Girls who complain about their boyfriend

[mrt336]

ALL the time. Is it just to hear themselves talk?

 

I honestly think this girl is trying to line me up as a rebound or something. I've never heard her say anything nice about her boyfriend, but she's always talking about him and how she can't stand him or how they're fighting.

 

I ask why she doesn't dump him; "because we've been together 2 years and he's the only real relationship I've had."

 

Does that really make sense in the female mind? "I've thrown away this much time so I might as well throw away some more?"

 

She's very attractive and smart too but it's like she's so insecure for some reason. She's asked me 2 or 3 times if I think she's cute, today she asked me "if I break up with him will you be my new boyfriend?" I just smiled and went about my business. Later on she said "you never answered my question!"

 

Do girls ever break up with guys without already having someone lined up?

[Pfiend101]

It has been my experience that there is always someone else. The grass is always greener on the other side to them. Some badboy that they can chase that eventually breaks their heart. Then the wonder what happened to them? lol. What a joke. Don't mind the guy that actually cared about them.

[counterman]

Of course there would be girls who break up with guys, without even having someone else in mind. Though, from personal experience, I do know that there are other girls who do have someone else in mind.

 

She does a bit insecure and a bit over her head. From what I have gathered, when a girl keeps complaining about her boyfriend, it always ends in a break-up. Thing is, if she's after you next, will you go through with it? Fully knowing that she might be like be like this with you?

[mrt336]

Of course there would be girls who break up with guys, without even having someone else in mind. Though, from personal experience, I do know that there are other girls who do have someone else in mind.

 

She does a bit insecure and a bit over her head. From what I have gathered, when a girl keeps complaining about her boyfriend, it always ends in a break-up. Thing is, if she's after you next, will you go through with it? Fully knowing that she might be like be like this with you?

 

Oh I don't think she'd be like this with me.

 

From what she says about boyfriend, he sounds like a loser basically, no ambition, plays video games way too much etc, borrows a bunch of money from her all the time. I'm very different from that.

 

What really concerns me is why she's still with him and if how he has that much power over her. Could be cultural, but I don't know, she is foreign.

[cooldudeinberlin]

Oh I don't think she'd be like this with me.

 

From what she says about boyfriend, he sounds like a loser basically, no ambition, plays video games way too much etc, borrows a bunch of money from her all the time. I'm very different from that.

 

What really concerns me is why she's still with him and if how he has that much power over her. Could be cultural, but I don't know, she is foreign.

 

Dude, dont delude yourself... this situation is very common and very rarely works out the way you are hoping. She enjoys the attention you give her and knows that she has you easily, out of the palm of her hand, fawning over her and supplying her with that emotional support. She uses the "hate the boyfriend" thing to make that bond with you, which is bad enough. She gets the attention from you, and who knows whom else, but still goes home to him for the physical intimacy that she obviously enjoys.

 

This is not the first time this has happened... come on... this is so text book. You desperately "waiting" around for her to make some decision so that you two can be together. Wake up from this fantasy and put space between you two.

 

In fact, messing around with another dude's girl is lame enough, to be entertaining her with her "bf problems" is an absolutel no no... that should even be a discussion with you... if she had any real interest in you, she wouldnt discuss him at all... keep providing that shoulder of comfort, as she is getting everything she wants... good emotional support and "nice guy" attention from you and hot, passionate "bad boy" sex from him. Why should she change this situation... she is the only one winning... and being extremely disloyal and unfair to you and him... if she had any strength and character, she would simply tell him that its over and take the time to get over it.

 

Next... if she does break up with him... you are nothing more than a rebound, if even that... due to your relationship with her is based on friend support... not a physical, intimate attraction... do you think its all of a sudden going to change? Not likely... but even if it did, 99% of rebound relationship NEVER work out. Its used as a bridge until she feels well enough to be on her own to get over the last relationship and then eventually moves on to find a man she find worthy enough to be attracted to.

 

honestly, I wouldnt even entertain being a weak enough man, so desperate and clinging to some remote chance of her losing him and coming with me... nope, sorry... too many other options out there without all the additional emotional baggage coming on board... plus knowing that most likely I will be in the same situation as that guy and she would be doing this behind my back. Im the man, Im in control and I choose... not a woman.

 

use your head, pick up your balls and salvage your dignity... dont need it, dont want it... move on.

 

BTW, all the things that are wrong with the boyfriend, SHE is making possible... she is complaining about things she is either helping him do or willing to make possible. What a bunch of BS... dude, you are being used and made a fool of... seen this happen many times before.

[boogieboy]

What you need to do is stop hanging out with her. When you had women that were interested in you, did they talk about anything negative? Nope...theyre on their best behavior, just like you would be to them.

 

Stop hanging with her. If she calls, make sure you cut her off when she starts talking about her bf. Dont let her vent to you. Talk about something else. If she insists, then cut off the conversation. Dont let her use you like that. Dont be so available to her, show her youre not waiting for her to become free, show her you dont need her.

[bayouboi]

Dude, dont delude yourself... this situation is very common and very rarely works out the way you are hoping. She enjoys the attention you give her and knows that she has you easily, out of the palm of her hand, fawning over her and supplying her with that emotional support. She uses the "hate the boyfriend" thing to make that bond with you, which is bad enough. She gets the attention from you, and who knows whom else, but still goes home to him for the physical intimacy that she obviously enjoys.

 

This is not the first time this has happened... come on... this is so text book. You desperately "waiting" around for her to make some decision so that you two can be together. Wake up from this fantasy and put space between you two.

 

In fact, messing around with another dude's girl is lame enough, to be entertaining her with her "bf problems" is an absolutel no no... that should even be a discussion with you... if she had any real interest in you, she wouldnt discuss him at all... keep providing that shoulder of comfort, as she is getting everything she wants... good emotional support and "nice guy" attention from you and hot, passionate "bad boy" sex from him. Why should she change this situation... she is the only one winning... and being extremely disloyal and unfair to you and him... if she had any strength and character, she would simply tell him that its over and take the time to get over it.

 

Next... if she does break up with him... you are nothing more than a rebound, if even that... due to your relationship with her is based on friend support... not a physical, intimate attraction... do you think its all of a sudden going to change? Not likely... but even if it did, 99% of rebound relationship NEVER work out. Its used as a bridge until she feels well enough to be on her own to get over the last relationship and then eventually moves on to find a man she find worthy enough to be attracted to.

 

honestly, I wouldnt even entertain being a weak enough man, so desperate and clinging to some remote chance of her losing him and coming with me... nope, sorry... too many other options out there without all the additional emotional baggage coming on board... plus knowing that most likely I will be in the same situation as that guy and she would be doing this behind my back. Im the man, Im in control and I choose... not a woman.

 

use your head, pick up your balls and salvage your dignity... dont need it, dont want it... move on.

 

BTW, all the things that are wrong with the boyfriend, SHE is making possible... she is complaining about things she is either helping him do or willing to make possible. What a bunch of BS... dude, you are being used and made a fool of... seen this happen many times before.

 

excellent post brutha!

[freestyle]

excellent post brutha!

 

 

I second that, and I'm a woman!

 

She's being an attention whore.She's creating a "Nobody Else Understands Me Like You Do" dynamic. (which is flattering, and easy to fall into)

 

The simple truth is, she's being really crappy to her BF. Putting him on trial when he's not present to tell his side of the story.

 

So she gripes about him when his back is turned, rather than discussing their private issues with him.(playing him as a chump....)

 

If she'll do that to the guy she claims to love.......

 

...well that could very well be you who's getting trash-talked to some other guy someday--when your back is turned.

 

I've seen a lot of woman do this, and a handful of guys as well.

IMO, it shows a lack of respect, and maturity.

 

Next time she comes to you complaining about her BF, try asking her why she's not discussing the issues with him.........

[ADF]

Maybe some women have lousy boyfriends.

[phineas]

and if she pushes you on the "will you be my boyfriend" thing.

Tell her probably not because she complains too much.

[DustySaltus]

She complains a lot.

 

You'll be a rebound.

 

She's using you as an emotional tampon.

 

If she used half the energy she's been using to complain on actually trying to fix things with him, this would've never happened. Seems lazy.

 

Insecure.

 

No class. Why would she string a dude along like that instead of just being honest with him and breaking things off.

[phineas]

She complains a lot.

 

You'll be a rebound.

 

She's using you as an emotional tampon.

 

If she used half the energy she's been using to complain on actually trying to fix things with him, this would've never happened. Seems lazy.

 

Insecure.

 

No class. Why would she string a dude along like that instead of just being honest with him and breaking things off.

 

You just described my STBXW.

So yeah, I agree.

[ImaManDammit]

I dated this woman once (I seem to say that a lot lately)

 

We were friends and she CONSTANTLY complained about her boyfriend.

 

So as a friend I helped her break it off. Some time passes and then she wanted to get together with me. So I said sure.

 

All I can say is her ex-boyfriend owes me HUGE. Two sides to every story and in this case, two faces to every person.

 

Nuff said.

[Woggle]

They like the drama or else they would have left. Also these men in most cases are not nearly as bad as they are made out to be. I have more than a few people apolgize to my face for believing all the lies my ex spread about me.

[carhill]

Tampon talk. Remove the applicator to prevent insertion.

 

AW's complain to feel validated. Dump the negative onto some other unsuspecting and/or compassionate soul to cleanse their conscience for another cum dump.

 

That's the reality.

[sally4sara]

The girl in the OP is not handling things right. She shouldn't be in a relationship - no matter how bad - and asking other guys to be her BF. It is cheating.

But some people are in unsatisfying relationships. They can still have concern for their SO especially when they've known them a long time. While they are aware of being unsatisfied in that relationship, they still feel impending guilt over the idea of breaking up. Sometimes they are uncertain on to act until they find an attraction to someone else. Rather than out right cheat, I think it is a better idea to recognize that new attraction as the final nail in their current relationship and get out.

I've ended relationships with no one waiting in the wings, but I've also become unhappy, began to contemplate leaving, and just before met someone interesting. It wasn't that I broke up the relationship I was in for the new interesting person. It was more of, "well I am thinking of getting out; here is one more possible reason to do it now".

[mrt336]

Haha, I've left out too much information.

 

I appreciate the advice so far, but I learned my lesson about being too nice and "friends" with girls in high school. I'm 25. I haven't had a friend zone problem in 7 years.

 

Stop hanging out with her? I don't hang out with her in the first place, we work together. I don't look for opportunities to talk to her, she looks for me or will be talking to other people and then ask my opinion on something. If I am talking to her I'm usually teasing her about something or telling her she's dumb for putting up with his **** and her rationalizing makes no sense. Does that sound like an emotional tampon?

 

Stringing me along doesn't really apply either since I've never expressed any interest in her. She is attractive, I've never told her that. In fact I don't think I've ever said 1 genuinely nice thing about her to her face.

 

I'm not even interested in dating her (i would be interested in sex with her, I won't lie) because she seems way too clingy from what I've heard about her and from her.

 

I posed this topic to find out WHY women will complain and complain about a situation they CHOOSE to be in. It's a pet peeve of mine I guess, I think it's extremely annoying and want to understand it.

[carhill]

Does that sound like an emotional tampon?

Any time someone repetitively takes up your time primarily for the purpose of unloading their issues on you, with little or no regard for your life, times, love, well-being, etc, you become a de-facto emotional tampon/therapist. If you like the word therapist better, OK

 

I posed this topic to find out WHY women will complain and complain about a situation they CHOOSE to be in.

 

See my answer about the cum dump above. It's a disconnect between want and attraction. Simple, unhealthy psychology.

 

The fact that you would 'do her' even though you wouldn't date her dooms your role in this. Your little head likes her so your big head puts up with her 'stuff', even though your mouth teases/negs her. The fact remains you're still there, instead of a vacuum where your presence formerly was. She can bitch to her girlfriends, or is that what you are?

 

Some food for thought from a former tampon...

[dreamingoftigers]

Oh I don't think she'd be like this with me.

 

From what she says about boyfriend, he sounds like a loser basically, no ambition, plays video games way too much etc, borrows a bunch of money from her all the time. I'm very different from that.

 

What really concerns me is why she's still with him and if how he has that much power over her. Could be cultural, but I don't know, she is foreign.

 

HAHAHA

 

If she bitches about him , she will bitch about you.

If she didn't want to be there, she wouldn't be.

He doesn't have "power" over her. He is convenient

[dreamingoftigers]

Haha, I've left out too much information.

 

I appreciate the advice so far, but I learned my lesson about being too nice and "friends" with girls in high school. I'm 25. I haven't had a friend zone problem in 7 years.

 

Stop hanging out with her? I don't hang out with her in the first place, we work together. I don't look for opportunities to talk to her, she looks for me or will be talking to other people and then ask my opinion on something. If I am talking to her I'm usually teasing her about something or telling her she's dumb for putting up with his **** and her rationalizing makes no sense. Does that sound like an emotional tampon?

 

Stringing me along doesn't really apply either since I've never expressed any interest in her. She is attractive, I've never told her that. In fact I don't think I've ever said 1 genuinely nice thing about her to her face.

 

I'm not even interested in dating her (i would be interested in sex with her, I won't lie) because she seems way too clingy from what I've heard about her and from her.

 

I posed this topic to find out WHY women will complain and complain about a situation they CHOOSE to be in. It's a pet peeve of mine I guess, I think it's extremely annoying and want to understand it.

 

Sorry I didn't read this one first.

 

They bitch because they come from families that have the "victim cycle."

 

It's a poor me thing. They get involved with people they don't really like and then complain. It actually isn't all that uncommon. My next-door neighbour is a prime example.

[Atalanta]

Sorry I didn't read this one first.

 

They bitch because they come from families that have the "victim cycle."

 

It's a poor me thing. They get involved with people they don't really like and then complain. It actually isn't all that uncommon. My next-door neighbour is a prime example.

 

 

Yup! This is exactly it. She keeps this boyfriend around because she likes being on the cross and wants attention in the form of consolation, so she keeps kvetching. It's good you don't feed into it by complimenting her and such OP.