NotaBadGuy Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 I ponder this question quite often. I was recently told by the person who I recently married that she was not in love with me and never was the way that love is supposed to be in that instance. She said she loved me, but a friendship kind of love (but still married me and spent the last 2 1/2 yrs with me - married only 6 months though - now in process of divorce). I would bet my life on it that she did love me truly at one time, but I now see the reality that she was not willing to hold onto it. How do you marry someone without being in love with them in the right way? Does it happen? If so, does it happen often? So now I ask myself what true love is and how do you know when you have it or when you don't? I thought I had it, but apparently, I was able to fool myself into believing I did. Or was it just a copout on her part? Just looking for opinions on the subject. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 True Love: when both people can't wait to be together, and trust each other totally, and love being close, and want the best for the other person even if that means delaying their own gratification. Yes, you can think you have True Love going two ways. Then it can go off the rails. Some people divorce, some people do some heavy lifting to get it back. Don't get all bitter on women now. Link to post Share on other sites
BklynGuy Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 I'm still trying to find the answer to that question, and wonder if it does "truly" exist. Link to post Share on other sites
RobertoPNW Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Love is............ patient kind not rude not proud not self-seeking not easily angered Love does not envy Love does not boast Love keeps no record of wrongs always protects always trusts always hopes always perseveres never fails Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Originally posted by BklynGuy I'm still trying to find the answer to that question, and wonder if it does "truly" exist. You won't wonder when you find it. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Originally posted by RobertoPNW Love is............ patient kind not rude not proud not self-seeking not easily angered Love does not envy Love does not boast Love keeps no record of wrongs always protects always trusts always hopes always perseveres never fails So beautiful Roberto.....and written by the King of Love. If I could master any particular Christian trait...it would be this one. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Originally posted by Arabess If I could master any particular Christian trait...it would be this one. Gawd, I avoide patience like the plague. I make careful to never pray for it, lest I actually be given it. If I could have any trait of Christ, it would be the multiplication of food goods. Link to post Share on other sites
RobertoPNW Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Originally posted by BklynGuy I'm still trying to find the answer to that question, and wonder if it does "truly" exist. It does....have you ever seen an elderly couple who have been married 50 years and they still hold hands? That's love. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Originally posted by RobertoPNW It does....have you ever seen an elderly couple who have been married 50 years and they still hold hands? That's love. Sometimes it's love. Sometimes it's so they don't fall down. Old people are like that. I've totally crapped on this thread, haven't I? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 No Dyer....you just added some comic relief. I think I posted this once....but when Warren Beatty was to marry Annette Benning....the question was posed as to what was about this one women which caused the famous bachelor to change his ways. He replied "When she walks into the room....I feel better.". That's always how I've measured love. Link to post Share on other sites
RobertoPNW Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Love is when you tell your SO to "get up early in the morning cuz we're gonna go rob the bank" and he/she says "ok what time?" Well, we really wouldn't do that to our beloved SO. But do you get the idea? Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 i remember when me and my ex were out on a romantic walk she would she old couples in their 60's & 70's walking holding hands and she would say wouldn't it be wonderful to be like that at their age! wouldn't this be the most idealistic situation? well i think so! Link to post Share on other sites
NotaBadGuy Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 I still look up to my grandparents and what they had. Married for over 60+ years. Honestly, I always dreamed of the type of relationship my grandparents had. It was in the way they talked about each other. It was in the way they looked at each other. It was in their smiles and laughs. It was in every facet of their life. That is what I have always searched for. That is what true love is to me. But I cannot convince myself that it exists. Maybe I just keep ending up on the bad end of the stick. I don't know. "Don't get all bitter on women now." --> I am not bitter on women. I just have a hard time understanding the character flaw I must have to keep winding up with women who drag me through thorn bushes time after time. I am not a bad guy as my name says. I know plenty of other guys who are out there doing things that are so WRONG and that I would never imagine doing and who is the one that gets left in the dust (for some loser at that). And does the saying that "what comes around goes around" even really mean anything or is it that same sort of comment your parents make when you don't make the ballteam in grade school in an attempt to make you feel better? Link to post Share on other sites
NotaBadGuy Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Just why do some women and men play games with honest and caring individuals and thank they are so slick to get away with it? I mean lying to your face is pretty blatant? No conscience? No morals? What is it? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Love is when you tell your SO to "get up early in the morning cuz we're gonna go rob the bank" and he/she says "ok what time?" I once told my husband that if I found he had committed a homicide, I would turn him in unless I felt he was justified. He was horrified, because he said he would always shield me from the law even if I had been totally in the wrong. I guess he loves me. Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker Sometimes it's love. Sometimes it's so they don't fall down. Old people are like that. I've totally crapped on this thread, haven't I? ROTFLMAO! My spouse and I hold hands when we go out -- sometimes we link arms. Some very young woman (maybe 20 y/o) commented on it once and said it was sweet at our age. My spouse just looked at her and calmly said "If I let go he falls down and his dentures pop out" and we kept on walking! We are not THAT old! (PS: I don't wear dentures) People are still active and healthy and have active healthy sex lives well into their 70's and 80's and even 90's! I don't know any 90 y/o's personally, but I do know that my parents are still healthy and active and they are in their late 70's. Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t31207/ Read this thread -- I think this is a fantastic illustration on what true love is. Not the specifics of the situation -- but the fact that they stuck together and have come out the other side of a heck of a lot of pain and are still together. THAT is love. Link to post Share on other sites
RobertoPNW Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Originally posted by SoleMate I once told my husband that if I found he had committed a homicide, I would turn him in unless I felt he was justified. He was horrified, because he said he would always shield me from the law even if I had been totally in the wrong. I guess he loves me. That's right, I would protect my SO to the very end. Check this link on friendship, just substitute "real friend" for "true love". Link to post Share on other sites
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