Awkward Transitioning Tension

[JohnM]

So, it progressed from being just friends into something more.

 

I took a girl I like out a few times on non specific dates just so we could get to know each other. This was about 3 weeks ago and contact was very good, texting every day, chatting on facebook etc. We met up a few more times and hung out general activities whatnot. I took it that she needed more time as I believe she had only been single for about a month at this point so I let her dictate the pace.

 

Last week we kissed intimately for about a minute and I made sure to let her initiate so that I wasn't pushing things forward. When I left to head elsewhere we just hugged, no kiss. Afterwards I sent her a text when I had left letting her know that I understand if she needs time to get her self 'right' so to speak (it was put better than this dont worry!) and she said she wanted to take things slow as rushing in had not been beneficial in her past.

 

We met up a few days later and we were as close as usual, lots of hugging, playful poking and gentle caresses. I decided to just go for a simple quick kiss on the lips as I left her to keep the ball rolling so to speak. Communication continued at the same pace, which is starting to be a bit much, you know when you feel like you are texting with someone so much that you are using up ANY topics you can chat on when you actually meet up!? Phew.

 

Anyhow, we met up today. She came around and I took her bowling which was fun and we sat about town just chatting and being close. I don't know why but I just wasn't feeling anything today. Because I know she wants to take it slow I kind of feel like I'm moving backwards. Its as if I feel like turning this into a friendship instead because I'm starting to act less enthused about things. My mind is more occupied with thinking about how I'm behaving and trying to judge what she wants from me and when.

 

Its becoming a bit awkward, I can't even gauge when to try to kiss her or whether to push on with the small touches like holding her hand when walking around in case she isn't ready for it yet. When I left her today I ran off to catch my bus which was on the opposite side to where we were waiting. I guess I used it as an excuse almost to not have an awkward moment where I didn't want to be the one to initiate a kiss upon leaving and make it some sort of benchmark or token gesture of relationship affection every time we meet. God my head is getting muddled.

 

I don't know in which way to take this transitional period any more, do i stick it out and see if she wants to try and progress things?

[bubbles5]

See I think u should kiss her out of blue.I mean dont think much. If she she didnt like it she will get angry nothing much n u can say sorry but who knows she might b waiting 4 u to take charge of kissing her.I gues she might b shy or something n also once u kiss her n get intimate with her then see if u start feeling same. Or else start flirting around with her may b u wont feel that frndship feeling.Its happening bcos u r thinking too much n waiting for the right time.That right time u have to set.Flirt around with her. You wil get to know if she would like to have physical intimacy.

[JohnM]

I think it may be worth a roll of the dice to simply go with an intimate kiss out of the blue. Perhaps I'll give it a week, judge the signals and make a move out of the blue instead of attaching significance to when a kiss happens and make it more natural. I dont necessarily view the act of intimacy as an obstacle. Its the timing of when she is ready for the leap form relationship limbo into a full relationship. May friend suggested that she won't ever truly know, she will just wait and wait and at some point she will be ready without knowing it. I guess its just about me timing it right and being the person to make the leap and concrete the relationship?