can we stay friends?

[theotherwoman]

Hello all. I am new here so i will just dive right in. I have been involed with a married man for about 3 years and in the beginining it was just what i needed because of everything i had goin on but i think i fell in love with him

 

he was completly honest with me from the begining. we are very close we talk about everything that happens in our lives.

 

i am unsure of whether or not to end it or stick it out a little longer. i do not want to lose the friendship. he knows so much about me.

 

is it possible to go back to being just friends?

[Tony T]

He may have been completely honest with you from the beginning but he was not at all honest with his wife, the one to whom to swore to be faithful and truthful to. Why would you want to be friends with somebody like that and what advantage would there be in that for you?

[Arabess]

I think it would depend on the basics of the relationship. If he's never lied to you about future possibilites....and you knew the relationship came with boundaries......why NOT remain friends???? In this sort of relationship, sex isn't the ONLY thing....but it's the bigger part of what is going on between you. If you no longer want the sex, you can still share the memories....if that will also work for him. If it doesn't, he may chose not to stay friends. Most guys do though......

[mfrmboy]

Sorry to hear you fell in love .

Is he in love with you or his wife? He made vows to her and he's broke them.

Is that the type of man for you? A cheater is a cheater.

Does he have kid's? Do you want to take their father away.

Are you the only one he's cheating with? HHMMMMMM

 

Love or not it does'nt seem like a good start for any kind of long term relationship.

[Dora]

Dont you know why he was completely honest with you? 2 simple reasons:

 

I. Because he was not able to cheat on you. it only took you a couple of weekends to find out he was married.(since you have access to internet, it only takes a few seconds to check out if he is married or single. I am sure his wife's name would come up after a few clicks. )

 

2. he didnt want to be responsible for your feelings. If you went into deep with him and felt hurt, he would say: I told you I was married, you shouldnt have expected anything from me. it's all your own fault to be so demanding!

 

For everyone to see, he is just another slimy oyster in the sea, no pearl but dirty mud inside. he was never what you thought who he was.

 

should you 2 be friends? No. at least, not now.

 

if, someday, you have healed your wounds and found new meaning & love of your life, and this man had no power to stir up your feelings, and you felt he still had all the qualities of being a friend, then, you may pursue your "friendship". But in reality, that rarely happens.

 

If you remain as a "Friend", well, you will always fall back to be his little excitement in his boring married life. You have been with him for years, and I believe you'd thought thousands of times about leaving him, but you never actually did. if you really decide to leave but dont have much self-restraint, you should give it a clean cut and then line up some friends and relatives as your support team.

[LuckyStar]

Your story is similar to mine.

 

Marital affair friendships should be terminated and I am struggling to put an end to mine.

 

If you are contemplating moving on, stop sharing your personal life with him. When I put a stop to sharing my daily activities, my goals, etc. We didn't have much to talk about. Word of advice, most married men don't share everything. In my case, when I look back, I truly believe I did most of the sharing. Now, i find, when we do talk, we don't have much to talk about.

 

For starters, stop disclosing and sharing what you do and/or plan on doing.

 

Let me know if this works.