Is this right?

[trulyme]

I am having problems understanding something.

 

I broke up with my ex as you all know because I was unsure about what I wanted. We dated for 7-8 months and I am 23 and she is 24. When I broke up with her, I new it was not what my heart wanted. To this day, I am still unsure why I did it. Not sure if she is really either. It was so random........she said she was leaving for a month to study.....and I just felt like I was being put on the back burner (selfish me) and broke up with her. Just like that! We never fought, got along great.

 

I am sure that I lost all her trust since I broke her heart. I called her back a few days after I broke up with her, we hung out for a week or so.........and I could see she was not all there. "you hurt me and took me a million steps backwards" was her direct quote. I said ok well I will leave you alone since you obviously need to think about some things.

I got her some flowers, some xmas gifts, and went over her house to talk to her. All that in a 3 week time frame. She said, Im sorry I have nothing more to give you. I gave for so long and you took me for granted.

 

Why is not contacting her the best option. I am going on 3 weeks and I almost broke down tonight. But, why in the hell would this girl call me?? I hurt her. I should be the one doing all the work. I am sure she thinks this as well. Very stubburn girl. When we give advice to people on this board about the person that broke up with them, we say leave them alone. But I broke up with her, and I hurt her. I feel like I need to contact her. I feel like me not giving to her for 7 months, is the same thing as not contacting her after I broke her heart.

 

Everyone says, wait till they contact you. When we give that advice, it is to the people that are in my ex's shoes, becuase I broke up with her. So now, how am I being a good person by not contacting her. In a sense, its almost like I am showing her that she is STILL not important to me. I am having problems justifying this?

 

Obviously, right after i broke her heart she is not going to say........sure I trust you already again, lets give it another shot. But in my case, I feel like I should at least have minimal contact with her. A hi there, or an email there. I feel like I need to show her I care. Simply becuase I always acted like I didnt before. Obvioulsy not smothering her, but I think I am FAR from that. Help me out here guys. Should I give her more time before I even say hello?? Maybe another month. I seriously have the will power to NOT contact her. But is that really the right thing to do?? Is she sitting there thinking, well he obviously does not care about me since he broke my heart and wont call?? Sorry, came here instead of calling. CONFUSED is an understatement.

Truly

[sarah12]

She seems like she is very hurt by you, but I think that any woman would appreciate a call letting them know that the guy still cares. I know I would.

 

I feel like I need to show her I care.

Yes, that would be nice. Just make sure that you leave it at that, and don't push for anything or expect anything more.

 

Should I give her more time before I even say hello?? Maybe another month.

Maybe give it a week or so from now. It's always best to give yourself time to really think about these things. And giving her a full month is safe.

 

I seriously have the will power to NOT contact her. But is that really the right thing to do??

I think it really depends on exactly how things ended the last time you spoke.

Is she sitting there thinking, well he obviously does not care about me since he broke my heart and wont call??

She might be. Remember girls like to be called. They don't want to be the ones always giving in and doing all the work.

 

BTW I have been reading your posts and noticing that you have been doing very well on your own the last while. Congrats!