Strip Bars are not so bad

[fantasy2000]

Unless a guy is a complete loser, he should be able to get women to be nice to him and enjoy his company without having to pay for it! You could walk into a regular bar any night of the week and have conversations and intimacy with beautiful girls for free... of course, if you're not a real man then I can see why you would have to pay to get girls to like you.

 

I have changed my attitude about going to strip bars. I don't go now. The reasons were that I was losing any chance at true intimacy with my SO and also the hypocritical secret life I was living to experience it.

 

However, I must comment on this idea that I was desperate to pay for female company. In my case that was not true. It seems to imply that I should be able to get a girl without having to pay. I was not looking for that. I did not want an affair. I was just building a little fantasy world on the side with "no strings attached" pardon the expression. When I left the club it was as if it did'nt happen. It was uncomplicated. It suited my purposes however misguided they were. I am sure that any man who has an extramarital affair is going to pay a lot more than a guy going for lap dances and it will haunt him in the end. Who will ever know how many times I went. Not even me.

[ADF]

Sorry, I have to disagree on thos one. First of all, your perception that all men like strip bars is just flat-out mistaken. Second of all, going to strip bar involves real interaction with real people. It is not quite that same as, say, looking at porn. I think wives have a legitmate right to ask their husbands to stay away from those places.

[shadowofman]

Like I said, strip clubs are different than porn. You are allowed to get off to porn. There is a possibility to take a stripper home though. I can see how this is more threatening.

[Peaceful Guy]

I believe wives or girlfriends need to be a little more understanding of this and not feel threatened by it.

 

um, **** no? there's nothing wrong with strip bars/clubs SO LONG AS your wife, girlfriend, partner is cool with it. not "okay with it", not "willing to tolerate it".. totally "have fun!"..

 

If he had a sex fantasy in his dreams would you feel hurt by that if he told you about it?

 

it would depend on the context in which it came up.. if my girlfriend and i had a fight and then she said "yeah well i blew a fishhorse in my dreams last night and his cum tasted better than yours.." :laugh: sure, ide be hurt!

[Eeyore79]

However, I must comment on this idea that I was desperate to pay for female company. In my case that was not true. It seems to imply that I should be able to get a girl without having to pay. I was not looking for that. I did not want an affair.

 

Why do you assume that "getting a girl" is equivalent to "having an affair"? You can walk into any bar (where the women are fully clothed) and chat to them for free for as long as you want, then walk away.

 

Why do you feel the need to chat to semi-naked women in a strip bar, when there are women everywhere? Do you think that women wouldn't want to talk to you unless you were paying them to do so?

[You Go Girl]

Perhaps for all men that do this--examining why you have such a need to have an imaginary sex life is in order.

Are things not satisfactory at home?

Is it an old habit?

Do you feel a need to be 'bad' and pretend promiscuity?

Are you lacking enough interests in your life outside of your work?

Does the thought of only seeing your wife naked and not other women make you feel less of a man?

Just ideas to consider.

[shadowofman]

Perhaps for all men that do this--examining why you have such a need to have an imaginary sex life is in order.

Are things not satisfactory at home?

Is it an old habit?

Do you feel a need to be 'bad' and pretend promiscuity?

Are you lacking enough interests in your life outside of your work?

Does the thought of only seeing your wife naked and not other women make you feel less of a man?

Just ideas to consider.

 

Disclaimer: I am speaking generally as if I am the voice of all men. So you other guys that don't feel like I do, we all understand that you are more evolved than us. Or whatever.

 

You are asking questions from a point of view that suggests that this behavior is abnormal. Consider the fact the monogamy is actually an unnatural sexual state. Before we invented language, we could not even discuss morality. Promiscuity was the norm. Even after language and civilization, promiscuity remained the default for a typical man. Modern moral code is only as old as a couple generations because a man was fully within his rights to have a mistress in nearly every culture.

 

A man's want for variety has absolutely nothing to do with dissatisfaction at home other than his dissatisfaction with monotony. Women that question this are doing themselves a disservice in assuming that a man is able to be satisfied.

 

Men don't feel lesser for not hunting women. It is simply a compulsion rooted in biology. It can be any degree of compulsion. Nearly zero or what you might consider a real good man. It can be moderate. It can be an intense compulsion, or what you might call addiction. We are biologically programed to seek out visual stimulus and to appreciate this stimulus from several sources. Thats part of the reason you love us, but also part of the reason you can't understand us. You want us to have eye's, but only for you. For many men this is impossible and indeed, unnecessary.

 

Men might feel a sense of entitlement in this case. There is no reason that anyone should ever be able to tell me what I can and can't look at. While we don't want to hurt your feelings, we also think you are being too sensitive.

 

I myself don't go to strip clubs because they are not worth the money. I do look at porn on a regular basis. Once, or twice a day. My SO doesn't like it and I don't advertise it so as not to hurt her feelings. It doesn't get in the way of my relationship with her. I focus my energy on her when it is possible. We have sex on average once a day, and I would take more if it were available. I would take it from other sources if allowed. I also work two jobs (60 hours) and go to school full time. Eat well and exercise. And I do recreational drugs. I watch regular movies and play video games. I'll be damned if anyone is going to tell me that I can't watch porn. I've sacrificed other women for love and I find that a big sacrifice. I am Man.

[You Go Girl]

Well I appreciate your honesty, shadow, if not your stance.

I don't compare what cave men did. If I wanted a cave man, I know there are plenty still out there, they're just not for me--they're not for most women.

We want more from you, or we don't deem you worthy of our devotion. That's how it is for, I am Woman.

 

For some men though, the questions I posed might be pertinent.