" Well this ticked my bf off. He printed out his cell phone bill...showed me first, then brought it to show his 3 closes guy friends (one being HER bf) and it showed her texting HIM 95% of the time with him not replying back etc.... So fast forward a month. A few texts from her here and there and calls to which he doesn't reply. Then this last one about Mike spanking her and how my bf is "missing out' to which I thought my bf replied very well too. So yeah...I forwarded it to her bf. He should know she is still at it and plus on top of throwing my bf under the bus to make him look bad by saying it was "him" all along.... this shows even more than ever how she pushes the envelope. And if she/they figure it was me..so what. I think it shows that I ain't messing around w/her ****e either. Just worried my bf will think I crossed the line. The thing is she works with one of his best friends, she is also part of a club they belong to and has no female friends because it's a truck club and she is mechanic. For my bf's part...I think he tries to be "friends" with her cuz 1) she is around all the time because of the above mentioned and 2) his friend is chosing to stay with her. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Here's how it works... Your boundary is his contact with his friend's girlfriend is unacceptable. 'Honey, that contact, even if she's texting/calling/smoke signaling you, is unacceptable to me.' Then, it is up to him to take proactive measures to meet that boundary. If he asks, offer him suggestions, like blocking her phone, not hugging her at meets, not responding politely to her flirting, whatever. It's up to *HIM*. If he doesn't respect your boundary, you do not interact with his friend/friend's GF. You walk. Bye-bye It's important that responsibility and consequences be assigned appropriately and in order. Right now, you're out of order. Bailiff..... Link to post Share on other sites
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