fantasy2000 Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Many male friends have told me that their wives were upset when they heard we went to Strip Bars together. One guy confessed to his wife that he had a lap dance and she told him he was unfaithful and was damaging their relationship. I think this is a bit of an exaggeration. Men are confronted by sexual images everyday on billboards selling products. It is natural for men to fantasize about those billboard girls. Lap dancing happens in a fantasy arena. It ends at the door when you leave. An affair is a real relationship and yes that would indeed be cheating. The question is, is lap dancing being unfaithful. I don't believe so. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Do you think if some guy puts his hand in your wife's crotch and rubs her off while she lets him that she just cheated on you ? Lapdances are cheating dude.. many of them end with sexual gratification of the guy dumping his load from her ass being rubbed on his crotch.. I'm guessing that you think lapdances are good for the marriage ? Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 It stops being fantasy and starts being reality when contact is being made. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Whether or not lap dancing is technically cheating or not isn't the point. I don't think a wife asking her husband not to have strippers grinding their butts against his crotch is unreasonable. Give her that much, at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fantasy2000 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 I think it depends on how open minded she is. What about an actor who does love scenes for a movie? Does his wife not need to be open minded about that? Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Apples and oranges. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 One guy confessed to his wife that he had a lap dance and she told him he was unfaithful and was damaging their relationship. It's totally inappropriate behaviour. And yes, it is damaging to a relationship/marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
FryFish Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 I would say that nearly ALL lapdances do not end ANYWHERE NEAR a guy "dumping a load" in his pants. Its not good business for the dancer to get the guy off, its good business to leave him horny. He spends more money that way. I have had a handful of them and most of the time there isnt even all that much "touching"... I do agree though that its NOT unreasonable for a wife to ask her husband to abstain from getting dances. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 (edited) Would that guy think she was cheating if it were his wife grinding out a lap dance on some other guy? If you're going to someone else to give or get sexual gratification, yeah, it's cheating and damaging to a relationship. Pretend it's fantasy if you want in order to justify it and rationalize it, but the only person's opinion that really matters is your partner's. If your wife dumps you on your ass for getting lap dances, the semantics of what you call it don't make a bit of difference. Edited March 22, 2010 by norajane Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 I would say that nearly ALL lapdances do not end ANYWHERE NEAR a guy "dumping a load" in his pants. Maybe where you live but in places where full contact lap dances are allowed it doesn't hold water that nearly ALL lapdances don't end with him dumping his load.. While wiki isn't the best reference sometimes it is just right.. In many clubs, the duration of a lap dance is measured by the length of the song being played by the club's DJ. Charges for lap dances vary. Sometimes, sexual partners will perform lap dances for their partners as a teasing kind of foreplay. From wiki.. Full-contact lap dances often involve non-penetrative sex where the stripper may rub her lap or genitalia (if naked) against the patron's. Local jurisdictions and community standards typically determine how much and where the patron can touch the dancer during the lap dance. In some cases, any touching by the patron is forbidden. On the other hand, absent any oversight by the club, various levels of contact may be negotiable between the participants. Clubs vary widely with regard to whether they enforce their rules, or turn a blind eye to violations. Some patrons wear a condom before they enter the club: along with wearing pants that are very loose, this allows the man to have so called dry sex, while being safe. It has been alleged that some club owners, by installing dark private booths and charging dancers steep stage fees, are covertly condoning and encouraging sexual acts between customers and dancers I'm just saying..... Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Cheating is anything that is a betrayal. Whatever is not acceptable - actual sex, cyber sex,lying, undisclosed spending, spanking the children, drinking and driving - if it has been discussed and agreed to as being a deal breaking act. Going ahead and willfully doing X is cheating. Two people can agree to an open relationship but to always discuss each new partner prior to any kind of intimacy at all. So while the husband has discussed 3 sexual partners and been given a green light to sleep with each, he can kiss one other woman with no discussion of this particular woman and be guilty of cheating but only with that woman and not with the other three. It all boils down to a broken agreement - whatever that agreement may be. If the guy knew lap dancing was not agreed on and got one anyway, he would be a cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fantasy2000 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 I don't think a lot of couples spend time discussing such agreements. Many women do not know what goes on in a strip club other than a girl on the stage swinging on a pole. It could clear a lot of things up though. However, I think a lot of men would be afraid to initiate such a conversation in case the wife wanted more details and it would dig up past experiences. You need to use some common sense if you go to these clubs. Stag parties are a similar situation. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 It's totally inappropriate behaviour. And yes, it is damaging to a relationship/marriage. ^^^^^^ This I'm sure you wouldn't have a problem with a male stripper rubbing his pecker all over your wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Errr, if you ask me "common sense" would be not putting yourself in a clearly sexual position with members of the opposite sex if you are in a committed relationship where your partners expects monogomy from you. And people wonder why there is a 50% divorce rate. Geez. Of coures alot of wives/gf are going to be upset hearing that their husbands chose to put themselves in sexual situations with other women. Usually other women that are 18-25 and stripping half naked. What about that situation is suppose to make a woman feel secure, safe and loved by her partner? Is it so impossible to ask men not to go to strip clubs and not get lap dances? Does a man really miss out on life by not attending these things? Why are men so eager to jepordize their wives/gfs feelings in the face of strip clubs? Link to post Share on other sites
SilkRose Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 I think it depends on how open minded she is. What about an actor who does love scenes for a movie? Does his wife not need to be open minded about that? Actors are artists, strippers strip so that men become aroused, if the wife in question is fine with that, then there's no problem. But if the wife's feelings are hurt, the husband needs to to pay attention and listen - if roles were reversed, she'd have to do the same. Alternatively the unhappy wife can start sliding down the pole herself, if it's just 'fantasy fun', she can strip, make some extra cash and give her husband some free lap dances. Simple right? Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 the unhappy wife can start sliding down the pole herself, Then they'll both be happy. YEOW! Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Looking at the strip club is one thing. But playing with a chicks tits while she grinds on your crotch is totally wrong when you are in a relationship. When I got serious with my STBXW I saved a lot of money by no longer buying lap-dances. Except the few times we went together & did the couples lap-dance thing. watching her feel up another woman while she grinded on my crotch was HOT. I nearly busted my nut when she put the stripper's nipple in her mouth. We didn't make it out of the parking lot before we were going at it. good times. too bad she turned out to be a cheater. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Alternatively the unhappy wife can start sliding down the pole herself, if it's just 'fantasy fun', she can strip, make some extra cash and give her husband some free lap dances. Simple right? Yeah. Watch how quick the tables turn there. All the sudden it's wrong. Which I never understood because if the guy isn't doing anything wrong from seeing the stripper, then the stripper isn't doing anything wrong by being seen. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Uh okay. Whatever floats your boat... as long as you don't mind your gf giving a lapdance to another guy, all's cool! Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 I don't think it's wrong for a guy to get lap dances from other random girls if he's ok with his girl giving lap dances to other random guys. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 I agree! you know..it's probably alot of fun to give lap dances to other men. Then you can go home and use all that sexual energy on your guy. I have a beautiful body and sometimes I like to display it and test my sexuality. Perfectly natural. Link to post Share on other sites
RobM Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 I'm cool with that, I would love to see my wife give a lapdance to another guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 I'm cool with that, I would love to see my wife give a lapdance to another guy. That's a pretty easy thing to say. Suggest it to her, if it interests you so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Touche Bejita. Link to post Share on other sites
RobM Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 I have suggested a few things like that, she made it very clear that while it's a turn on for her to think about it, fantasize about it, and maybe do it while pretending I'm a stranger, she has no interest in actually doing it in real life. So that was the end of that. Link to post Share on other sites
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