Lizzie60 Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 My 'scout dad' ... for the first time in 7 years showed me a picture of his wife and kids... When we first started seeing each other, his youngest was about 3 years old... We talked a lot about his W and kids.. but since he's terrified to be caught.. he never showed me pictures.. and I never asked.. I know where his business is... he is a very successful businessman... I had imagined his W completely the opposite of what I've seen in the pic.. I thought she was tall and skinny, with dark short hair... funny how we picture people ... I don't find they match together... I have to admit that I was a little bit flattered by his 'trust'... Link to post Share on other sites
CollectiveVelvet Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Interesting. So what did his wife look like? Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 Why wouldn't he show you a picture and why was that a component about being, or not being, caught? Was he afraid that you were a bunny boiler? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 28, 2010 Author Share Posted March 28, 2010 Interesting. So what did his wife look like? I said I had a mental picture of her.. which was the opposite of what she really looks like... She's 42 or 44 (I forgot).. light blond, hair to her shoulders with a bang. She might have 30 lbs extra.. not sure. His 3 boys are really cute.. dark hair, nice smiles.. they look happy... and I know they are.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 28, 2010 Author Share Posted March 28, 2010 Why wouldn't he show you a picture and why was that a component about being, or not being, caught? Was he afraid that you were a bunny boiler? It has nothing to do with being caught or not.. I know he's traumatized about being caught.. and the fact that he has a new IPhone with all those pics in it.. I guess the phone made the difference.. He's not the type to carry real pictures in his wallets. Thinking about it.. I think he always trusted me.. it has nothing to do with trust.. I know where he lives, I know where his business is.. so it would have been pretty easy to find her... Link to post Share on other sites
one of billions Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Though I was curious, it always seemed a bit strange when I would see the wife’s picture for the first time. She never was as I pictured either. Interestingly, I’ve nearly always been opposite in appearance from her. Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 I think its sweet Lizzie. You are his friend as well as his lover and he wanted to share that with you. It is interesting how different people can be in real life than we imagine them. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 (edited) So, I would assume that you feel you are more attractive than the BW. Please forgive me if I am wrong, but didn't you say that another BW looked like a horse? My question is, are any of your MM married to attractive women (in your eyes)? Does the "scout' MM think his wife is attractive? Did you tell him that she didn't measure up to your expectations, and you don't think they fit together. Just wondering how honest you were with him. Edited March 30, 2010 by herenow Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Regardless of what Lizzie may think about his W, its obvious that he is very proud of his family - and that includes his W since she is pictured as well. I tend to agree with jj, though. It was sweet that he wanted to show her who he is with when he is not with her. He feels that they are becoming friends. Sweet, but misguided. Not uncommon in his situation. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 My MM would all eventually think we were friends and want to share stuff. And to some extent it was true. I guess. Recently I have been thinking that maybe I had been callous in the past when breaking up with an AP. I would just move on, and be kind of irritated or confused as to why they could not always just grasp "over". I know now its because they really thought that, affair aside, we were friends. I dont know. I mean, none of my real friends pays my rent or buys me jewelry. Do you really think they felt we were close friends? Should I feel bad? Link to post Share on other sites
JustJoe Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 2sure, if you have to pay for it, it can't be worth much. If a "prostie", likes a customer, so what? If he stops paying, she's gone, to greener pastures. True? Your situation maybe different, and so might Lizzie's, but the bottom line is, if we invest in ANY relationship, we expect "bang for the buck". Whether it's a marriage , affair, or business, if Our needs aren't being met, we go where they will be. Link to post Share on other sites
JustJoe Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Jthorne has a very good point. A friend is someone that you trust to have your six. Someone you can depend on, through thin or thick. Your AP's don't sound like friends to me, acquaintances, maybe, but true friends, I don't think so. Lizzie's MM showed her a pic of his family, did Lizzie show him a pic of her's in return? If he ceases to meet Lizzie's need, that pic won't mean squat. JMO Link to post Share on other sites
JustJoe Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 BTW, I'm not judging any one's relationships:), I'm just a Cynic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 I think its sweet Lizzie. You are his friend as well as his lover and he wanted to share that with you. It is interesting how different people can be in real life than we imagine them. I think we have develop a strong friendship.. he knows he can trust me.. they are building their dream home.. and he wanted to share with me the pics of his house.. and then he said.. do you want to see my sons.. I said yes of course... then he said.. well...you'll see my wife too.. I said 'it's OK.. I'll put a face on the name' Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 So, I would assume that you feel you are more attractive than the BW. Please forgive me if I am wrong, but didn't you say that another BW looked like a horse? My question is, are any of your MM married to attractive women (in your eyes)? Does the "scout' MM think his wife is attractive? Did you tell him that she didn't measure up to your expectations, and you don't think they fit together. Just wondering how honest you were with him. He showed me 2 pics of her.. but it was taken quite far so I couldn't see her face clearly.. but I know she's light blond.. and chubby. This guy is completely crazy when he comes home... he's constantly telling me I'm soooo beautiful... that he loves me... that we'd be happy together.. it's non stop. He adores kissing.. my lips hurt when he leaves. My other MM's W (from work)... she's the most hideous woman I've seen ... she looks like a man dressed with woman's clothes.. ewwww.. My youngest MM has a sweet gf (she's expecting her 2nd baby).. she is the 'pageant' blond type.. very cute. The others I don't know.. never seen them.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 Regardless of what Lizzie may think about his W, its obvious that he is very proud of his family - and that includes his W since she is pictured as well. I tend to agree with jj, though. It was sweet that he wanted to show her who he is with when he is not with her. He feels that they are becoming friends. Sweet, but misguided. Not uncommon in his situation. This is one case I'm absolutely sure that if he could just 'switch' his W for me.. without changing anything else in his life.. he would.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 Jthorne has a very good point. A friend is someone that you trust to have your six. Someone you can depend on, through thin or thick. Your AP's don't sound like friends to me, acquaintances, maybe, but true friends, I don't think so. Lizzie's MM showed her a pic of his family, did Lizzie show him a pic of her's in return? If he ceases to meet Lizzie's need, that pic won't mean squat. JMO He has seen pics of my kids and grankids before.. I have nothing to hide. Link to post Share on other sites
JustJoe Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 So maybe you are different, Liz. But would either of you go to the other's bedside if they were injured or seriously ill? Knowing that your affair would probably be discovered? And how respectful is that to the wife? Now I'm not saying your relationship is wrong, God knows I've no room to talk, but to claim real friendship in an affair is a real stretch for me. You might "get along", but friendship is so much more than a few pics and sex. True friendship entails as much committment and honesty as any profound, inclusive, relationship. JMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 So maybe you are different, Liz. But would either of you go to the other's bedside if they were injured or seriously ill? Knowing that your affair would probably be discovered? And how respectful is that to the wife? Now I'm not saying your relationship is wrong, God knows I've no room to talk, but to claim real friendship in an affair is a real stretch for me. You might "get along", but friendship is so much more than a few pics and sex. True friendship entails as much committment and honesty as any profound, inclusive, relationship. JMHO. 'true friendship' is too strong.. I agree... I should have used 'we get along great'... he's my longest A (over 6 years now).. but to say he would be at my bedside.. NO.. not at all.. I have two bestest friends and children. We would never do anything to jeopardize his M.. he's quite happy, except for the sex. He's got a great business and has too much to lose.. Link to post Share on other sites
JustJoe Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 That's cool, Liz. The reason I'm interested is that it reminded me of the whole "can we be friends after the affair", thing. If you ever became exclusive with a man, would you be able to be real friends with the MM's? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 That's cool, Liz. The reason I'm interested is that it reminded me of the whole "can we be friends after the affair", thing. If you ever became exclusive with a man, would you be able to be real friends with the MM's? I think so... but only if 'real friends' in this context, does not include the BS.. ;) Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 I think we have develop a strong friendship.. he knows he can trust me.. they are building their dream home.. and he wanted to share with me the pics of his house.. and then he said.. do you want to see my sons.. I said yes of course... then he said.. well...you'll see my wife too.. I said 'it's OK.. I'll put a face on the name' How wonderful for you! Now you can picture her in your mind when you're both in bed together and how way more fantastic you are than she is! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 How wonderful for you! Now you can picture her in your mind when you're both in bed together and how way more fantastic you are than she is! Ha!... you have no idea how far in my mind the BS is when I'm with her husband.. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Glad to give you the response you were looking for all along. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Ha!... you have no idea how far in my mind the BS is when I'm with her husband.. Really, I would think that the BS should be out of your mind while you are having sex with her H. But, f you would rather have her in your mind, then to each his or her own. Kinda sick IMO, but that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts