BlueeyedJonesy Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Yesterday my H left for his first business trip since the last one was 5 mos ago and that was when everything fell apart (dday) I found the credit card statement that showed me all of his fun he had been having behind my back. I'm not going to go there again because its still all too painful to really think about but I remember coming here with soooo much pain in my heart..I was completely lost. I found so much hope on this site..I cannot believe the insight I have gained from coming here. I remember thinking "I'm never going to get the images out of my head..or feel alive again" and here I am 5 mos later..not completely back to normal but I'm in a brighter place..and so is my H. He has been in IC with a sexual addiction specialist since everything hit the fan. I am actually quite proud of him..he is not usually an emotional touchy feely kind of guy and admitting he was an addict was like a damn breaking inside..he has made so much progress..and I can honestly say we are on one amazing path to being better than ever. The butterflies are coming back...:love: Sorry I'm rambling, I just wanted to offer some hope to those of you who are suffering from any kind of infidelity. Trust me, that feeling that someone is stabbing you in the heart everday will subside eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
datura_noir Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 (edited) Yes, I remember that feeling. Six (?) months after our DDay, he went halfway around the world for 2 weeks on business. It was tough; not so much missing his body (he snores loudly and flops around), but just the day to day stuff....I felt sometimes like I was adrift....I even (gasp) missed the snores!! It's part of normal life;this is what it is all about.Keeping up with the homefront is part of the package if your spouse travels for work. BTDT! BTW, I am 3 years out from all of this-it seems like another world. I just never want to be complacent, KWIM??? Edited March 30, 2010 by datura_noir Link to post Share on other sites
moaningmyrtle Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 My H has deliberately avoided all work-related trips away since d-day, however 6 months after d-day (11 months ago) his annual department planning meeting meant he had to spend 2 nights away. I thought I would be OK with it but I was actually a real mess and could barely cope with it. A friend of mine was there too, but even though I knew this friend would be on the lookout for my interests, it was terribly hard. Anyway the annual planning meeting is imminent again next month. I think I'll cope much better this year, but I'm still not looking forward to it. Link to post Share on other sites
spriggig Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 The butterflies are coming back...:love: First time I've heard anyone say this. For every other post I've read on this site, you'd think this NEVER happens. This quote is hope monster approved . . . Link to post Share on other sites
aeh Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 BEJ, I have to echo your post and also say how happy I am for you. We are coming up on our D-Day anniversary in June. I was a HUGE mess as anyone here can attest. Rage to the highest degree, some revenge cheating (I was referred to in your post about revenge cheating!) on my part, completely out of my head with despair, anger, hopelessness....oh, and did I mention rage? I have been following LS...not really chiming in for a long time, but would like to say that my H and I have been doing fabulous. Against all odds, and despite my crazy crazy crazy roller coaster ride--we have made unbelievable progress. We have really worked at it and have put each other as a top priority. We have lunch together EVERY day. We cannot wait to see each other when he gets home. We snuggle and cuddle, and yes, do still have A LOT of sex. We text during the day, we go on dates. I have butterflies for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueeyedJonesy Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 It's so great to hear other stories of success. When everything first happens you don't think you'll ever get your smile back...it really sucks..I remember waking up for 4 months straight and the first thing I thought was..."God..why am I still here?" it brings me to tears to read that..but slowly but surely we can all heal and come out stronger! I know exactly what you mean AEH about the RAGE...I've never been an angry person and that was definetly something new to me..My H has been on 2 trips actually since dday and the first one he asked me to go with (california) it was a business trip but it felt like a honeymoon. so great to spend some time alone..and see him in "working man" mode. I can't say enough how greatful I am for this site..and the people on it..you all will never know how much you've actually had to do with my recovery. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueeyedJonesy Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 BEJ, We cannot wait to see each other when he gets home. We snuggle and cuddle, and yes, do still have A LOT of sex. We text during the day, we go on dates. I have butterflies for sure. SAME here! its kind of sad to think that it took almost losing eachother to get some of that back (things were good before) its just crazy how comfortable you get when married and have small children. It feels good to feel that "teenager love" again...I'm happy you feel it too!:D:D Link to post Share on other sites
kevinm1019 Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Yesterday my H left for his first business trip since the last one was 5 mos ago and that was when everything fell apart (dday) I found the credit card statement that showed me all of his fun he had been having behind my back. I'm not going to go there again because its still all too painful to really think about but I remember coming here with soooo much pain in my heart..I was completely lost. I found so much hope on this site..I cannot believe the insight I have gained from coming here. I remember thinking "I'm never going to get the images out of my head..or feel alive again" and here I am 5 mos later..not completely back to normal but I'm in a brighter place..and so is my H. He has been in IC with a sexual addiction specialist since everything hit the fan. I am actually quite proud of him..he is not usually an emotional touchy feely kind of guy and admitting he was an addict was like a damn breaking inside..he has made so much progress..and I can honestly say we are on one amazing path to being better than ever. The butterflies are coming back...:love: Sorry I'm rambling, I just wanted to offer some hope to those of you who are suffering from any kind of infidelity. Trust me, that feeling that someone is stabbing you in the heart everday will subside eventually. Thank you so much for this... I needed this. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 I wanted to add that as a former WS who has reconciled with my H, I can honestly say that I am happy. Even though we have been to hell and back, it has helped us learn new skills in ensuring that we never neglect our marriage again. Things are better for us now than they have been for many years. Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1962 Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 BEJ. You have shown nothing but respect for me and I love how you come across as a confident woman not afraid to speak her mind and stand her ground. I do hope all continues to improve for both you and your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueeyedJonesy Posted March 31, 2010 Author Share Posted March 31, 2010 Thanks Jeff...same to you my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
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