primer Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I am a happy, independent woman that lives in a small town. I work full-time at a job I enjoy, I have health insurance and a retirement plan. I work a part-time job too. I am single with no children and debt free. My #1 irritant: People that don't work. Because this is a small town, everybody knows everybody. There are single mothers that don't work. It is not because of the economy; there is a factory in town that cannot find enough workers. They quit the job they had. They do not get a lot of child support either because they have 50/50 custody. It really irritates me because I work my butt off for everything I have. Every single day I go to work for the pay check. I hate to even leave my office because I see the non-workers out for walks or driving around and I get mad. How can they do that? What can I do (or think) so this does not bother me so much? Link to post Share on other sites
Fouts Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Remember that you live in America and be thankful for that. Focus on the positives around you Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I guess it depends partly in the state you live in...but you might consider this: Unless a job offers a single parent health insurance and a wage high enough to support their family, pay day care etc....it may be nearly impossible for them to work even if they want to. Social Service support in some states offers great health insurance, rent assistance, day care etc....but the cut off point is so low that those wanting to work find that when they make even an average wage...they cant get the health insurance /other assistance. Either that or they just suck and irritate me too. Link to post Share on other sites
Rearden Metal Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 You sound jealous of their ability to be lazy and get by. Why not just focus on YOUR goals, and the only justification you need is the relative importance of your goals and what meeting them means to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author primer Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 I try to be proud of what I have, including my independence, but some days when I am stressed and would like some time off, I find myself jealous of people that don't have to work. I tell myself they are probably in debt and I would not want to live their life but they still pi$$ me off!! Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I try to be proud of what I have, including my independence, but some days when I am stressed and would like some time off, I find myself jealous of people that don't have to work. I tell myself they are probably in debt and I would not want to live their life but they still pi$$ me off!! Some people are just lucky enough not to have to work. Like for example.. the SAHM'S who's spouse makes a ton of money.. so she is has the beauty of beign able to stay home and care for the kids. I was one of those people.. still am, but now have and x.. a partime job from home. Not all are in debt....... and you really should drop the jealousy, that's not at all healthy for you. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author primer Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 I am talking about people that don't have spouses. My original post states that. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I am talking about people that don't have spouses. My original post states that. My apology.. as I must have misread. Mea:o Link to post Share on other sites
Clep Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I don't have to worry about others as it is wasted energy for me. I can't control it so why worry about it. I spend my time grateful for what I have, who I am and where I am going. Worrying about someone else is futile for me, as I keep myself busy enough just worrying about myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 You're jealous. Why should everyone else work just because you do? If you don't like it, then don't work. Link to post Share on other sites
taurusincus Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 I think it is quite natural to feel jealous when you see peers of your own sex living a life of leisure and not going through the grind of a professional life like you. but remember grass is always greener on the other side, i am sure those 'idle' women must be equally jealous of you,seeing you working hard,growing and moving around more confidently than them.remember you have lot to look forward to, than them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author primer Posted March 24, 2010 Author Share Posted March 24, 2010 i am sure those 'idle' women must be equally jealous of you,seeing you working hard,growing and moving around more confidently than them.remember you have lot to look forward to, than them. Thanks for the kind words. I try and tell myself that. I am proud to be self-sufficient and not depending on daddy or welfare. Link to post Share on other sites
JustLooking123 Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 There are many things that you don't know about their situations. They have to be supporting themselves somehow. It's not really your business how they manage their finances. Lost the chip on your shoulder and focus on the positive in your life! Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 I am a happy, independent woman that lives in a small town. I work full-time at a job I enjoy, I have health insurance and a retirement plan. I work a part-time job too. I am single with no children and debt free. My #1 irritant: People that don't work. Because this is a small town, everybody knows everybody. There are single mothers that don't work. It is not because of the economy; there is a factory in town that cannot find enough workers. They quit the job they had. They do not get a lot of child support either because they have 50/50 custody. It really irritates me because I work my butt off for everything I have. Every single day I go to work for the pay check. I hate to even leave my office because I see the non-workers out for walks or driving around and I get mad. How can they do that? What can I do (or think) so this does not bother me so much? Even though you have all the benefits, yet it is still frustrating. It was to me when I worked (I am now retired). Some do not have it as good as it may look to you... I can tell you that had I not worked I would not have what I have. I "worked" myself into a really nice life concerning certain things (am dealing with a lot of jacked up stuff right now, so have not had time to "enjoy" retirement). What are those people going to do when it comes to retirement age????? They have not paid into SSI, and there might not even be an SSI in 20 to 40 yrs. My daughter has 3 kids and cannot stand not working...ok none of her inlaws worked, all on some state assistance or nothing and actually they all have too much time on their hands and are continually in jail. I keep myself busy and have a thousand projects I'm dying to get to (but have to wait for the garbage to be done first)...so I stay out of trouble. When a person is young it is better to work...it keeps you fit, keeps your mind active, keeps you in touch with the REAL outside world, etc. All in all a person just feels better about themselves.... Link to post Share on other sites
iwanttolive Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 I think you're irked because you perceive them to be lazy and a burden to society. I'm frequently irked by lazy people because I think they are wasting the world's resources lol.. At the same time, you might be working too hard and have not indulged yourself for a while. A fulfilling life requires a delicate balance of work and leisure. It has been proven that a person feels he has a purpose in life if he does well at work. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 Its the worker bee, queen bee concept. THe worker bee does all the work and has to accomodate the queen bee who sits and does nothing. Uses up all the resources. Sorry I am with the poster on this one. Heck I work with people who make three times what I do and carry less then 5% of any duties placed to them. They pass it down the line. There will always be someone to *assign* the task too, So even in the work world there are folks that are less inspired to work and expect others to take on their duties. And that too is NOT okay. So I totally GET the posters turmoil. All I can say is this, at the end of the day, I get to walk out of my workplace knowing I gave 100% percent and carry a clear conscious of NOT passing the buck. Thus a wee bit more self respect and wee bit less respect for those co-workers . Our enviroment does affect us...one is not built with blinders. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 Sounds like there is a part of you that is bitter, i.e. resentful or jealous of a part of their scenario. I am not saying you are a bitter person at all!! - you sound very nice - but usually when someone is SO bothered by something other people are doing, it is because they reflect (or don't reflect) something about yourself that you want to fix, change, don't like, etc. I think there is something in your situation that you might admit to wanting to change so you get (maybe?) a few of the perks you perceive these women to have? Link to post Share on other sites
Peaceful Guy Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 What can I do (or think) so this does not bother me so much? im gonna give you some advice that i used to tell my students and frequently have to remind myself of.. don't worry about what they're doing, you just worry about yourself and you'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
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