You Don't Love Me

[crazycatlady]

Ok, someone else brought this up in another thread, saying it was tossed out. And you see it in tv shows and you see it in movies and you read it in books.

 

However, I've never said during an arguement with my H "You don't love me!". I've not even considered saying it.

 

So I was curious, who here has said it or has heard it said to them?

 

Does this hurt your feelings?

 

Does that type of behavior and/or lack of confidence in your love make you feel resentful to your spouse?

 

Do you feel it is manipulative?

 

Does it make you doubt your spouse/so's love for you?

 

CCL

[threebyfate]

I've never said it but know that if I feel it, it's true.

[TaraMaiden]

I have to agree with that one, TbF....

[spriggig]

My kid said it when I wouldn't buy him an XBox.

 

I've never had an SO say it and I've never said it in any context. I had to REALIZE it for myself--that she doesn't love me, but to say it back at her would be just so much manipulative garbage.

[Lauriebell82]

My ex boyfriend would say this to me after I got upset at him for repeatedly lying to me about everything. I think it was just his way of manipulating me, I don't think he actually believed that I didn't love him. He said it as a way to suck me back in..and it worked until I wised up.

[xxoo]

My kid said it when I wouldn't buy him an XBox.

.

 

That was my immediate thought. Isn't this a 13 yo's line?

 

If nothing else, this is one of those dreaded "you" statements. I can imagine saying something like "I feel unloved" or "I'm worried don't love me the same anymore". But "you don't love me" is loaded and inflammatory.