Email from X

[Goatsbreath]

Hi, this is part of a email that a X from over 7 years ago sent me recently. See, we have still kept the friends thing going but she was real far away. However, recently she moved closer. Anyway, sense this time I have got a lot of mixed signals. Like for one, sometimes we go out and have some drinks and shoot pool or dance and then after, many times, we have went back to my house and slept together on the couch. Cuddling, I guess, nothing else and nothing said about it. Then she writes this.

 

hey there. just another email from lil old me. i am actually thinking of trying to get up there. i was thinking about trying to make a doctor's appointment to get some happy pills. this i was going to try to do on friday. and i have the weekend off. i figured that since i won't be getting insurance through my work until spring time, i might as well go up there and see someone for it, so i don't sink into a depression over the winter blahs and sean. plus the anxiety thing i'm sure will not be held at bay forever by my reminders to myself to take deep breaths! although it seems to help me relax because i constantly feel like my stomach is in a knot unless i'm making a conscious effort to relax (and take deep breaths). ah the subtle glories of mental illness!!!

i think you're at work now...you work during the week and then have the weekend off...is that right?

and i really do have some extra mittens, if want. i have some pink ones with flowers on them. white flowers. and then i have some lake state ones that are blue with the yellow anchors on them. also a matching fleece headband thing to go with those. you just say the word and they can be yours. actually, i wouldn't take those if i were you...they're not even very warm.

i take issue with your statement that 'there are friends to be made' from your last email. i thought that we had already discussed how kim does not seem to be the friends-making type?

and no i am not blaming you for what happened. i'm just trying to make sense of it all...and defend myself (to myself) as the non-instigator of the kiss. if any of that makes sense. forget it!!! it's done and over with.

but one thing that i do have a question about...at some point that night you got upset with me for whatever went down on the dance floor, i think it was when those guys created a pseudo-situation or whatever it should be called. when we got off the dance floor, you said alot of things to me, and some of them were of the 'i know we're friends but you know i have these feelings.....' nature. i guess i just want to know how much of that was for real. i know that we're friends no matter what but lately(like in the past year!) there's just been too many of the guys that i thought were my friends pretty much saying that the only reason that they're friends is because they want something more, and if there won't ever be anything more, than there might as well be no friendship. or that they can be friends with me, but if they ever start dating someone else, then we won't be friends anymore. please reassure me that this won't happen between us. i don't want anything more than to be friends with you. tell me the same.

ok bye.

hope to hear from you soon!

love, kim

 

OK, so how do I approach this. I guess its good that there is no mixed up feelings anymore but do I say, well sorry but the cuddling and stuff sort of confused me or do I not say much about it at all. Do I come back with a big explanation. Help me out. thanks

[Iamhappy]

I sent you a pm.

[Goatsbreath]

Hi, Iamnotnothing. THanks for your reply. Well, I think you are right. It don't look good does it. Even if somehow it did look good I think theres a boat load of confusion waiting to be dumped off somewhere. I guess I do need to just start applying my attention somewhere else and not get to rapped up in this situation. Im still not sure what sort of reply I should give her though. I dont know if I need a explanation. I just know we have been friends a long while.