ojibwaywmn Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 Hi everyone; I am feeling conflicted in regards to my ex. He is on my MSN Messenger and find it hard to "delete" him. A part of me feels I should just take him off and try to move on as much as possible. Another part of me feels that I shouldn't have to "hide" from him as he was the one who hasn't been honest during our relationship. I asked him to get rid of my pertinent info as I wouldn't be making contact. But it is pretty obvious that he hasn't. I am still on his messenger list and kept my email addy's. The last time he talked, he kept saying how much he wanted us to be good friends and get along. Am I being too soft? I do have feelings, but he has played with them and now I don't know how to be around him. I guess I just don't want him to see or think that I am hiding in a corner because of what happened. Opinions? Advice? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
AMN819 Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 Wow..I was there about 3 months ago. I know it's hard b/c in a way you think "this way I know if he is online and if he writes to me it means he cares about me". BEEN THERE! My best advice. DELETE HIS NAME NOW. It took me about 2 weeks to get the courage to do it..but, the truth is...he will still see YOU are online and if he wants to talk to you, he will. It's just gonna hurt you if you see him online and he doesn't say anything to you! If you wanna be REAL good...Block him from writing. That's the step that took me a month or so, but it'll come. You'll realize he just hurt you and doesn't deserve you!!! Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
maxmuscle Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 ojibwaywmn, Your not being soft. You still love him, eventhough, he was dishonest with you. You are not ready to let go of him regardless of what happen. That is why you still have him on your MSN. I still have my ex email address, both work and private in my inbox. I told my ex I was not going to contact her anymore because she pissed me off. She is still playing games, but I still have all her contact info. I did not delete them. She emails me to say "she is sorry and I know you are made at me, but I still love you and thinking about you." My suggestion is to hold on to his contact info because you never know what can happen. Besides, will it make you feel better to delete him off you MSN? Link to post Share on other sites
darling Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 I completely agree with AMN819. There is no reason to inflict yourself with so much pain of the past. LET IT GO!!! You will find someone else. I know it is easier said than done, but have faith in yourself. If your relationship is over, there is a reason for it. You might not see it right now, but you will see it over time. Just see it as a learning experience and you are a better person because of it. ~darling Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 it's not like you cannot put him back on your list and re-enter his info....after you have deleted it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ojibwaywmn Posted January 13, 2004 Author Share Posted January 13, 2004 You are right, I still love him despite what has happened. It is weird seeing his name online and not talking to him. But I know it would feel more weird wondering if he is online or not. I guess if he does to IM me, I don't have to answer, or be distant with him. These are the times when I wish I can be more of a heartless wench..ha ha...but it is not my nature to be that way. I just don't want him to see that he has "beaten" me with his emotional games. That I am still here despite what has happened. If that makes any sense. Anyone else struggle with this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
darling Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 His actions speak louder than his words. Read into what he does, not what he says.... His doesnt message you that much and when he does, he asks to be friends. WHat do you think that means? At least that guy didnt play games with you, sweety. I am sorry, but move on. He is no longer interested. Just because something amazing happened in your past, doesnt mean it is going to make him come back to you... SO many people forget about the amazing things you have shared... Unfortuantely, the other partner is left there crying and waiting. You are like a stone right now. Within you is a beautiful jem. But you need to scrub, polish and work on it until the jem begins to shine and radiate. Until then, you have to be on your own, working on yourself and finding yourself. Just dont be hung up on him or any other guy. Waiting for him is only going to turn you into an obssessive mess. You dont want that. You want to be the best person you can be for you and only you. A good man will see you for what you are, appreciate you and will want to stick it through until the end. ~darling Link to post Share on other sites
Author ojibwaywmn Posted January 13, 2004 Author Share Posted January 13, 2004 Well after reading these posts, I went to my MSN Messenger to delete him. When I looked to see if I am still on his list, it looks like he deleted (but not blocked)me sometime this afternoon. I was shocked but realize it is for the best. I did say to him before Christmas that I won't be making any sort of contact. I need time to learn that I can live without him, before I can let him back into life. Being friends or whatever. I miss him alot, but he made a choice to go back to his former common-law wife and their 2 children. Not much I can do or say about that. Link to post Share on other sites
darling Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 Sweety, I know that it is hard.... But you need to find some sort of closure. I know I dont know you, but I am very proud that you were determained enough to delete him from your messenger ( i know how hard it was for you). You have made the first step of moving on... Now the choices are endless. Just be strong and think about yourself first... ~darling Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Does he know you are on here? Are you using the same name on MSN? Maybe he saw your earlier post and pre-empted you. If so he is probably reading whatever you post here, and the spineless jellyfish doesn't have the balls to contact you though he is obviously interested. If he is interested enuf to follow you around the net, he should be a man and contact you. Or it's just a coincidence. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 It's quite possible to find out a lot about you simply by googling your forum username, keep that in mind next time you choose one. Like, not only have you given us your location when you registered here, but we can infer that you are of Native American descent, or at least enjoy Native American culture, simply by googling your name. There's probably more out there, and it ends up as a chain reaction of personal data that is not conducive to anonymity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ojibwaywmn Posted January 14, 2004 Author Share Posted January 14, 2004 Well to be honest, he is not very proficient in using the net. Just with IM's and email. I had to teach him how to do an attachment. But if he does read what I post, then he would know what I am going through. Link to post Share on other sites
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