kdark Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 So, today is my one year anniversary with my girlfriend. For the last four or five months, I have constantly been going back and forth between loving her, and wanting to break up with her. It's never anything she does. It always seems that when we talk on the phone, things seem fine, but whenever we get together for longer than a day or two, I start to get really anxious and want her to leave so I can be alone. And lately my patience is starting to get real thin because we have spent a lot of the past four days together. I feel bad because she has brought up us moving in eventually, and I know from the bottom of my heart, that I DO NOT want that, ever. But, I also feel that by not telling her that, that I am just leading her on. I know that she is just waiting for me to take the first in making the relationship deeper. She's expecting me to say things like "you're the love of my life", and "I want to spend the rest of my life with you", but I can't because I know it would be a lie. She has already said, while in tears, that she loves me more than anyone she has ever known, and honestly it kind of scared me when she said it, because I don't feel that way at all. I've been waiting a long time to see if I could grow to love her like that, but it just isn't happening. I know I should probably talk to her about it, but I know it would be devastating to her. It's tough. Thoughts? Comments?
Author kdark Posted March 23, 2010 Author Posted March 23, 2010 Oh god. She just sent me a text that she is going to meet me after I get off work. At SIX IN THE MORNING. I really don't want to spend my entire off day with her...
Els Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 Actually, do you love her at all? Four days a week (assuming it isn't four full days) really doesn't sound like toooo much, even for a reasonably non-clingy person, as long as they're in love. Did you feel any different in the beginning, or was it always like this? I don't mean 'did you want to see her at 6am everyday' (because that really is very early!!) but, did you enjoy spending time with her IRL? Did you feel you wanted to see her after a few days of not seeing her?
neoskunk Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 Just tell her exactly what you posted. In the end she will thank you for not leading her on anymore and you will be happy to be free of her. Have enough respect for her to tell her the truth. However, be careful and make sure you don't want to be with her. Sounds to me like she is going to take it pretty hard at least right away. Don't be the one that comes back saying you made a mistake because chances are she will always resent you for breaking it off.
Brightmoon Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 Actually, do you love her at all? Four days a week (assuming it isn't four full days) really doesn't sound like toooo much, even for a reasonably non-clingy person, as long as they're in love. Did you feel any different in the beginning, or was it always like this? I don't mean 'did you want to see her at 6am everyday' (because that really is very early!!) but, did you enjoy spending time with her IRL? Did you feel you wanted to see her after a few days of not seeing her? Good question. Why are you still with her Kdark?... I think you have left the relationship already. Just be honest with her so she can move on... and you can move on to someone who you look forward to spending the day with. She deserves honesty.
mrkleen Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 Stop WASTING HER TIME. If you are not happy, at least be a man about it and let the poor girl know. You are trying to have your cake and eat it too and that is totally unfair.
MizzBella Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 I agree with MrKleen - you are wasting this girl's time. I have had my time wasted, and it sucks. Break up with her and be firm about it. The sooner she can move on, the happier she will be in the long run. It is not enjoyable to be with someone who doesn't love you, so don't think you're doing her any favors by staying longer (despite what she says right now).
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