Should I end this friendship?

[Kelly]

I am in a friendship with someone who for the most part is great. It's almost as though we are dating because we call each other everyday, he stays at my house, we go to movies, dinner and all that, there has been some intimacy and I honestly find myself falling for this guy. He says he doesn't date, but this situation we're in makes me feel as though he is my boyfriend. I have not told him how I feel about him directly, yet I do give him clues like telling him that he looks great, letting him know that I appreciate him and telling him that I care about him a lot. I think he has some mood problems or something. It seems like whenever I do things lately it gets on his nerves. If I don't drive fast enough, if I get quiet for no reason, if I have had too much to drink at a club and get a little loud(not in a rude way), if I look at him too long he thinks I'm staring at him, he just seems to be on my case for every little trivial thing. It makes me feel like a child who is being scorned by her father or something. The other night we went to a club and it had been a while since I had alcohol so it hit me pretty fast. The evening progressed, we danced, had some shots and as we were leaving the club I let out a little, "WhooHoo". I was having a good time and not causing harm to anyone. We got into the car and he told me that by doing that I embarrassed him. We got to a restaurant to eat breakfast and he wouldn't say more than a few sentences to me. He told me that I was embarrassing him because I held my head in my hands and closed my eyes periodically. I held my composure like I always do when I drink and he just kept nagging me. We got to my place and he then started lecturing me about how I was old enough to know better and that I should learn how to limit myself. I explained to him that I had done nothing wrong and that I didn't expect the alcohol to affect me so fast. He told me it wasn't his problem and then got all his stuff together, told me to go to bed, rambled on about some other stuff I didn't hear and then slept on the floor. I am at odds about what to do. I don't feel that I did anything wrong, I did not make a scene at any of the places we were at, the only thing I can say that might have set him off is that when we went into the restaurant, some guy was staring and smiling at me. Am I correct in saying that this was just some overdramatized jealousy confrontation? I'm not saying that I am perfect, but I remember everything that went on that night and I've been around enough intoxicated people to know that I did nothing wrong. Please help me with any advice you can. I would appreciate it.

[Randy]

I took from your post that you seek an opinion as to why he has developed this critical behavior in general, not specifically his antics when you went to the club and afterwards.

 

My feeling is that this guy is scared to death of his feelings I think he is falling for you in a big way and is fighting it really hard by finding faults with many aspects of your behavior. This happens often.

 

There is probably something in his background, maybe in his childhood, that has made him very uncomfortable with love and matters of the heart. It probably seems awkward for him to be falling in love with his dear friend. He may or may not be picking up on your hints that you share some feelings for him. In any case, I grant you he is scared of the development.

 

A really good, kind talk with him may end this constant criticism and put the friendship back on track. Both of you need to share your feelings and explore exactly what is going on between the two of you. At the very least, you should try to preserve the friendship.

 

Perhaps you should stop seeing and talking to each other so often for a while and let things cool off. You'll have to decide on that mutually. However, it seems this is a frienship that can be saved and upgraded if both of you have the desire and you can make him feel comfortable with a more initimate experience.

 

It is amazing that these kinds of situations screw up friendships when I think two friends of the opposite sex falling in love is the very best way for it to happen.