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working things out...


teanoranges

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teanoranges

no, not with the ex. with my life.

 

Where to begin? I've been planning to move back to a city I left months ago due to my stressful emotional patterns after my ex starting seeing a woman I worked with.. hence, I didn't want to work there anymore (didn't like the job anyways) and I couldn't fathom being able to find another job with all the stress... even though I did when I went to live back home.

Yes, I'm young and I'm dumb.

 

That being said, my plans seriously fell through and the people I was planning to live with ended up getting a place already and said little of inviting me.

Now, this isn't all that bad considering these 'mutual' friends are closer to him than with me. So, I'm almost looking at it as a blessing in disguise.

 

But now I feel horrible because I seriously don't know how I'm going to get there. I'm working hard on figuring it all out, but it sometimes gets me down.

I in no way want to see my ex or recommunicate with him, but I'm so angry at him for taking it all away from me.. just as I was starting to get settled there...

and I'm so angry at myself for allowing it to effect me in that way.

 

I'm a pretty positive person and I know things will work out, whether I get to move or not.

I sort of feel like its something I have to do though, to really redefine my independence and/or ego.

 

Keep in mind, I am young. I know I'm stupid at this age and hope to learn a lot to use in the future...

but all and any advice/bashing is allowed.

I'm just so confused, upset.. and okay at the same time.

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