HurtinginVA Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 Hubby came home last night and piped up with a strange comment. Over the weekend he had gotten a call from an old friend. Someone he went to PI school with. He was going to work for this guy but then got offered another job. Then his cell phone number changed because of.....well.......the OW. So anyways, this friend of his, Jose, is older, 40ish (yeah I know thats NOT old but older to us at 22 and 23:D) Well, when he got off of work yesterday he stopped by this guys house and told him our current marital situation etc. H gets home and says, "I talked to Jose about what was going on. The same thing happened to him with his first wife, and you know what he told me? He said the best advice he could give me was not to leave, and to work things out because leaving was the biggest mistake he ever made in his life". I said, "Oh yeah?" He says "He really reassured me, made me feel better about the decision we've made" and I ask what is that? He says "To stay and work things out". Well, duh. Did he really need this guy to tell him that for him to get it? Do guys value the opinion of other male friends over that of their SO's and family? Just curious Link to post Share on other sites
Kriz Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 Not necessairily. We DO however value the opinion of people who go through the same thing we did over other people's opinion. Just as you would value the opinion of a restaurant chef over the opinion of your husband concerning cooking. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 Think about LS. LOTS of people post here asking for stories from people who have undergone similar experiences. Often, the experience of someone else who has travelled the same path is particularly invaluable. Be real thankful this friend came by!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
maxmuscle Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 HurtinginVA, I will be very thankful this guy shared some insight into your ex's thinking process. It's like a light had turned on in your ex's head. Sometimes it takes other people to make another person realize mistakes. Just because he is your ex doesn't make it automatic that he is going to listen to you about the situation. It may take an outsider who has wisdom or travel down the path you and your ex are experiencing now. I wish my ex can get the same guiding light your ex got. Also..........HurtinginVA, some people need to grow and learned through life lessons. People just don't listen to know one these days. Everybody feel like they are going to march to their own drummer. If you can't listen to people or get the wrong advice from people then that's when life takes over and teaches you a lesson. I rather listen to people then learn a lesson through life. Life can be brutal and extreme when it teaches you a lesson. That's why people tell you to lesson because they don't want you to go down the road they've been because they never listen. Life put them through hard lessons. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HurtinginVA Posted January 13, 2004 Author Share Posted January 13, 2004 your ex's thinking process your ex's head He's not an ex! Not yet anyways LOL Thanks for all the responses. I was really being a bit of a smart a$$ with the post, it's funny how he listens to this guy (which Im REALLY glad he did) over anyone else who's had something to say about it. Whichever works for him, as long as we are keeping our family together and working towards a better tomorrow Im happy Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Everyone has their favorite advisors and confidants. It's normal and you should promote that kind of contact, it's healthy. Jose deserves some kudos for his honesty. Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 I wonder if this might be some sort of "occupational hazard" among those in their profession. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 I think it validated something he already knew in his heart!!!!! Advice from an 'older' person......is always a value. (as per the Bible) I'm sooo glad things are working out J. I'm so proud of you for hanging in there. You are a good wife and mother....... Arabess Link to post Share on other sites
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