crazy about my friend

[trueluV]

i posted about this on the dating site but i think it belongs here, so i'll tell my story here again.

 

it could seem long, but please bear with me.

thanks!!

 

so, this guy friend of mine and i met up last week in 2 years.

He's a really sincere friend of mine, and since 3 years ago when we first met in a group of other friends, we had mutual attraction but just the two of us never met separately until 1 year past. we met up a few times, as good friends, (a lot of conversations, encouraging each other, etc), and one night we ended up sleeping together. he told me he doesn't want a girlfriend, and i felt rejected and moved on. (to tell the story short. you can check my earlier post from 2 years ago about this).

 

he's a nice guy, and is/was a good friend of mine so he would sometimes check on me but i always reacted cold, and for 2 years i haven't contacted him at all.

 

last week, after 2 years, i suddenly miss him so much (obviously i still have feelings for him) and contact him and he tells me he's happy hearing from me and suggests meeting up. we meet at a bar/restaurant and talk till the place closes. we talk for 5 hours, and he asks me if i want to come over to his place, so i thought why not and go.

 

fast forward it a bit: we didn't end up sleeping this time, but we kissed and cuddled a lot, and he was just so sweet to me, i felt like melting... he's not so verbal so he didn't say much, but he kissed me a lot held me throughout the whole night in a non-sexual way, i felt he was really caring about me.

 

i'm a bit sad too, because i don't know what will happen, or i know what will happen.

 

what should i do now if i want this to progress?

please don't tell me to move on he won't change his mind.

I'd like to at least try.

 

please help me

 

thanks

[WTRanger]

I'd say let this play out. There's nothing you can do to force it to work, but you can do everything to force it not to work.

 

I can't say it will work, or anything will ever progress out of this. Just be aware of what you are doing. If you want more out of him, don't be willing to compromise. Don't seek a loaf a bread, when all you are getting is crumbs. By not settling, don't sleep with him before you know where you want this to go. If you do this without knowing what you exactly want, it will end in heartbreak of all heartbreak.

 

You've got the benefit of time on your side. 2 years can mature a lot of people. Does it ring true in this case? Only time can tell. If he's not pushing forward, then you must push it forward. Put yourself on the line. It's the only way to know. Then, even in worse case, at least you know you tried. You gave it your all. The downside, is all he knows is that you've reacted cold in the past. You need to show him that you've warmed up a bit.

Edited March 30, 2010 by WTRanger

[trueluV]

yeah, i know...

 

I'm trying to show him i warmed up and i am mature now.

 

i email him last night and he replied this morning and said he was happy to see me and i look better than 2 years ago, hahah.

 

i told him to let me know if he wants to hang out with me this week, and he said he'll try to find time for that.

nothing's sure now, but it doesn't look too bad for now.

 

when i see him next time, i'll enjoy his company and have fun. but not try to expect more. i guess only time can tell.

[WTRanger]

You have to constantly keep your feet on the ground. You can't build sandcastles in the sky in your mind. That'll further complicate this issue.

 

For now, just keep living your life. If he chooses to be a part of it, then so be it.